'ik sadaa aa rahii hai kaanoN meiN'

[zaamin]

ek tarahi misre per merii koshish pesh-e-khidmat hai;apni araa dekar mamnooniyat ka mauqa dijiye
**********************


Daane Dunke ke imtehaanoN mein
zindgi kaT gayii uRanoN mein

ik sakoot-e-qazaa bapaa ghar ke
dar-o-diiwaar aur dalaanoN mein

'izz-o-iimaaN, khariid lo kuchhh bhii!
kyaa nahin bikta ab dukaanoN mein?

jhooTe da'awe farogh paate haiN
in siyaasat ke kaarkhanoN mein

ehteraam-o-adab na lehzoN men
na rahii sheeranii zubaanoN meN

juz ko kul par hisaar lete heN
ik kamii yeh bhii naaqidaanoN mein

bad-o-baatil bhii,'azm-o-ehsaaN bhii
zaat-e-dil ke nihaan-khaanoN mein

fasl-e-gulzaar-e-kishwar-o-millat
baNt rahii aaj baaGhbaanoN men

hai moattar-khiraamaaN baad-e-sabaa
'ik sadaa aa rahii hai kaanoN meiN'

'ishq ab baa`is-e-tavajjoh nahin
husn-bastii ke mezbaanoN mein



zaamin

[Sarwar A. Raz]

ek tarahi misre per merii koshish pesh-e-khidmat hai;apni araa dekar mamnooniyat ka mauqa dijiye
**********************


Daane Dunke ke imtehaanoN mein
zindgi kaT gayii uRanoN mein

ik sakoot-e-qazaa bapaa ghar ke
dar-o-diiwaar aur dalaanoN mein

'izz-o-iimaaN, khariid lo kuchhh bhii!
kyaa nahin bikta ab dukaanoN mein?

jhooTe da'awe farogh paate haiN
in siyaasat ke kaarkhanoN mein

ehteraam-o-adab na lehzoN men
na rahii sheeranii zubaanoN meN

juz ko kul par hisaar lete heN
ik kamii yeh bhii naaqidaanoN mein

bad-o-baatil bhii,'azm-o-ehsaaN bhii
zaat-e-dil ke nihaan-khaanoN mein

fasl-e-gulzaar-e-kishwar-o-millat
baNt rahii aaj baaGhbaanoN men

hai moattar-khiraamaaN baad-e-sabaa
'ik sadaa aa rahii hai kaanoN meiN'

'ishq ab baa`is-e-tavajjoh nahin
husn-bastii ke mezbaanoN mein

zaamin

mukarramee Zaamin SaaHeb:aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal par ab tak kisee ne naheeN likh`aa, Hairat hai! an aa hee gayaa hooN to do ek baateN kehne kee ijaazat chaahataa hooN. apne ash,a'ar par number Daal leN to sahoolat ho gee.
-----------------------------------------------
aap ko she'r # 2, 5, 6,7, 10 ph`ir se kehne hoN ge kyoN.k:

#2: lafz^ hai :daalaan: nah keh :dalaan: aur daalaan is beHr meN naheeN baNdh` saktaa hai.

#5: "lehzoN" naheeN :lehjoN:! aur :sheereenee: nah keh :sheeranee:!

#6: :HiSaar lenaa: muHaawirah naheeN hai. mazeed yeh keh :naaqidaanoN: koyee lafz^ naheeN hai. :naaqidoN: Theek hai.

# 7: :nihaan-KhaanoN: Ghalat^ hai, :nihaaN-KhaanoN: honaa chaahiYe.

#10: :Husn bastee: be-ma'nee hai. Urdu meN musta'mil naheeN hai. doosre :bastee ke mezbaan: naheeN hote haiN!
------------------------------------
#1: Ghaneemat hai.

#3: deen-o-eemaaN, numood-o-naam-o-sharaf

#4: Theek hai

#8: rahee aaj----------> gayee aah!

#9: KhiraamaaN---------> Khiraam
------------------------------------------------
Ghazal meN bohat Ghalat^iyaaN haiN. is par ph`ir fikr kee saKht Z^aroorat hai. gustaaKhee mu,a'af!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"