ek ghazal--"jab na paayi koi daleel-e-shab"

[Shafeeq]

dosto
salaam-e-masnoon.
mashoor shayar-o-daanishwaar janab-e-Yousuf Kamal ke a'shaar:
ghhut ke khud mar gaye andhere bhi
jab na mehka koi jameel-e-shab

dil giraftaar-e-zulf hai Yousuf
ho na jaaye yeh gharq-e-neel-e-shab

se mutassir ho kar jo ghazal maine kahi hai pesh-e-khidmat hai. mulaheza ho:


jab na paayi koi daleel-e-shab
dil ki hasrat bani kafeel-e-shab

tum ne dekha kahaaN A'leel-e-shab
sub^ha karta nahiN qateel-e-shab

zulf hai yaar ki jameel-e-shab
ban gayi chaandni vakeel-e-shab

ik sehar hi nahiN qateel-e-shab
warna kis par nahiN faseel-e-shab

eik tanhaai, doosri hai ajal
teesri kuchh nahiN qateel-e-shab

kya hai aakhir daraazi-e-furqat
dekh luN naap kar faseel-e-shab

chaandni haq nahiN hai, baatil hai
qaatil-e-shab jo hai raheel-e-shab

chaar soo phhailte haiN woh gesu
dekhiye noor bar sabeel-e-shab

aarzoo wasl ki rawaa rakhiye
gar Shafeeq aap hoN khaleel-e-shab


Shafeeq Ahmed
Post Box: 174
G.P.O.
Hyderabad-500 001
India

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Shafeeq SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aap ne ghazal ki jo zameen ikhtiyaar ki hei woh mujhe bahut mushkil meHsoos houi.

MULAAHIZAAT

jab na paayi koi daleel-e-shab
dil ki hasrat bani kafeel-e-shab

bazaahir din kaa khatm hounaa daleel-e-shab aur shab ka khatm hounaa daleel-e-SubH hei. Daleel-e-shab ka nah hounaa is baat ko zaahir karrahaa hei ke din kisi Soorat khatm nahiN houne paarahaa hei. Phir Hasrat-e-dil kaa kafeel-e-shab hounaa is baat ki nishaandehi karrahaa hei ke lail o nahaar kaa wujood hi nahiN balkeh Hasrat dil hei jo shab ka patah de rahi hei. bahut hi falsafiyaanah maTlaA hei

tum ne dekha kahaaN A'leel-e-shab
sub^ha karta nahiN qateel-e-shab

pahle miSreA meiN taAjjub ke saath kahaa jaarahaa hei "tum ne Aleel-e-shab ko kahaaN dekhaa hei.
Doosre miSreA meiN yeh kahaa jaarahaa hei (wo Aleel-e-shab jo qateel-e-shab hei) yaAni raat ke haathouN qatl kiyaa gayaa yaa raat meiN jiska qatl houa wo SubH nahiN kartaa.
SubH karnaa feAl-e-mutaAaddi hei jiske liye kam se kam aek maf'Aool kaa hounaa Zaroori hei jaise Ghalib ke sheAr meiN:
kao kaav-e-sakht jaani haaye tanhaayi nah poch
SubH karnaa shaam kaa laanaa hei jooy-e-sheer kaa.
Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "shaam" ko baTaur-e-maf'Aool isteAmaal kiyaa hei.
Agar maf'Aool ko meHzoof rakhnaa yaAni baghair uske zikr ke yeh samajhnaa ke uska mafhoom (shaam ka SubH karnaa hi nikal rahaa hei)
to mujhe iskaa ilm nahiN hei. MuHaawire ke liHaaz se faaAil ko to "mustatir" maanaa jaasaktaa hei jaise English meiN "Thank you" jiske maAni hounge "I thank you" lakin "I thank" kaa meri nazar meiN koii javaaz nahiN. Yeh bhi housaktaa hei ke apni kam-ilmi ki vajah se samajhne meiN mujhe diqqat pesh aarahi hei.

zulf hai yaar ki jameel-e-shab
ban gayi chaandni vakeel-e-shab

jameel-e-shab ki tarkeeb-e-iZaafi bamaAni "raat ki khoobSoorat" Arabi meiN bhi mustaAmal nahiN hei jahaaN tak mujhe maAloom hei albattah jamaal-e-shab keh sakte heiN. Doosre miSreA meiN kiyunkeh "wakeel" ism hei is liye "vakeel-e-shab" bamaAni shab ki vakeel kehnaa bilkul SaHeeH hei. Waise majmooAi Taur per is Husn-e-maTlaA ki mukhtalif tafseereN ki jaasakti heiN.

ik sehar hi nahiN qateel-e-shab
warna kis par nahiN faseel-e-shab

Pahlaa miSraA vaaZeh hei "ik seHar hi jo raat ke haathoN yaa raat meiN qatl nahiN houti.
Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "per" kaa javaaz kyaa hei? FaSeel to us deeaar ko kehte heiN jo aabaad aur ghair-aabaad ilaaqeh ke darmiyhaan uThaayi jaati hei.

Note: meri tashreeH khud apne samajhne ke liye hei kiyunkeh aap to urdu ke maaHaul meiN heiN jahaaN ki adabi sukhan-TaraaziyaoN aur sukhan-fehmiyaoN se aap bakhoobi waaqif heiN aur SeHraay-e-Saudi-Arab meiN mujhe yeh sahoolateN muhayya nahiN heiN.

eik tanhaai, doosri hai ajal
teesri kuchh nahiN qateel-e-shab

achchaa sheAr hei go ke alfaaz ziyaadah isteAmaal houe heiN aur mafhoom mukhtaSar hei.

kya hai aakhir daraazi-e-furqat
dekh luN naap kar faseel-e-shab

yeh bahut hi achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.

chaandni haq nahiN hai, baatil hai
qaatil-e-shab jo hai raheel-e-shab

Khoob andaaz-e-bayaan hei. waah waah.

chaar soo phhailte haiN woh gesu
dekhiye noor bar sabeel-e-shab

aasaani se samjh meiN nah aane waalaa magar bahut hi khoobSoorat sheAr hei. waah waah.

aarzoo wasl ki rawaa rakhiye
gar Shafeeq aap hoN khaleel-e-shab

achcha maqTaA hei. waah waah.

Is khoobSoorat ghazal per meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Mahtab Qadr]

shafeeq sahib
salaam e masnoon
Aapki mushkil zameen mai kahi gai ghazal pasand aai. jis se aapke kalam par qudrat ka pata chalta hai. bahut khushi huvi. aap apna halka sa tarruf bhi pesh farmaiN to nawazish ke hamara talluq bhi Hyd. Decan se raha hai balke hai. wiase aik arsa huva shahr e mohabat ko chorhe huve aur jaana aana bhi kam hi hota hai .
shukria
MQ