Meri nacheez Ghazal (Guzarish 25)

[jawaid badauni]

Dosto! Salam

Is baar kuch dushwaar zameen tajweez ki gaii hai. "Kya kya" ko
nibhane meN kya kya dishwaariyaaN aati haiN iska eHsaas Ghazal
kahte waqt hi hota hai. Phir bhee ek bohat saada aur mAmuli see
Ghazal ho gaii hai jo aap ki nazr karta hooN. Iss baar jald HaarZee
de raha hooN kyuuNkeh agle mushaaireh meN shahad main shareek
nah ho sakooNga agar Ghazal ka mushaairah huuwa. MaiN ayyam.e
azaa meN kabhi ghazal nahiN kahta hooN.

Allah aap subko shaad.o.aabaad rakhkhe.

MuKhliS
Jawaid Baduni
......................................................................................................



kabhee khuwaahish kabhee hasrat kabhee armaaN kya kya
dil ke ghamkhaane meN aa jate haiN mehmaaN kya kya


Gham.e hastee bhee diya hai Gham.e jaanaaN bhee diya
“mire Allah ne mujh~ par kiYa eHsaaN kiYa kiYa"


uljhaneN baRhne lageeN raah ke Kham baRhne lage
gul khilaayegi tiree zulf.e pareeshaaN kya kya


yaad aate haiN unheN dekh ke bhoole huuwey din
zulm Dhaatee haiN mire shahr ki galiyaaN kya kya


raat meN loriyaan aur din meN pakaRna ooNglee
tifl ke naaz uThaatee hai koii maaN kya kya


ho sake tou kabhi ik baar janaab.e naaSeh
jhaank ke dekhiye hai zer.e gareebaaN kya kya


kabhee patjhaR ke naZarey kabhi khiltey huuwey gul
rung “Jawaid” badalta hai gulistaaN kya kya

..........................................................................

[Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar]

[align=center]moHtaram Jawaid Badauni SaHib aadaab!

aap ne durust farmaYa hai. keh is beHer meN radeef"kiYa kiYa" kee wajah se maZ^aameeN muqaiyyad ho gae haiN. aor dusree t^araf qafiYah tang naheeN hai. lekin maZ^moon kee adaegee ke saamne gaoYa deewar see kh~aRee ho jatee hai. lekin agar shae'ir is deewaar ko ph~alangne meN kamYaab ho jae to jo nateejahta" jo asha'aar nikalte haiN. woh dil-o-jaaN ke liYe nah Sirf taskeen ka bae,c hote haiN balkeh khud apnee jagah shae'ir kee pehch~aan aor taa'ruf bh~ee ban jate haiN.

mujh~e Yeh kehte huwe baRee khushee-o-inbisaat^ ka aHsaas gh~ere huwe hai. keh aap ne mushkil zameen hone kebawajood baRe zindah-o-jawaid asha'ar takhleeq kiYe haiN.

aap ko Yaad ga keh guzashtah baras hamsaaYah maHafil meN bh~ee isee zameen aor radeef ko le kar t^areeHee mushae,'rah muna'aqid kiYa geYa th~a. jis meN aap ne us waqt bh~ee bohot zaor-e-qalam ka muz^ahirah karte huwe baRe pur acar asha'aar kahe th~e!!!!

kabhee khuwaahish kabhee hasrat kabhee armaaN kya kya
dil ke ghamkhaane meN aa jate haiN mehmaaN kya kya

kiYa kehne waah waah!!


Gham.e hastee bhee diya hai Gham.e jaanaaN bhee diya
“mire Allah ne mujh~ par kiYa eHsaaN kiYa kiYa"

waah!! sha'er to bohot achch~a hai. lekin aek baat jo maiN nah samajh~ saka hooN. keh girah meN aap ka isharah Gham-e-janaaN aor Gham-e-hastee kee janib hai....lekin shae'ir in GhamooN aor pareeshaniYooN ko eHsaan-e-khuda wandee se ta'beer kar raha hai. HalaaNkeh in kaefeeYaat ko imteHaan, badnaSeebee, Ya meHrumee ke zimrah meN Dalna chahiYe. aor in maSae,ib aor meHrumiYooN ke e'waZ^ khuda ka shukr karna.....mant^aqee aa'tabaar se bh~ee tashreeH t^alab hai.....ya'nee Gham chahe woh dunYa ka ho Ya meHboob ka Gham to Gham hee hai. koan Gham ke badlah meN khuda ka shukr ada karta hai? balkeh ise muSeebat aor qeher jana jata hai.

haaN Yeh mumkin th~a keh aap kehte keh mujh~e in donooN t^araH ke GhamooN se khuda ne door rakh~a. aor badla meN aap khuda ka shukr karte.........khaer aap behtar jante haiN. meree a'adat hargiz aesee naheeN. aap jante bh~ee haiN. mujh~e qawee ummeed hai. keh aap sha'er ko samajh~ne meN meree madad farmaeeN ge.


uljhaneN baRhne lageeN raah ke Kham baRhne lage
gul khilaayegi tiree zulf.e pareeshaaN kya kya

kiYa kehne!! wahh! wahh!


yaad aate haiN unheN dekh ke bhoole huuwey din
zulm Dhaatee haiN mire shahr ki galiyaaN kya kya

bohot khoob waah waah!! is she'er meN bohot dard hai...waah!


raat meN loriyaan aur din meN pakaRna ooNglee
tifl ke naaz uThaatee hai koii maaN kya kya

waah waah!


ho sake tou kabhi ik baar janaab.e naaSeh
jhaank ke dekhiye hai zer.e gareebaaN kya kya

bohot khoob!!


kabhee patjhaR ke naZarey kabhi khiltey huuwey gul
rung “Jawaid” badalta hai gulistaaN kya kya

kiYa kehne waah!!

Jawaid bh~aee meree janib se is HaseeN aor pur dard kalam par dilee dad apr mubarak baad qubool kijiYe! aor girah ke she'er ko puree t^arH nah samajh~ne ke liYe sharmindah bh~ee hooN. ummeed hai. kheYaal nah farmaeeN ge.

wassalam
Muz^affar[/align]

[jawaid badauni]

Azeezi Muzaffar SaaHab,
Aadaab.o.tasleemaat

Ghazal ki pazeeraayee ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN. MaiN pahle bhi Arz kar chuka hooN aap jis bharpoor daad se nawaazte haiN yaqeenaan woh Housla afzaaii ka sabab bantee hai. Aapki aad.o.taHseen meN aap ka KhulooS bhee shamil ho jata hai. Warna kaun iss haqeeqat se inkaar kar sakta hai keh yeh meri bohat saada
aur mAmuli Ghazal hai.

Zameen ke baare meN aap ne meri taYeed ki hai aur mujhe yaqeeN hai buzug-e moHtram Nazir Saahab aaindah ke liye hum donoN kee tajaweez ka Khayaal rakheNge. Waise is forum meN achche misrey hi tajveez kiye jaate haiN magar kabhi kabhi Gairdaanista taur per zameen kuch dushwaar ho jaati hai jo behtar mashq.e suKhan ka mauqa faraham artee hai.

Bhaii Muzaffar Saahab aap ne tazmeen ke Hawaley se jo sawal poocha hai ooska jawab mujhper wajib ho jata hai. Shaairee ki zubaan meN ya yuuN kahiye keh Ghazal ki zubaan meN in aalaam ko Khuda ki n'emat tasawwoor kiya jata hai. MaiN ne tanz meN Allah ka shukr nahiN Adaa kiya hai. Apne marHoom ustaad ka ek sher likhooNga tou baat aur
bhee wazeh ho jayegee. Such to yeh hai maiN ne iss tazmeen meN Ustaad Raunaq Ali Khan Badauni marHoom ke mundrja zel sher se istefaadah HaaSil kiya hai jo Urdu suKhan meN jaaiz hai. Unka sher mualiHizah farmaaiye, aapko pasaNd aayega:

har shaKhS ki qismat meN kahaN hai Gham.e jaanaaN
yeh dualat.e kumyaab jise chaahe Khuda dey

Ummid hai aaindah bhi apne graNqadr tabsarey se nawazete raheNge. HaaN aapse ik KhaaS iltemaas hai keh apne tamaam Khutoot ko "central allignment" ki bajye "left allignment" ya "justify allignment" meN bheja kijiye iss se paRhne waloN ko aasaani hogee. Shukriya.

Aapka MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni

[Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar]

moHtaram Jawaid Badauni SaHib aadaab!

aap ka shukr guzaar hooN keh aap ne faqeer ko faora" jawaab se nawazah hai. khuda aap ko salamat rakh~e.

aap kee waZ^aHat se meree zehnee kashmaksh tamaam huee aor ab baat Saaf ho gaee aor she'er ka mazah bh~ee do aatishah ho geYa. shukriYah!

aap ke ustaad-e-moHtaram Raunaq Ali Khan Badauni marHoom ka she'er bila shubah un kee buland kheyalee, aor pukhtah fan-e-Ghazal par daleel faraham kar raha hai. lajawaab she'er hai. waah waah!

aakhir meN aap ka minnat pazeer hooN keh aap ne khat^ likh~ne meN tamal nah karte huwe inta tafSeelee maktoob likh~a.

aae,idah aap ke Hukm ko khat^ir nasheeN rakh~ooN ga.


Wassalam

Muz^affar

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapkaa kehnaa bilkul durust hei ke radeef "kyaa kyaa" kee vajh se TaraHi ghazal meiN diqqat pesh aati hei. Houtaa yeh hei ke pahle se agar koii tayyari nah hou tou aek uchaTti nazar kisi deewan kee ghazlaoN per Daal kar aek miSraA de detaa hooN. Kaash aap aur doosre saathi kuch miSrAe pesh kiyaa kareN tou maiN un meiN se koii miSraA de doongaa.

YahaN ke urdu akhbaar meiN jo miSrAe diye jaate heiN un meiN se aakhiri miSreA kaa zikr karnaa munaasib samajhtaa hooN. Mumin kaa jo miSraA diyaa gayaa wo yuN hei:
"ham nah kehte thay ke Hazrat paarsaa kehne ko heiN"

Mere khayaal meiN meraa diyaa houaa miSraA is miSreA se tou aasaan hee hougaa.

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut khoob hei. Is kaamyaab takhleeq per meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

kabhee khuwaahish kabhee hasrat kabhee armaaN kya kya
dil ke ghamkhaane meN aa jate haiN mehmaaN kya kya

Go keh is maTleA meiN eeTaa-e-khafee hei (jo jaayez hei) bahut achchaa mafhoom hei, waah waah.

Gham.e hastee bhee diya hai Gham.e jaanaaN bhee diya
“mire Allah ne mujh~ par kiYa eHsaaN kiYa kiYa"

Is meiN koii shak nahiN ke agar aadami apne Wujood per ghaur kare tou Allah kaa jisqadar bhee shukr kare kam hei. Bahut achchi gireh lagaayi hei aap ne, waah waah.

uljhaneN baRhne lageeN raah ke Kham baRhne lage
gul khilaayegi tiree zulf.e pareeshaaN kya kya

Waah waah, bahut khoob.

yaad aate haiN unheN dekh ke bhoole huuwey din
zulm Dhaatee haiN mire shahr ki galiyaaN kya kya

Pardes meiN rehne kee vajh se aap ne pahle miSreA meiN "unheN" isteAmaal kiyaa hei lekin jab yeh ghazal Badaun meiN sunaayeN tou isko "inheN" kehnaa ziyaadah munaasib hougaa.
Bahut ziyaadah dilkash sheAr hei, waah waah.

raat meN loriyaan aur din meN pakaRna ooNglee
tifl ke naaz uThaatee hai koii maaN kya kya

Bahut khoob, waah waah.

ho sake tou kabhi ik baar janaab.e naaSeh
jhaank ke dekhiye hai zer.e gareebaaN kya kya

Achcha Tanziyah sheAr hei, waah waah.

kabhee patjhaR ke naZarey kabhi khiltey huuwey gul
rung “Jawaid” badalta hai gulistaaN kya kya

Jee gulistaaN kaa mizaaj hee aisaa hei kabhi kuch tou kabhi kuch. Waah waah. Bahut khoob maqTaA hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[jawaid badauni]

MoHtarmee Abdullah Nazir SaHab,
Aadaab.o.tasleemaat

Ghazal ki pazeeraayee ke liye mamnoon hooN. Aap ne tAAreef kee yaani mujhe
sanad mil gaaii. "Andha kya maaNge dou aaNkheN."

Aap ne ek sher meN Eetah Khafee ka zikr kiya hai. Kya hi achcha hota agar aap
kuch aur wazahat farmate aur hameN bataker keh eetah Khafi kya hota hai hum
jaisoN ke ilm meN izafah farmate. Aapke jawab ka muntazir rahooNga.

Khaaksaar,
Jawaid

[muhammad_19k]

Mohtaram Jawaid sb oar ustaad e mohtaram.

Agar ijaazat ho tao meiN sirf is leeaye yahaan par "eetaa" ke bare meiN kuch arz karnaa chahtaa hooN ke agar meiN ghalat hooN toa ustaad mohtaram taSHeeH farmaa hi daiN ge oar agar meiN saHeeH hooN ga tao ustaad e mohtaram ka kuch waqt bach sake ga.

"eetaa" qaafiaye ke baandhne meiN naqs ka naam hai.

ghazal meiN qaaifa radeef" se pehle ke ham awaaz alfaaz ko kehtaiN hain. jaise ke deeaye huwa taraH misraA meiN qawaafi, ehsaaN, mehmaaN, girebaaN waghaira thay. in meiN ham awaaz hisaa, baaN, maaN, saaN waghairaa haiN. dar asal, agar meiN kuch hosle se kahooN to dar asal "baaN, maaN, saaN, waghaira hi is ghazal ke qafia haiN. (woh ham aawaz alfaaz jo radeef se phorun pehle aate haiN)

kissi bhi ghazal ka maqtaa ye tay kartaa hai ke iss ghazal ka kaafia oar radeef kia ho ga.

jaise daikhiaye muzaffar sb ki iss taraH misrA par likhi hoee ghazal daikhiaye,

"reg-e-SeHra-o-khas-o-khaar-e-muGheelaaN kiYa kiYa!
dasht-e-Ghurbat se uTh~a laYa hooN samaaN kiYa kiYa!"

iss maqtaaA se pata chalta hai ke "kiya kiya" ( donoN misroaN ke aakhir meiN mushtarik hissa) ke alfaaz agle ashaar meiN baar baar duhra-aiN ja-aiN ge oar radeef ke tor par istemaal hoaN ge. oar "laaN", "maaN" jaise ham alfaaz awaaz qafiay ke toar par istemal kiaye ja-aiN ge.


ubb aate haiN aap ke matlA ke taraf,

"kabhee khuwaahish kabhee hasrat kabhee armaaN kya kya
dil ke ghamkhaane meN aa jate haiN mehmaaN kya kya"

choonke matlA se pataa chataa hai ke shaAer konsa radeef ar qafiaa isteAmal karna chahtaa hai.
agar sirf ooper wale matlA se hameiN qaafia oar radeef alaihdaa alaihdaa karnaa ho toa aakhir mustarik hissa "maaN kia kia" nikle ga. laikin baaqi ashaar paRne se pata chalta hai ke qafia "maaN kia kia" naheeN balke sirf "kia kia" hai. oar mehmaaN oar armaaN donoaN ko mukaamal alfaaz ke roop meiN qafiay leeaye gia hai. matlA meiN qafiaye ka iss tarah radeef meiN mix ho jaana hi "eetaa-e-khafi" hai.

isi taraH agar koi is taraH misrA par ghazal likhte huway matlA meiN " girebaaN oar bayabaaN" ke qawafi bandhe ga to bhi etaa e khafi ka izhaar ho ga. kyoonk donoN meiN mushtarik "baaN" radeef meiN mil ja-aye gaa. aor radeef "baaN kia kia" ho ja-aye ga.


aor iss jaiz iss leeaye qaraar dia gaya ke asaataza ne aisaa kiya hai. oar iss par mutzaad aaraa rakhte haiN. haaN eeta e jali ko sub hi aib girdaante haiN

agar matlA ke aik ya donaoN misroaN meiN qafia kissi "laHqa" ki izaafat ya kissi oar tabdeeli (seegha jama waghiara) " ki madad se baandha gia hai oar woah laHqa hatane ke baad baaqi Hissa ham awaaz naheen rehtaa to to ye eetaa-e-jali hoga.

jaise agar aik miSra meiN "girebaaN" oar doosre misrA meiN "shutarbaaN". shutarbaaN meiN lafz baaN laHqa hai. ub agar shutarbaaN oar girebaaN meiN se "baaN" (shutar ke saath isteAmaal hone wala laHqa) hataa diya ja-aye to lafz shutar oar gire ham qafia naheeN rehte. iss tarah eetaa-e jali ho ga.

aap ke matlaa meiN "mehmaaN" oar "armaaN" mukammal alfaaz haiN aor laHqa ki madad se bana huwa koi lafz naheeN iss leeaye woah eetaa e khafi hai.

Iss taraH matlA ke aik misra meiN "aqlmand ho ga" ar doosre misrA meiN "fikrmand ho ga" naheeN bandhay ja sakte. kyooN ke donaoN mein "mand" laHqa hatane se "aql" oar "fikr" ham qaafia naheeN rehte.


Talib e ilm,
Muhammad Khawar.

[Abdullah Nazir]

Janab
Mohammad Khawar SaaHib,

eeTaa ke baare meiN aapki tashreeH aek achchi justajoo hei lekin mas'alah adabi HawaalaoN kaa muHtaaj hei.

Apni be-intihaa maSroofiyat ke baawujood maiN ne is unwaan per likhnaa shurooA kiyaa hei. Jaise hee mukammal houjaye, yahaaN bhej doongaa.


Aapka MukhliS,

Nazir.

[muhammad_19k]

Ji Sir,

aap theek farmaate haiN. mairaa ilm itnaa naheeN ke meiN adbi HwaloaN se baat kartaa. issi leeaye meiN ne apni tashreeH ki sanad aap se chaahi thi. aap ke mazmoon ka intezaar rahe ga.


dua goa,
Muhammad Khawar.

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramee o Azeezee
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib.

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

eeTaa ke baare meiN aap ne tashreeH Talab kee thee aur maiN ne waAdah kiyaa thaa ke likhkhoogaa.

Is silsileh meiN aek mazmoon lekar HaaZir houaa hooN jo roman meiN hei aur usko mazaameen ke forum meiN bhej diyaa hooN. Is silsile meiN aur bhee bahut saari ahem kitaabeN heiN jinki saari maAloomaat pesh karne ke mauqif meiN nahiN hooN. Agar mazeed kuch likhne kee furSat nikal aaye tou zaroor likhkhoongaa.


Aapka MukhliS
Nazir.


http://forum.urdubandhan.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=2792

[jawaid badauni]

MuHtaramee o Azeezee
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib.

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

eeTaa ke baare meiN aap ne tashreeH Talab kee thee aur maiN ne waAdah kiyaa thaa ke likhkhoogaa.

Is silsileh meiN aek mazmoon lekar HaaZir houaa hooN jo roman meiN hei aur usko mazaameen ke forum meiN bhej diyaa hooN. Is silsile meiN aur bhee bahut saari ahem kitaabeN heiN jinki saari maAloomaat pesh karne ke mauqif meiN nahiN hooN. Agar mazeed kuch likhne kee furSat nikal aaye tou zaroor likhkhoongaa.



Aapka MukhliS
Nazir.


http://forum.urdubandhan.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=2792

[jawaid badauni]

MuHtaramee o Azeezee
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib.

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

eeTaa ke baare meiN aap ne tashreeH Talab kee thee aur maiN ne waAdah kiyaa thaa ke likhkhoogaa.

Is silsileh meiN aek mazmoon lekar HaaZir houaa hooN jo roman meiN hei aur usko mazaameen ke forum meiN bhej diyaa hooN. Is silsile meiN aur bhee bahut saari ahem kitaabeN heiN jinki saari maAloomaat pesh karne ke mauqif meiN nahiN hooN. Agar mazeed kuch likhne kee furSat nikal aaye tou zaroor likhkhoongaa.



Aapka MukhliS
Nazir.


http://forum.urdubandhan.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=2792

MoHtarmee Abdullah Nazir Sahab
Aadaab

Subse pahle tou Ghazal ki pazeeraayee ke liye aap ka mamnoon hooN. Aap ne taqreeban tamaam ashAAr ko pasaNd farmaya hai jo mere liye bohat Khushee ki baat hai.

MiaN ne aap ka maZmoon dekh liya jo ilm meN izafey ka sabab bana. Bohat bohat shukiya.

Allah aapko umr.e Toolaani ataa farmaye aur aap ka saya hum sub ke sir per qaaiim rakhkhe takeh hum sub apke ilm se faizyaab hote raheN.

MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni

[haamidbaaqri]

Dosto! Salam

Is baar kuch dushwaar zameen tajweez ki gaii hai. "Kya kya" ko
nibhane meN kya kya dishwaariyaaN aati haiN iska eHsaas Ghazal
kahte waqt hi hota hai. Phir bhee ek bohat saada aur mAmuli see
Ghazal ho gaii hai jo aap ki nazr karta hooN. Iss baar jald HaarZee
de raha hooN kyuuNkeh agle mushaaireh meN shahad main shareek
nah ho sakooNga agar Ghazal ka mushaairah huuwa. MaiN ayyam.e
azaa meN kabhi ghazal nahiN kahta hooN.

Allah aap subko shaad.o.aabaad rakhkhe.

MuKhliS
Jawaid Baduni
......................................................................................................



kabhee khuwaahish kabhee hasrat kabhee armaaN kya kya
dil ke ghamkhaane meN aa jate haiN mehmaaN kya kya


Gham.e hastee bhee diya hai Gham.e jaanaaN bhee diya
“mire Allah ne mujh~ par kiYa eHsaaN kiYa kiYa"


uljhaneN baRhne lageeN raah ke Kham baRhne lage
gul khilaayegi tiree zulf.e pareeshaaN kya kya


yaad aate haiN unheN dekh ke bhoole huuwey din
zulm Dhaatee haiN mire shahr ki galiyaaN kya kya


raat meN loriyaan aur din meN pakaRna ooNglee
tifl ke naaz uThaatee hai koii maaN kya kya


ho sake tou kabhi ik baar janaab.e naaSeh
jhaank ke dekhiye hai zer.e gareebaaN kya kya


kabhee patjhaR ke naZarey kabhi khiltey huuwey gul
rung “Jawaid” badalta hai gulistaaN kya kya

..........................................................................

biraadaram jawaid saahib

"ho sake tou kabhi ik baar janaab.e naaSeh
jhaank ke dekhiye hai zer.e gareebaaN kya kya"

bahut khoob ......waah waah...kya kehnay........

saaray sher acchay hai.n.

is behtareen ghazal per hamaari dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaaye.n :rose :rose :rose

allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah

aapka apna
haamidbaaqri