Tarahee ghazal Mushaairah (14)

[jawaid badauni]

Mohtarmee Nazir SaHab,
Aadaab


Naacheez is baar phir sub se pahle Hazir ho gaya hai apne TooTe phooTe ashAAr ke saath. Ummid hai aap wa deegar membraan apni aara se nawazeNge.

Mukhlis
Jawaid
-------------------------------------------------------------


zulfe aalaam thi jo sar nah hoii
“do ghaRi chain se basar nah houi”

miT gaii jab se Khuwaahish-e parwaaz
zeest moHtaaj-e baal.o.par nah hoii

MaiN ne ik haath se jo ki hai madad
doosre haath ko Khabar nah houi

Yeh doa hai woh roz Eid manaye
Eid is saal jiske ghar nah houi

Umr bhar humne paaii ooski sazaa
Jo Khata hum se umr bhar nah houi

Kis tarah woh saHar ka jashn manaae
Jis ke ghar meN kabhi saHar nah houi

ek pal ko tumheN bhoola baiTheN
yeh Khata hum se bhoolkar na houi

is jahaN meN wafa, wafa ka jawaab
hona to chaahiye magar nah houi

baat na-m’otbar ki ai :Jawaid:
laakh sachchi ho m’otbar nah houi

[zaamin]

janaab-e-mohtaram badayouni saheb:
hamesha ki tarh eik khoobssorat kallam aap ke parhne ko milaa;ham log jab tak ki apni pencilein gharnein aur kamar-kasa karne mein mashroof hote hain,to aap ghazal likh kar faarigh bhii ho chuke hote hein;khair yeh aap ki kohna-mashkii aur is fan se aap ke lagaaw ki badaulat hai;
is khoobsoorat ghazal per merii aur se daad qabool farmaayein;

eik sawaal thaa jo in do misron se taaluk rakhta hai:

Yeh doa hai woh roz Eid manaye
Kis tarah woh saHar ka jashn manaae

is mein aap ne last jo extra harf aloowed hai,us ko saakin nahin rakhkhaa;kyaa is kii izaajat hai;mera is ke baare mein khayaal thaa ki is ko saakin honaa zaroorii hai varna eik syllable ka izaafaa ho jaaega;aap aur doosre saahib-e-fan is mein rehnumaaii farmaayein,to mamnoon rahoongaa

eik baaar phir se eik khoobsoorat peshkash pe merii or se dheron daad qabool farmaayein

mukhlis

zaamin

[jawaid badauni]

Zamin SaHab Shukriya

Manaae lafz ka istaimal donoN hi tarah durust hai, yAAni isko Faoolun ke wazn per bhi istaimal kiya ja sakta hai F'aool ke wazn per bhi. Urdu suKhan meN waise bhi YE ka girana jaaiz hai.

Ek baar phir shukriya.

MuKhlis
Jawaid

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Zaamin SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aap ne Motaram Jawaid Baduini SaaHib ke mandarja-e-zeil miSreA ke vazn ke taAalluq se daryaaft farmaayaa hei:

"yeh doAa hei wo rouz Eid manaaye"

Iskaa vazn hei:
faa'ilaa'tun ... mufaa'i'lun ... feAlaat
=/0//0/0 ........ //0//0 ............/0/0/
=2122.............1212...............221
Note: yeh ghair qaafiyah-band miSraA hei.

Ab aap dekhiye ke maiN ne jou Guzarish No.14 pesh kii hei us meiN kyaa likhkhaa hei:

Iska vazn hei: faa'i'laa'tun...mufaa'i'lun...fa'i'lun.
= /0//0/0…//0//0…///0
=2122…1212…112.
Note: 1) Pahle rukn ko "faa'ilaatun" kii bajaye "fa'I'laa'tun" isteAmal karsakte heiN.
2) ghair-qaafiyah band misraAoN ke aakhiri rukn ko "fe'lun" yaa "fa'I'lun" yaa "feA'laat" isteAmaal karne kii ijaazut hei.
Yeh BAHR-E-KHAFEEF MAKHBOON MEHZOOF / MAQTOOA kehlati hei.
Ijaazut No.2 meiN likhkhaa hei:
Ghair qaafiyah ban miSraN ke aakhiri rukn ko "feAlun" yaa "fa'i'lun"
yaa "feAlaat" isteAmaal karne kii ijaazut hei yaAni:
22.......yaa 112......yaa 1121.

Agar aap ghaur se paRhte tou sawaal karne ki Zaroorat nah pesh aati.
Ummeed keh tashaffi-bakhsh javaab de sakaa.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[zaamin]

janaab badayunii sahib aur janaab nazir sahib;

jawaab ke liye mamnoon hoon;dar-asal sawall yeh nahin tha ka 112 ki jagah 1121 use ho sakta hai ya nahin,[is kii ijaazat ke baare mein mujhe maaloom thaa];balki yeh kih jo aakhir mein 1 izaafaa huaa hai ,kyaa voh sakin honaa chaahiye ya ke baa-harkat bhii allowed ai;mera khayaal hai ke misre ke end main eik saakin harf barhaane se syllables ki ginti mein farq nahin aata lekin agar is ko harakat di jaay,ya harakat pe ho to yeh eik alag syllable ban jaataa hai;to sawaal yeh thaa kih is lihaaj se kiya muharrik harf ki bhii ijaazat hai ya nahin;


mukhlis

zaamin

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Zaamin SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aap ne apnaa sawaal yooN shurooA kiyaa thaa:

eik sawaal thaa jo in do misron se taaluk rakhta hai:

Yeh doa hai woh roz Eid manaye
Kis tarah woh saHar ka jashn manaae

is mein aap ne last jo extra harf aloowed hai,us ko saakin nahin rakhkhaa;kyaa is kii izaajat hai;mera is ke baare mein khayaal thaa ki is ko saakin honaa zaroorii hai varna eik syllable ka izaafaa ho jaaega;aap aur doosre saahib-e-fan is mein rehnumaaii farmaayein,to mamnoon rahoongaa

BEHR-E-KHAFEEF

Aapkaa sawaal yooN thaa::

eik sawaal thaa jo in do misron se taaluk rakhta hai:

Yeh doa hai woh roz Eid manaye
Kis tarah woh saHar ka jashn manaae

yeh samajhne ke liye ye ke aap aakhiri Harf per Harakat kaa jo zikr farmaarahe heiN uska kyaa maqSad hei ham beHr ki mukhtalif mumkinah SoorataoN per ghaur karte heiN:

Maujoodah Soorat meiN is miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilaa'tun.....mufaa'ilun......fa'ilaat
yeh doAa hei = 2122
w'ro'z'Ai = 1212
d'mana'e = 1121

aakhiri rukn ko ghair qaafiyah band miSraAoN meiN (22 kii bajaaye 112, yaa 221 yaa 1121 isteAmaal karkarsakte heiN)
=======

1) Behr ke liHaaz se aapko ikhtiyaar hei keh aSl soorat aap jo chaaheN kikhtiyaar kareN macalan:
2122.....1212......22 (jis meiN ghair-qafiyah-band miSraoN meiN ijaazut hougi keh:
aakhiri rukn 22 kii bajaye, 112 yaa 221 yaa 1121 isteAmaal kareN.
=======

2) Behr ke liHaaz se aapko ikhtiyaar hei keh aSl soorat aap jo chaaheN kikhtiyaar kareN macalan:
2122.....1212......112 (jis meiN ghair-qafiyah-band miSraoN meiN ijaazut hougi keh:
aakhiri rukn 112 kii bajaye, 22 yaa 221 yaa 1121 isteAmaal kareN
=======

3) Behr ke liHaaz se aapko ikhtiyaar hei keh aSl soorat aap jo chaaheN kikhtiyaar kareN macalan:
2122.....1212......221 (jis meiN ghair-qafiyah-band miSraoN meiN ijaazut hougi keh:
aakhiri rukn 221 kii bajaye, 22, 112 yaa 1121 isteAmaal kareN
=======
Behr ke liHaaz se aapko ikhtiyaar hei keh aSl soorat aap jo chaaheN kikhtiyaar kareN macalan:
2122.....1212......1121 (jis meiN ghair-qafiyah-band miSraoN meiN ijaazut hougi keh:
aakhiri rukn1121 kii bajaye, 22 yaa 112 yaa 221 isteAmaal kareN
=======
in ijaazataoN ke Aalaawah pahle rukn ko 2122 ki bajaye 1122 isteAmaal karne ki ijaazut hei.
=======

YahaaN jo miSraA diyaa gayaa hei wo yooN hei:
"do ghaRi chain se basar nah houi"
faa'ilaa'tun.....mufaa'ilun.....fa'i'lun
=/0//0/0........//0//0............///0
=2122...........1212.............112
is liye aapko ijaazut hei ke aakhiri rukn ko ghair qaafiyah-band miSraAoN meiN 112 ki bajaye (22 yaa 221 yaa 1121) isteAmaal kareN. (yani lafz "na'houi" kii jagah ghair qaafiyah band miSaraoN meiN aise alfaaz aasakte heiN jaise :
22 = daa'man, hou'gaa, samjhaa, dekhaa, waghairah.
221= inSaaf, anjaam, lauTaye, dikhlaaye, reHmaan, waghairah.
1121= kahN'au'r, tujhe'kaun, sare'baz'm, waghairah.

MuHtaram Jawaid Badaayuni ke miSreA meiN aakhiri rukn hei:
1121.

Ab aap bataayiye ke aap ne pahli martabah jo sawaal kiyaa thaa:

"is mein aap ne last jo extra harf aloowed hai,us ko saakin nahin rakhkhaa;kyaa

Is per tou maiN yahi samjhaa ke aap Harf "ye" ke saakin houne ke baavajood aap ghalaTfehmi meiN heiN ke wo saakin nahiN hei.

Ummeed hei ke mandarja-e-baalaa tashreeH se aap muTma'in hougaye hounge.

Agar nahiN houe, tou likhiye, maiN khidmat ke liye HaaZir hooN.
i

Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[jawaid badauni]

[quote="zaamin"]janaab badayunii sahib aur janaab nazir sahib;



Mohtarmee Zaamin SaHab,
aadaab.o.tasleemaat

Ummid hai Nazir Sahab ke jawab se aap mutmaain ho gaye hoNge.
Mazeed kuch likhne ki gunjaaiish hi kahaN hai?

Ek nacheez arz yeh bhi hai keh Badaun mere watan ka naam hai
mera nahiN. Isee liye maiN apne naam ke aage Badauni likhta hooN.
Yeh Hindustan ke Uttar Pradesh meN ek choTa sa shahr hai. Aapne
mujhe jo Badauni SaHab kahkar muKhatib kiya hai woh durust nahiN
jab tak Badauni ke aage Jawaid nah likha jaye.

Nez yeh bhi arz karta chalooN ke Badaun ka imla "post" office
meN BADAUN aur railways meN BUDAUN hai magar woh imla
jo aap ne likhe hai kisi bhi e'tbaar se durust nahiN. Yeh paiGham
maiN Nazir Sahab kobhi dena chaahta tha kyoN.k woh umooman
Badaun ka imla wohee likhte haiN jo aap ne likha hai aur jo ghalat
hai.

Khair andesh
Jawaid Badauni

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Hameshah kii TaraH aap ne apni dilkash ghazal bahut hi surAat ke saath Ataa farmaayi hei. Is behtareen ghazal per meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

M U L A A H I Z A A T:

zulfe aalaam thi jo keh sar nah hoii
“do ghaRi chain se basar nah houi”

Jee haaN bahut hii achchi gireh ke saath aap ne apnaa maTlaA pesh kiyaa hei. Bahut khoob.

miT gaii jab se Khuwaahish-e parwaaz
zeest moHtaaj-e baal.o.par nah hoii

Bahut khoob, waah waah.

hum ne yooN ki hai doosroN ki madad
doosre haath ko Khabar nah houi

Kyaa hi umdah sheAr hei. Jee chaahtaa hei ke aap se yeh sheAr apne liye maanglooN aur pahle miSreA ko yooN badal dooN (maiN ne ik haath se jo kii hei madad)

Yeh doa hai woh roz Eid manaye
Eid is saal jiske ghar nah houi

Waah waah, kyaa kehne yeh eHsaas aapkaa hii HiSSah hei.

Umr bhar humne paaii ooski sazaa
Jo Khata hum se umr bhar nah houi

Kyaa kehne Jawaid Saahib. Bahut khoob.

Kis tarah woh saHar ka jashn manaae
Jis ke ghar meN kabhi saHar nah houi

Yeh bhi manTiqi istedlaal hei. Bahut khoob.

ek pal ko tumheN bhoola baiTheN
yeh Khata hum se bhoolkar na houi

Waah waah, kyaa kehne, bahut hi achche andaaz meiN dounoN miSraAoN ko adaa kiyaa hei aap ne.

is jahaN meN wafa, wafa ka jawaab
hona to chaahiye magar nah houi

Jee haaN bahut khoob, chaahiye thaa ke hou, magar nah houi. Bahut hii achche Tareeqe se aap ne bayaan kiyaa hei ke aajkal zamaane meiN ziyaadah tar ik-Tarfah hii wafaa houti hei.

baat na-m’otbar ki ai :Jawaid:
laakh sachchi ho m’otbar nah houi

Bahut achcha maqTaA hei. Mashaallah. Baghair taraddud ke saath is qism kaa sharTiyah jumlah kehnaa mere liye tou bahut mushkil houtaa hei.

Aakhir meiN, is kaamyaab ghazal per aapko dobaarah daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.

Aapke kehne ke muTaabiq ke Badauni saHeeH hei aur Badayuni ghalaT meiN ne aapki pairavi shurooA kardi hei. Ittifaaq se Yahoo ki site per mujhe dounoN tarah is lafz ko likhkar talaash karne kaa mauqaA milaa aur nateejah aek hi niklaa. badauni ke lafz se talaash karne per Shakeel ke takhalluS ke baAd likhkhaa houaa thaa Badauni aur Badayuni ke lafz se talaash karne per shakeel ke takhalluS ke baAd Badaayuni. BaharHaal jab aap ne saHeeH lafz bataa hi diyaa to bhaTakne kii koii Zaroorat nahiN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Shummu]

zulfe aalaam thi jo sar nah hoii
“do ghaRi chain se basar nah houi”

--wah wah kya matla hai aur kya girha..bahut khoob!


miT gaii jab se Khuwaahish-e parwaaz
zeest moHtaaj-e baal.o.par nah hoii

--bahut khoob!

is jahaN meN wafa, wafa ka jawaab
hona to chaahiye magar nah houi

--wah kitni maasoomiyat hai is sher mein.....wah ,,,,

Jawaid bhai daad pesh hai umda ghazal pe...khusoosan upar darj kiye ashaar par

Shumaila

[jawaid badauni]

Mohtarmee Janab Nazir Sahab,
Aaadaab


MaiN maTley main "typo" ki ghaltee kar gaya tha jo ab thik kar dee hai.
AuroN ki nazar nah gaii magar Haiart hai aap ne kaise nazar andaz
kar diya. "Zulfe aalam thee jo ke sar nah hoii", yAAni KE ka lafz jo type nahiN hona chaahiye tha type kar gaya tha. Ab thik kar diya hai. Deegar chaupaloN meN pahle hi thik kar chuka hooN.

Aap ne jis tarah meri himmat baRhai hai main jitna bhi shukriya adaa karooN kum hai. Aap behud tafceeli tabsarey likhte hain isee liye jald nahiN likh paate. Chaliye is se hamen kuch seekhne ko mil jata hai.

Aap ne jo miSra tajweez farmaya hai bohat tez hai yAAni "maiN ne ik haath se jo kii hei madad", maiN apne sher ko badal raha hooN. MaiN apne miSrey se mutmaain nah tha magar is miSrey meN dushwari yeh hai keh kiski madad ki hai yeh wazeh nahiN ho raha hai. Mere sher meN doosroN aur doosre ki takrar kuch achchee lag rahee thee magar aapka miSra bahaHaal ziyadah caaf hai so main ne usee ko rakhkha hai. Mashwarey ke liye mashkoor hooN.

Is baar sub ki ghazleN achchee hoNgee kyoN.k miSra bohat aasan hai aur qawafee ki bharmar hai, radeeef bhi yaqeenan aasan hai.

MuKhlis
Jawaid

[jawaid badauni]

zulfe aalaam thi jo sar nah hoii
“do ghaRi chain se basar nah houi”

--wah wah kya matla hai aur kya girha..bahut khoob!


miT gaii jab se Khuwaahish-e parwaaz
zeest moHtaaj-e baal.o.par nah hoii

--bahut khoob!

is jahaN meN wafa, wafa ka jawaab
hona to chaahiye magar nah houi

--wah kitni maasoomiyat hai is sher mein.....wah ,,,,

Jawaid bhai daad pesh hai umda ghazal pe...khusoosan upar darj kiye ashaar par

Shumaila

Azeezah Shumaila SaHibah,
Aadaab

Ghazal ki paziiraaii ke lie mamnoon hooN. Aap bohat Khuloos se daad deti haiN jis se hameshah meri himmat afzaaii hoti hai.

MuKhlis
Jawaid

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapkaa kehnaa durust hei ke mujh se chook hougaiee ke maiN ne "keh" ke iZaafi houne ke baavajood us per iAtiraaZ nahiN kiyaa.

DaraSl, maiN paRhrahaa thaa:
zulf-e-Aalam thi jo keh sar nah houi

aur aap ne likhkhaa thaa:

"zulf-e-aalaam thi jo sar nah houi"

is ghalaTi per maiN aap se muAafi chaahtaa hooN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[jawaid badauni]

Azeezah Sara SaHibah

Himmat afzaaii ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN.

Mukhlis
Jawaid