koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay...........Ghazal

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
yasir shah
-
-
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: karachi
Contact:
Contact yasir shah

koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay...........Ghazal

Post by yasir shah »

assalamOalaikuM!
apnee aik saadah kaawish aap ki khidmat meN paish kartaa hooN--shaayed kisee laaiq ho-

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir



Ghazal

saamne jab tabeeb hotaa hay
Haal dil kaa a'jeeb hotaa hay


log saaray jahaaN ke aChChe magar
koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay


jis ki ghar meN koi naheeN suntaa
shahr meN woh adeeb hotaa hay


us kaa makhlooq meN shumaar bhi hay ?
ham saa jis kaa Habeeb hotaa hay


zalzalay tab khitaab kartay heN
be.acar jab khateeb hotaa hay



jis ke baa.i'c hooN mubtilaa-e-maraZ
wahee dil kaa tabeeb hotaa hay



qita'

:shah: ke jab qareeb hotaa hay
dost bhi ik raqeeb hotaa hay

par a'taa hay khudaa ki zoq O hunar
apnaa apnaa naSeeb hotaa hay





====================================================
Top
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:
Contact Abdullah Nazir

Bahut khoob, waah waah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Yasir Shaah SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal paRhkar bahut khushi houi, seedah saadah andaaz-e-bayaan jaise aarzoo lakhnawi kaa hou aur bahut hi dilkash taghazzul hei, waah waah. Meri dili daad aur mubaaakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT

saamne jab tabeeb hotaa hay
Haal dil kaa a'jeeb hotaa hay

achcha maTlaA hei. Bahut khoob.

log saaray jahaaN ke aChChe magar
koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay

Bahut khoob, saare insaan achche heiN lekin un meiN se koii aisaa shakhS houtaa hei jo dil se yaa dil ke qareeb houtaa hei. Waah waah.

jis ki ghar meN koi naheeN suntaa
shahr meN woh adeeb hotaa hay

Yeh sheAr bhi khoob hei aur mushaahideh per mabni hei.

us kaa makhlooq meN shumaar bhi hay ?
ham saa jis kaa Habeeb hotaa hay

yeh aapkaa apnaa andaaz hei jo shayad kisi tajribeh per mabni hou.

zalzalay tab khitaab kartay heN
be.acar jab khateeb hotaa hay

Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.

jis ke baa.i'c hooN mubtilaa-e-maraZ
wahee dil kaa tabeeb hotaa hay

Is sheAr meiN baAZ baateN qaabil-e-fikr heiN jin se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa Zaroori nahiN hei:
1- mujhe jahaaN tak maAloom hei, lafz "mubtilaa" nahiN balkeh "mubtalaa" hei.
2- SheAr ki ibaarat ko nacr meiN likhkheN tou yooN housakti hei:
(jiski vajah se maiN mubtalaay-e-maraZ hooN, wahee dil kaa Tabeeb houtaa hei.) doosre miSreA meiN hounaa tou yeh chaahiye ke "vohi dil kaa Tabeeb hei". Ibaarat ke liHaaz se houtaa hei kehne ki gunjaayish nahiN hei. Phir bhi yeh meri apni nazar hei jiskaa sabab mumkin hei meri kam-ilmi hou.

qita'

:shah: ke jab qareeb hotaa hay
dost bhi ik raqeeb hotaa hay

par a'taa hay khudaa ki zoq O hunar
apnaa apnaa naSeeb hotaa hay

Aisaa maAloom houtaa hei ke aap ne apne maqTeA ke saath aek sheAr ko qiTAa band kii shakl dii hei. MaAnavi likHaaz se bilkul Theek hei lekin usooli Taur per pahle sheAr ko maTleA ki TaraH qaafiyah band nahiN hounaa chaahiye (go keh is uSool se inHiraaf bahut kacrat se dekhaa gayaa hei.).


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Image
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Re: koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay...........Ghazal

Post by Shummu »

Ws Yasir jee aapki ghazal humein bhi bahut pasand aayi..har sher umda hai...dili daad pesh hai qubool farmaayeiN :grin:

Shumaila
Top
User avatar
sbashwar
-
-
Posts: 1654
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:25 pm
Do you know URDU language?: Yes
Location: Hyderabad, India
Contact:
Contact sbashwar

Post by sbashwar »

Mohtaram Yasir Sahib
ASAK
Vah bohat achchi ghazal kahi aapne. Hamari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool kijiye.
Shukria
Salem Bashwar
سالم احمد باشوار
Top
User avatar
yasir shah
-
-
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: karachi
Contact:
Contact yasir shah

Post by yasir shah »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Yasir Shaah SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal paRhkar bahut khushi houi, seedah saadah andaaz-e-bayaan jaise aarzoo lakhnawi kaa hou aur bahut hi dilkash taghazzul hei, waah waah. Meri dili daad aur mubaaakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

assalamOalaikuM
muHtaraM AbDullah Nazir SaaHib!
aap kaa yeh khoobSoorat andaaz-e-sataayesh dil ko bahut bhaayaa,,HoSlay baRh ga.ay ,,bahut shukriyah


MULAAHIZAAT

saamne jab tabeeb hotaa hay
Haal dil kaa a'jeeb hotaa hay

achcha maTlaA hei. Bahut khoob.

shukriyah


log saaray jahaaN ke aChChe magar
koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay

Bahut khoob, saare insaan achche heiN lekin un meiN se koii aisaa shakhS houtaa hei jo dil se yaa dil ke qareeb houtaa hei. Waah waah.

nawaazish



jis ki ghar meN koi naheeN suntaa
shahr meN woh adeeb hotaa hay

Yeh sheAr bhi khoob hei aur mushaahideh per mabni hei.

:-)



us kaa makhlooq meN shumaar bhi hay ?
ham saa jis kaa Habeeb hotaa hay

yeh aapkaa apnaa andaaz hei jo shayad kisi tajribeh per mabni hou.

bajaa farmaayaa aap ne yeh she'r mere tajirbay kaa nichoR hay :grin:



zalzalay tab khitaab kartay heN
be.acar jab khateeb hotaa hay

Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.

nawaazish




jis ke baa.i'c hooN mubtilaa-e-maraZ
wahee dil kaa tabeeb hotaa hay

Is sheAr meiN baAZ baateN qaabil-e-fikr heiN jin se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa Zaroori nahiN hei:
1- mujhe jahaaN tak maAloom hei, lafz "mubtilaa" nahiN balkeh "mubtalaa" hei.

jee aap SaHeeH keh rahay heN yeh "mubtalaa" hi hay ,,mujh se chook huee hay iSlaaH kaa bahut shukriyah-


2- SheAr ki ibaarat ko nacr meiN likhkheN tou yooN housakti hei:
(jiski vajah se maiN mubtalaay-e-maraZ hooN, wahee dil kaa Tabeeb houtaa hei.) doosre miSreA meiN hounaa tou yeh chaahiye ke "vohi dil kaa Tabeeb hei". Ibaarat ke liHaaz se houtaa hei kehne ki gunjaayish nahiN hei. Phir bhi yeh meri apni nazar hei jiskaa sabab mumkin hei meri kam-ilmi hou.

aap ki raa.ay bhi apnee jagah waznee hay,,aur yeh baat she'r kehte waqt mere zehn meN thee magar phir bhi she'r keh diyaa keh mujhe yeh andaaz-e- bayaan bhi durust lag rahaa thaa-



qita'

:shah: ke jab qareeb hotaa hay
dost bhi ik raqeeb hotaa hay

par a'taa hay khudaa ki zoq O hunar
apnaa apnaa naSeeb hotaa hay

Aisaa maAloom houtaa hei ke aap ne apne maqTeA ke saath aek sheAr ko qiTAa band kii shakl dii hei. MaAnavi likHaaz se bilkul Theek hei lekin usooli Taur per pahle sheAr ko maTleA ki TaraH qaafiyah band nahiN hounaa chaahiye (go keh is uSool se inHiraaf bahut kacrat se dekhaa gayaa hei.).


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.[/i]
muHtaram janaab !
aap ki is HoSlah.afzaaee kaa tah-e-dil se mamnoon hooN-

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
Top
User avatar
yasir shah
-
-
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: karachi
Contact:
Contact yasir shah

Post by yasir shah »

[quote author=shummu link=topic=7135.msg85125#msg85125 date=1142799784]
Ws Yasir jee aapki ghazal humein bahut pasand aayi..har sher umda hai...dili daad pesh hai qubool farmaayeiN :grin:

Shumaila
[/quote]

behn Shummu !
assalamOlaikuM

aap ko meree Ghazal pasand aa.ee, yeh khabar mere liye khush.kun hay ,, meN aap kaa shaakir hooN -

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
Top
User avatar
yasir shah
-
-
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: karachi
Contact:
Contact yasir shah

Re: koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay...........Ghazal

Post by yasir shah »

sara_j wrote:
yasir shah wrote:assalamOalaikuM!
apnee aik saadah kaawish aap ki khidmat meN paish kartaa hooN--shaayed kisee laaiq ho-

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir



Ghazal

saamne jab tabeeb hotaa hay
Haal dil kaa a'jeeb hotaa hay

:-) wah! khaas jab tabeeb / tabeeba dil ka hi ilaaj karte ho!

:grin:


log saaray jahaaN ke aChChe magar
koi dil ke qareeb hotaa hay

wah! bilkul sahi kahe :-)

bahut shukriyah


jis ki ghar meN koi naheeN suntaa
shahr meN woh adeeb hotaa hay

:lol: jaise ke.............

meN,, aur shaayed .......... :-)



us kaa makhlooq meN shumaar bhi hay ?
ham saa jis kaa Habeeb hotaa hay

achaaaa...........very nice :-)

nawaazish



zalzalay tab khitaab kartay heN
be.acar jab khateeb hotaa hay

wah!

shukriyah



jis ke baa.i'c hooN mubtilaa-e-maraZ
wahee dil kaa tabeeb hotaa hay

heehee.......sahi sahi!!

shukriyah :-)

qita'

:shah: ke jab qareeb hotaa hay
dost bhi ik raqeeb hotaa hay

par a'taa hay khudaa ki zoq O hunar
apnaa apnaa naSeeb hotaa hay

====================================================
Shah sahib,

adaab arz hei.

bhai mazak bartaraf aapki ghazal bohat pasand aayi

bohat hi ache ashaar hein jo mujhe pasand aaye.

daad qubool keejiye.

sara
behn Saaraa!

aap ki daad kaa dilee shukrguzaar hooN --ummeed hay yooN hi HoSlah.afzaaee kartee raheN gee- :-)

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
Top
User avatar
yasir shah
-
-
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: karachi
Contact:
Contact yasir shah

Post by yasir shah »

sbashwar wrote:Mohtaram Yasir Sahib
ASAK
Vah bohat achchi ghazal kahi aapne. Hamari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool kijiye.
Shukria
Salem Bashwar
muHtaram Saleem bashwar SaaHib!
tasleemaat

aap kaa tah-e-dil se mamnoon hooN keh aap ne meree Ghazal ko saraahaa -

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Kalaam-e-Sukhanwar”