[align=center]Yaran-e-meHfil aadaab!

abh~ee th~oRee der qabl yeh Ghazal hoee hai. socha baGharaZ^-e-mulaHiZ^aat pesh kar dooN.

beHr-e-ramal meHz^oof=2122....2122....2122.....212

1,


hastee-e-maohoom kaef-e-dao jahaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN

juz tire rangeenee-e-bazm-e-jahaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

2,

apnee na kamee ka mujh~ par kh~ul geya sirr-e-nihaaN

is jahaaN meN HaSil-e-u'mr-e-rawaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

3,

a'zm rasikh hai to manzil khud pukare gee tujh~e

rah kee talkhee shikastah jism-o-jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!


4,

fitnah-e-Ghurbat yeh kaese des meN laya jahaaN

koee hamdam, mehrbaaN, na mehrbaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

5,

aek aesee aag khakistar mujh~e kartee rahee

dil jalatee hai magar jis ka dh~uwaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

6,

jaan le meree taRap se shiddat-e-dard-o-alam

warnah mujh~ nakhcheer-e-bismil kee zabaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

7,

ab mujh~e aazad kar ke kiya mila Siyyaad ko?

jab naz^ar ke samne kaon-o-makaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

8,

Doob kar saHil peh ham ne raz yeh jana to kiya!!

bar lab-e-saHil hai t^ufaaN darmiYaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

9,

is qadar is taodah-e-hastee peh tu nazaaN nah ho

khaak ke putle se baRh~ kar jis-o-jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

10,

maiN tire kuche se uTh~ kar kiya geya keh ab wahaaN

koee sae,il hai nah raqS-e-neem jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!
( sae,il=sawaal karne wala)

11,

she'er kehne hooN to Nazir* se liya kar mashware

Sirf teree shaokhee-e-Husn-e-bayaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN
(*moHtaram Abdullah Nazir)

12,

dekh~ kar Halat Muz^affar kee raHam aaya mujh~e

maiN pukaar uTTh~a mira dard-e-nihaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN.

zeYadah Hadd-e-adab!

Muz^affar A Muz^affar[/align]

Azeezi wa mohibbee Muzaffar SaaHab,
aadaab

Aapki Gazal nazar nawaaz huuwee. Bohat achchee aur KhaaSee dushwaar zameeN men qalam uThaayaa hai aap ne. Bohat meHnat bhee ki hai. Kahna paRega keh zameen ka bohat kuch haq adaa kar diya. Kaii ashAAr ne motAASSir kiya. Meri daad qubool kijiye.

Abdullah Nazir Sahab ke Hawaley se aap ka sher shayad husb.e Haal hai. Woh ek aise ahl.e ilm haiN jo Urdu daaN bhe haiN aur ek kohna mashq shayar bhee magar jazba.e takabboor se qatAn beneyaaz. Nazir SaaHab inkesaaree ki jeetee jaagtee miSaal haiN. Yaqeenan woh hum sub ke liye ek rahmat haiN aur hameN unke ilm se faidah uThana chaahiye. Mujhe unki Haaliya alalat ka sunker bohat tashweeesh huuwee thee aur yeh mAlum hokaer itmenaan meHsoos kar raha hooN keh ab Masha Allah woh behter haiN. Allah unhen shifaa.e aajil.o.kaamil ataa farmaye.

Aapka MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni

moHtaram Khawar SaHib aadaab!

Ghazal ko pasand farmane ke liye aap ka mamnoon hooN. khuda aap ko salamat rakh~e.

3. "jis o jaaN". kia jism o jaaN ka typo hai. ya meiN dictionary daikhooN? Muzaffar sb muazirat ke saath aap ke iss shaer ne pehle do ashaar jaisaa aSar naheeN chhorA. kyooN? ye toa meiN batane se Qasir hooN

jee yeh typo se ho geya hai. nishaandahee ke liye aap ka be Had mamnoon hooN.

4. iss sha'er ke doosre miSrA

"koee hamdam, mehrbaaN, na mehrbaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!" meiN istemaal hone wali tarakeeb ka rabt mujhe samajh naheeN aayaa. mehrbaaN oar hamdam (muradif) mehrbaaN oar na mehrbaaN (mutazaad) samajh meiN aateiN haiN. laikin teen alfaaz jin meiN do mutradif aor aik mutzaad hai (yani joray naheeN haiN). kia iss taraH ka isteAmaal ki miSalaiN available haiN?

maiN is par Z^aroor naz^ar canee karooN ga. dekh~te haiN deegar eHbaab kiya kehte haiN.

5, pehle misrA meiN "mujh" oar doosre misrA meiN "dil" ke istemaal khoobsoorti paida kar rahaa hai ya qabaahat. meiN ye samajhne se qaSir hooN.

is par bh~ee inshaAllah Ghaor kar ke hee kush~ kaha ja sakta hai.

6, "nakhcheer: ke leeaye mujhe ub dictionary daikhni paRay gi . mujhe lagtaa hai ke aap ki shaa'eri paRh paRh kar mairaa zakheeraa alfaaz bhi achcha ho ja-aye ga .

1,

khaer nakhcheer=shikaar kiya geya parindah=Saed=ya zakhmee parindah.

9. "toadaa e hastee" kaafi tajjarbaati tarkeeb lagi ( iss baat kaa khayaal rakhiaye ga ke maira mutaliA bohat kam hai)

jee maiN Z^aroor aae,indah se kheyaal rakh~ooN ga. tarakeeb to she'er kehte kehte najane kahaaN se aajatee haiN. warnah shae'eeree to seedh~a saadh~ adilee jazbaat ke iz^haar ka naam hai. jaesa keh HaZ^rat Raz farma gae haiN.

"shae'eree kiya hai dilee jazbaat ka iz^haar hai"

maqtA khoobsoorat hai. laikin mujhe matlA ke muqable meiN kuch pheekaa laga.

maqta' ko pasand farmane ka be Had shukriyah!

Mairi raa-aye ki kia ahmiat hai. iss ka aap ko bakhoobi andaazaa hai. jahaaN kaheeN bhi mairi iSlaaH mumkin ho, farmaa dijiaye ga. iss se mujhe shaa'eri ko samajhne meiN madaad milay gi.

Biradaram Khawar SaHib!
aap kee rae mere liye baRee aham hai. maiN to ik t^alib-e-i'lm kee Haeciyat se mehfil meN aa kar baeTh~ jata hooN. meree u'mr aor tajribah kuch~ naheeN. HuZool-e-i'lm meN mare mare ph~irta hooN. aap aese aHbaab aae,inah dikh~a dete haiN to apnee kam maae,igee ka aHsaas mazeed shiddat ikhteyaar kar jata hai. aor aap kee iradat aor haoSilah afzaee sahaara de detee hai.

khush raheeN.

aap ka mamnoon!
Muz^affar

Sarwar Raz wrote:muHibbee Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

kaam kee maSroofiyat meN taaKheer huyee. aap kee Ghazal dekhee. zameen aap ne dilkash muntaKhib kee hai. albattah kaheeN kaheeN aap :paTRee se utar gaYe haiN:! maiN nishaan-dehee Z^arooree samajhtaa hooN. chunaan.ch chand baateN a'rZ^ kartaa hooN. ummeed hai keh naa-gawaar naheeN guzreN gee.
----------------------
1.
hastee-e-maohoom kaef-e-dao jahaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN
juz tire rangeenee-e-bazm-e-jahaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

awwal to yeh keh mat^le' ke donoN miSro'N meN aap ne :jahaaN kuchh bhee naheeN: likh kar us ko :radeef: kar diyaa hai! aage ke ash,a'ar meN aap ne apnee radeef badal kar :kuchh bhee naheeN: kar dee hai. z^aahir hai keh aap kaa iraadah :kuchh bhee naheeN: ko radeef banaane kaa thaa lekin aap se Ghaflat ho gayee! so is kaa durust karnaa Z^arooree huwaa! radeef qaa,im keejiYe aur phir usee munaasibat se Ghazal durust farmaa,iYe.

doyem yeh keh :hastee-e-mauhoom: to hai hee :kuchh bhee naheeN:! is liYe us ko :kaif-e-do-jahaaN: ke saath lagaanaa ya'nee kyaa? koyee aur tarkeeb DhooNDnaa ho gee.

soyem: "juz" ke ma'nee haiN :siwaaye:. Ghalib kehte haiN keh:

dehr juz jalwah-e-yaktaa,ee-e-ma'shooq naheeN
ham kahaaN hote agar Husn nah hotaa KhudbeeN?

aap yahaaN :baGhair tere: kehnaa chaahate haiN? is shakl meN :be/bin: ziyaadah munaasib hoN ge. waise :juz: se miSre' kaa mat^lab nikal saktaa hai lekin phir pehle miSre' se us kaa rabt^ mashkook ho jaataa hai!
-----------------------------------
2,
apnee na kamee ka mujh~ par kh~ul geya sirr-e-nihaaN
is jahaaN meN HaSil-e-u'mr-e-rawaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

Khoob kahaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe!
------------------------
3,
a'zm rasikh hai to manzil khud pukare gee tujh~e
rah kee talkhee shikastah jis-o-jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

yeh bhee achhaa she'r hai. ek shakl yooN bhee ho saktee hai:

a'zm raasiKh ho to manzil Khud pukaare gee tujhe
talKhee-e-manzil, shikast-e-jism-o-jaaN kuchh bhee naheeN
---------------------------------
4,
fitnah-e-Ghurbat yeh kaese des meN laya jahaaN
koee hamdam, mehrbaaN, na mehrbaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

agar nah koyee :mehrbaaN: hai aur nah hee :naa-mehrbaaN:, to phir wahaaN :nah aadam, nah aadam-zaad:! ya'nee koyee bhee naheeN hai! to goyaa yeh des insaanoN se Khaalee huwaa! aap aise mulk meN kyaa kar rahe haiN SaaHeb?

mazeed ek nuktah: :mehrbaaN/naa-mehrbaaN: ke liYe :koyee: musta'mil hai. :kuchh: kaa lafz^ ashKhaaS ke liYe naheeN ista'maal hotaa hai. Ghalib kehte haiN:

rahiYe ab aisee jagah chal kar jahaaN koyee nah ho
ham-nafas koyee nah ho aur ham-zabaaN koyee nah ho

ek naz^ar dekh leN to kyaa harj hai!
-------------------------
5,
aek aesee aag khakistar mujh~e kartee rahee
dil jalatee hai magar jis ka dh~uwaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

is par naz^ar-e-caanee kar ke bunat mazeed mu,accar banaaYeN to behtar ho gaa. yooN aap behtar jaante haiN.
---------------------------
6,
jaan le meree taRap se shiddat-e-dard-o-alam
warnah mujh~ nakhcheer-e-bismil kee zabaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!
--------------------------
7,
ab mujh~e aazad kar ke kiya mila Siyyaad ko?
jab naz^ar ke samne kaon-o-makaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

yahaaN :kaun-o-makaaN: kaa ista'maal samajh meN naheeN aayaa. is ke ma'nee :kaa,inaat, zindagee, maujoodaat: ke haiN. Khudaa ko :maalik-e-kaun-o-makaaN: kehte haiN. to she'r kaa mat^lab kyaa huwaa? tashreeH kar deN to i'naayat ho gee.
----------------------------
8,
Doob kar saHil peh ham ne raz yeh jana to kiya!!
bar lab-e-saHil hai t^ufaaN darmiYaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

:bar lab-e-saaHil: tarkeeb SaHeeH naheeN hai. :lab-e-saaHil: meN :bar: ke ma'nee shaamil haiN. doosre yeh keh kis ke :darmiyaan:? ek naz^ar phir dekh lene meN harj naheeN hai!
-------------------------
9,
is qadar is taodah-e-hastee peh tu nazaaN nah ho
khaak ke putle se baRh~ kar jis-o-jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

10,
maiN tire kuche se uTh~ kar kiya geya keh ab wahaaN
koee sae,il hai nah raqS-e-neem jaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN!

ya'nee us ke koocheh meN ek aap hee :saa,il: bhee the aur aap hee woh :neem-jaaN: jo taRap rahaa thaa. so aap kaa wahaaN se :uTh: kar chalaa jaanaa kuchh a'jeeb see baat huyee. agar zaKhm itnaa kaaree thaa keh aap :neem-jaan: (adh-mare) ho chuke the to baz^aahir maut yaqeenee honee chaahiYe yaa kam se kam :uTh: kar chalaa jaanaa mushkil!
-----------------------------
11,
she'er kehne hooN to Nazir* se liya kar mashware
Sirf teree shaokhee-e-Husn-e-bayaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN

12,
dekh~ kar Halat Muz^affar kee reHam aaya mujh~e
maiN pukaar uTTh~a mira dard-e-nihaaN kuch~ bh~ee naheeN.

SaHeeH lafz^ hai :reHm: (Hey saakin hai, is par zabar naheeN hai!). yeh Ghalat^ee nihaayat a'am hai aur mere yaa aap ke baar baar kehne se koyee farq naheeN paRtaa hai! yeh afsaanah to maiN baarhaa duhraa chukaa hooN!
------------------------------
aap kee kaawish yaqeena" qaabil-e-daad hai. albattah is par aap ko naz^ar-e-caanee kee Z^aroorat hai taa.k KhaamiyaaN durust kar ke is ko ek achhee taKhleeq meN tabdeel kiyaa jaa sake. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

moHtaram Janab Sarwar A'alam Raz Sarwar SaHib aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

maiN nihayat sharmindah hooN keh aap ke khat^ ka jawaab barwaqt nah de saka. daraSl kuch~ t^abia'at bh~ee nasaazgaar rahee aor dusree t^araf kuch~ daftaree maSrufiyaar gale ka t^aoq banee raheeN. mera wat^eerah hai keh maiN laakh~ Saed-e-sitam haaeY rozgaar rahooN lekin aoqaat-e-kaar meN bh~ee urdu bandh~an aor aek dusree site kee mHafil meN ja baeTh~ta hooN. aor isee bina par do baar apne karobaaree faraaiZ^ se subaqdoosh bh~ee kiya ja chuka hooN. daraSl maiN ne bh~ee aap kee see hee Th~aan lee hai. keh

"raheeN ge shehr-e-nigaar-e-junooN meN ab "Sarwar"
keh is diyaar se achch~a koee diyaar naheeN"

aap ka ma'rooZ^ qabil-e-taqleed hai. sao maiN ne istefadah karte huwe kalam meN tarameem kar deeN haiN. aap kee muHabbat aor murawwat ke liye aap hameshah miree mashkoor raheeN ge.

pas zeyadah kiya likh~ooN keh adab mana' hai!

Wassalam
Muz^affar A Muz^affar

Muzaffar Sahib,

Kia hi achchha ho agar aap tarmeem shudaa ghazal bhi yahaaN paish kar daiN. iss se yaqeenun mujh jaise seekhne waloaN ko faaida ho ga.

mamnoon,
Muhammad Khawar Siddiqui.