TarHee Ghazal (Guzaarish 18)

Tarhi Moshaairah -ShoAaraa aur Shayeraat kii TabAaazmayi ke liye

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Munawwar
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TarHee Ghazal (Guzaarish 18)

Post by Munawwar »

Dosto,

Is maah kee Guzaarish par ghazal pesh karne kee ijaazat chaahtaa huN.

Arz hai:


woh jamaal-e-aatisheeN mubtil dil-e-bismil ka hai

woh jamaal-e-aatisheeN mubtil dil-e-bismil ka hai
"kyaa qayaamat khez manzar koocha-e-qaatil ka hai"

teer-e-mizhgaaN, Saif-e-shokhee, khanjar-e-naaz-o-adaa
shaahid-e-har ghamzah ik ik zakhm mere dil ka hai

khoon Thokar maartaa hai dil jigar ko is qadar
jaise daryaa khud hi dushman hasti-e-SaaHil ka hai

HaSrat-e-yak lamHah-e-qurbat rahee hai umr bhar
aek lafz-e-intezaar afsaanah mere dil ka hai

jaam uThte haiN wahaaN jab, ashk bahte haiN yahaaN
dard meraa baaic-e-Sad jashn us meHfil ka hai

a'ashiqee kee rahbaree meN farq-e-raah-o-dar naheeN
raaste par aa gayaa huN, par gumaaN manzil ka hai

"jurm hai faryaad karnaa ahl-e-ulfat ke liye"
kuchh yahee andaaz-e-hujjat ishq ke a'adil ka hai

sher goyee meN bhulaayeN jisne a'hd-e-a'ashiqee
hai sukhan parwar! 'Munawwar' naam jis ghaafil ka hai

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Har baar ki tarH Naazir jee aur doosre dosto kee inaayat kaa muntazir huN,

Khair andesh
Munawwar
Last edited by Munawwar on Sun Jun 11, 2006 6:12 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
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Abdullah Nazir
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Bahut khoob

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Munawwar SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki is kaavish per daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN aur aapke iSraar ki vajh se mandarja-e-zeil baateN ArZ karne ki jasaarat karrahaa hooN jinko aap rad karsakte heiN.

MULAAHIZAAT

aatish-e-tanweer-e-jalwat kush tan-e-bismil ka hai
"kyaa qayaamat khez manzar koocha-e-qaatil ka hai"

a- aatish mu'annac hei jisko aap ne muzakkar baandhaa hei.
b- tan-e-bismil ka hei = bismil ke tan kaa hei
c- miSraA bahut hee pecheedah hougayaa hei.

teer-e-mizhgaaN, Saif-e-shokhee, khanjar-e-ghamzah zanee
woh silaaH-e-Husn baaNdhe khwaah mere dil ka hai

Pahlaa miSraA achchaa hei.
doosre miSreA meiN lafz "khwah" ke sabab radeef ko "ho" karnaa paRegaa. jaise ham kahte heiN "imtiHaan denaa Zaroori hei, chaahe wo ho yaa aur koii ho. Is jagah ham "hei" nahiN keh sakte.

khoon Thokar maartaa hai dil jigar ko is qadar
jaise daryaa khud hi dushman hasti-e-SaaHil ka hai

Achcha sheAr hei aur iske doosreA ki radeef "hei" bayaan-e-Haqeeqat ke liye durust housakti hei.

HaSrat-e-yak lamHah-e-qurbat rahee hai umr bhar
aek lafz-e-intezaar afsaanah mere dil ka hai

achchaa sheAr hei. waah waah.

jaam uThte haiN wahaaN jab, ashk bahte haiN yahaaN
dard meraa baaic-e-Sad jashn us meHfil ka hai

Acchaa sheAr hei lekin doosre miSreA meiN taAqeed hei.

a'ashiqee kee rahbaree meN farq-e-raah-o-dar naheeN
raaste par laake chhoRe, jo safar manzil ka hai

Is sheAr meiN "raaste per laake chouRe" se behtar hei ke yooN kahaa jaaye "raaste per chouRtaa hei,".

"jurm hai faryaad karnaa ahl-e-ulfat ke liye"
kuchh yahee andaaz-e-hujjat ishq ke a'adil ka hai

achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.

sher goyee meN bhulaayeN jisne a'hd-e-a'ashiqee
kucch "Munawwar naa khiradwar" naam us ghaafil ka hai

Is sheAr meiN "khiradwar" kaa isteAmaal mashkook hei kiyunkeh lafz "khiradmand" mustaAmal hei. Albaattah "naa khiradwar" ko aap "naa qad-aawar" karsakte heiN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
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Munawwar
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Post by Munawwar »

Nazir SaaHab,
Aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya ke aap ne ghazal kaa tafSeeli tabSirah farmaayaa. Matla' ke muta'liq aapne jin nuqtoN par roshnee Daalee hai, un se juRaa huaa ek sawaal karnaa chaahtaa huN.
kush (=> qaatil, khaatma karne waalaa) ek muzakkar ism hai. neutral naheeN, balke masculine.

Ham kahte haiN,
meraa bhaai meree jaan hai,
yaa,
meree bahan meraa ghuroor hai

MaiN ne paRhaa thaa ke jahaaN dost, dushman, qaatil, waghairah "subject" ki jins ikhtiyaar kar sakte haiN, kush, khwaah, waghairah aisaa naheeN karte.

To kyaa ye kehnaa, ke jalwat kee tanweer kee aatish, bismil ke tan kaa kush hai, ghalat hai?

Meree jaankaaree ghalat ho saktee hai. Inaayat farmaayeN aur mujhe saHeeH baat se waaqif karwaayeN

Shukrguzaar,
Munawwar
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
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Kabhii khursheed kii raunaq pe chhaayaa thaa nashaa yaaroN
Sunaa hai ke usii din ko "Munawwar" jee huyeN paidaa!
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Abdullah Nazir
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aapka MaTlaA

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Munawwar SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Ummee ke tashreeH-e-maAani-e-ghazal hougayi hougi yaa phir yooN kehiye mafhoom-e-maAaniy-e-ghazal adaa hougayaa hougaa.

Subject ko samajhne ke liye aap ibaarat ko English meiN likh sakte heiN lekin kaunsaa pronoun isteAmaal karnaa hei usko Urdu yaa Hindi zabaan ke liHaaz se souchiye. Agar koii diqqat pesh aaye to asaatizah se rujooA keejiye macalan Sarwar A. Raz Sarwar SaaHib se.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
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Munawwar
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Post by Munawwar »

mubtil = > baatil karne waalaa, khaatma karne waalaa, destroyer, terminator.

Duniyaa ji, aapkaa bahut bahut shukriyah ghazal kee pasandeedagee farmaane ke liye

Munawwar
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
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Kabhii khursheed kii raunaq pe chhaayaa thaa nashaa yaaroN
Sunaa hai ke usii din ko "Munawwar" jee huyeN paidaa!
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hassan_bashir
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Post by hassan_bashir »

janaab Munawwar saaHib: Aadab!

ghaaliban aap se avval marra mukhaatib ho rahaa huuN, albatta ummid hai ke hamesha mulaaqaat hotii rahe gii. :grin:

aap kii Ghazal nazar-navaaz huii, beshtar ash'aar umdah heiN. adnaaz-e-bayaaN bhii pasaNd aaya.

eik aChhi koshish par nachiiz kii jaanib se dilee daad qubuul keejiYe. :rose


Dua'a go

~ Hassan ~
Urdu hai jis ka naam hamiiN jaante haiN :Daagh:
saare jahaaN maiN dhum humaari zubaaN ki hai
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Munawwar
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Post by Munawwar »

Hassan Bashir ji,
Jee, mujhe bhi ummeed hai ke aap se mulaaqaat hotee rahegee.:-)

BeHad khushee hai ke aapko naacheez kee ghazal pasand aayee. Ummeed hai ke mustaqbil meN bhi aap mujhpar inaayat farmaayeNge.

Shukriyah,
Munawwar
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
------------------------------------
Kabhii khursheed kii raunaq pe chhaayaa thaa nashaa yaaroN
Sunaa hai ke usii din ko "Munawwar" jee huyeN paidaa!
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haamidbaaqri
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Re: TarHee Ghazal (Guzaarish 18)

Post by haamidbaaqri »

Munawwar wrote:Dosto,

Is maah kee Guzaarish par ghazal pesh karne kee ijaazat chaahtaa huN.

Arz hai:


woh jamaal-e-aatisheeN mubtil dil-e-bismil ka hai

woh jamaal-e-aatisheeN mubtil dil-e-bismil ka hai
"kyaa qayaamat khez manzar koocha-e-qaatil ka hai"

teer-e-mizhgaaN, Saif-e-shokhee, khanjar-e-naaz-o-adaa
shaahid-e-har ghamzah ik ik zakhm mere dil ka hai

khoon Thokar maartaa hai dil jigar ko is qadar
jaise daryaa khud hi dushman hasti-e-SaaHil ka hai

HaSrat-e-yak lamHah-e-qurbat rahee hai umr bhar
aek lafz-e-intezaar afsaanah mere dil ka hai

jaam uThte haiN wahaaN jab, ashk bahte haiN yahaaN
dard meraa baaic-e-Sad jashn us meHfil ka hai

a'ashiqee kee rahbaree meN farq-e-raah-o-dar naheeN
raaste par aa gayaa huN, par gumaaN manzil ka hai

"jurm hai faryaad karnaa ahl-e-ulfat ke liye"
kuchh yahee andaaz-e-hujjat ishq ke a'adil ka hai

sher goyee meN bhulaayeN jisne a'hd-e-a'ashiqee
hai sukhan parwar! 'Munawwar' naam jis ghaafil ka hai

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Har baar ki tarH Naazir jee aur doosre dosto kee inaayat kaa muntazir huN,

Khair andesh
Munawwar
mohtaram munawwar saahib
salaamun alaikum

aapka kalaam ,andaaze bayaa.n bahut khoob janaab kya kehne......

hamaari daad qubool farmaaye.n

allah(sbhnwt)kare zore qalam aur ziyaadah

khair andesh
haamidbaaqri
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
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Munawwar
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Post by Munawwar »

Mahtaram Haamid Baaqeree Saahab,

Tah-e-dil se aapkaa mamnoon huN Janaab, ke aapne ghazal paRhee aur pasandeedgee farmaayee. Mustaqbil meN bhi naacheez par i'naayat farmaayeN.

Shukriyah,
Munawwar
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
------------------------------------
Kabhii khursheed kii raunaq pe chhaayaa thaa nashaa yaaroN
Sunaa hai ke usii din ko "Munawwar" jee huyeN paidaa!
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