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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:41 pm
by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
Sara JabeeN SaHibah aadaab!

kiya kehne waah Ghazal dekh~ kar baRa lit^f aaya. baRee rawanee aor barjastagee se aap ne Haal-e-dil-e-GhamgeeN keh diya hai. aor baRe sadah aor salees rang meN iz^haar kee sae'ee kee hai. bandishooN aor tarakeeb ko qadratee andaaz meN aane diya hai. waah!

meree dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool kijiye!

Wassalam
Muz^affar

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:25 pm
by Star Mind
Saara aapa, aadaab !

kaise mizaaj haiN ?

maashaa Allah ! kyaa hii Khoob Ghazal i'naayat farmaa'ii hai ! poorii ki poorii Ghazal hii Khoob hai ! aur daad Haazir hai ! :) , aur haaN KhuSooSa" aaKhrii 4 asha'aar to be-Had pasand aaye ! un ke liye alag se KhuSooSii daad ! :) . YuuNhi likhtii rahiye ! shukriya

Zia Baloch

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:13 pm
by Shummu
3. main yeh samjhee keh moHabbat ki kashish laayee hai
woh mire pahlu meN aaye thEy dikhawa karne


wah sara sis wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..is sher ne to jaan le li...bahut hi khoob..saari daad pesh hai is sher pe... rose:

shumaila

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:56 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
a'zeezah Sara: salaam!

aap kee Ghazal dekhee. maashaa-Allah aap kee shaa,i'ree nikhar chalee hai aur maiN pehle ke muqaabileh meN bohat behtaree dekh rahaa hooN. yeh aap kee meHnat aur Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb kee rehnumaayee kaa nateejah hai. is lagan aur meHnat ke liYe meree daad qubool keejiYe!
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1. kya Ghazab hai woh lage hum se hi shikwa karne
jin se hum aaye they izhaar-e tamanna karne

achhaa mat^la' hai. daad!
---------------------
2. teeragee chaahiye taaroN se kaho chhup jaayeN
"raat aayee hai miray gham meiN izaafah karne"

she'r Theek hai lekin maZ^moon kamzor lagaa. Khair, kabhee kabhee yooN bhee hotaa hai!
-----------------------------
3. main yeh samjhee keh moHabbat ki kashish laayee hai
woh mire pahlu meN aaye thEy dikhawa karne

:dikhaawaa karnaa: muHaawirah mujh ko bhalaa naheeN lagaa. lekin yeh Sirf meree raaYe hai.
------------------------
4. rung aa jayega phooloN pe fazaaoN meN mahak
aap aayeN tou gulistaaN ka nazara karne

ek meHfil meN chand dostoN ne kahaa hai keh SaHeeH lafz^ :nazzaaraa: hai :nazaaraa: naheeN! lekin yeh baat durust naheeN hai. donoN hee talaffuz^ meN yeh lafz^ musta'mil hai. Ghalib kehte haiN:

jab woh jamaal-e-dilfaroz, Soorat-e-mehr-e-neemroz
aap hee ho nazaaraa soz, pardeh meN muNh chhupaaYe kyoN

i'shrat-e-qatlgah-e-ahl-e-tamannaa mat poochh
e'id-e-nazzaaraa hai shamsheer kaa u'ryaaN honaa

pehele she'r meN :zoe: par tashdeed naheeN hai aur doosre meN tashdeed hai.
--------------------------------
5. sej phooloN kee mubarak ho tumheN ahl-e chaman
hum yahaN aaye hain kaanTon pe guzara karne

she'r yooN to Theek hai lekin maZ^moon tishnah rahaa.
----------------------------
6. Khaar raahoN meN buraayee ne bichhaaye :Sara:
Ghar se hum nikle kabhi kaam jo achcha karne

maqt^a' achhaa hai. daad!
===========================
Ghazal kaa u'meemee raNg pasand aayaa. yooN hee kehtee rahiYe.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:28 am
by muhammad_19k
Salam Sara Ji

daikhiaye is baar mujhe dair ho gayee.

JANAB SARWAR SB, MUZAFAR SB, ZIA BALOCH BALOCH SB AOR SHAMMU SAHIBA aap ki ghazal par apni aaraa likh chukay haiN. ub bhalaa miray pass kia bachaa kehne ko ?

So aik khoobSoorat ghazal par daad qabool kijiaye.

aap ki is ghazal meiN ye walaa sha'er mujhe sab se zyaadaa pasand aayaa,

main yeh samjhee keh moHabbat ki kashish laayee hai
woh mire pahlu meN aaye thEy dikhawa karne


bohat khoob janab.

Allah kare zor e qalam aor zyaadaa,

dua'aa gao,
MUHAMAMD K. SIDDIQUI.

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:17 pm
by sbashwar
:salaam: Sara Sahiba,

Aapki ghazal ke zail ke ash'ar pasand aaye:

1. kya Ghazab hai woh lage hum se hi shikwa karne
jin se hum aaye they izhaar-e tamanna karne

Wah bohat khoob. Mat'la sabse zyada pasand ayaa.

3. main yeh samjhee keh moHabbat ki kashish laayee hai
woh mire pahlu meN aaye thEy dikhawa karne

Sheir achcha hai. Wah


4. rung aa jayega phooloN pe fazaaoN meN mahak
aap aayeN tou gulistaaN ka nazara karne

Sheir pasand ayaa. Misra-e-sani bohat achcha hai. Wah


6. Khaar raahoN meN buraayee ne bichhaaye :Sara:
Ghar se hum nikle kabhi kaam jo achcha karne

Wah.

Meri dili daad aur mubarakbaad qubool farmayega.
Shukria

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 8:01 am
by Anis Hasan
Mohtarma Sara saheba,
Aap ki ghazal achi hai pasand aayee khas taur par teesra shair buhat pasand aaya meri janib say daad qabool kijiyay.
Anis Hasan

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 12:32 pm
by khudrath ali khan
bahut khoob...taba azami bam-e-orooj pur hai....fun apne poore nikhar pur hai...daad qubool farmaein...khudrath