[align=center]yaaraan-e-urdubandhan aadaab!
aek Ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai. jo hamsaayah chaopaal par aek t^arHee mushae'rah meN pesh kar chukaa hooN. yahaaN is bazm meN bhee aap kee nazr karne kaa ishteyaq hai. ummeed hai sama'atooN par GiraaN nah Guzre gee. mulaHiZ^ah farmaiye.
Ghazal
shumaar-e-naawak-e-joor-o-jafaa kiyaa
HiSaab-e-talkhee-e-SubH-o-masaa kiyaa!
faqa^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
fareb-e-AarZu gar ibtedaa hai
to ho gee Justuju kee intehaa kiyaa!
maiN waqf-e-Giryah-e-ranj-e-safar hooN
dikhaooN Zakhm haa-e-dast-o-paa kiya!
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaheed-e-Hasrat-e-naakaam ho jaa
"nah ho marnaa jo jeene kaa mazah kiyaa"
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
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Aek tazah Ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- -
- Posts: 1258
- Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
- Location: London, England
- Contact:
-
Sarwar A. Raz
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
mukarramee Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab!
is se qabl bhee aap kee Ghazal dekhee thee lekin baa-wujood koshish ke waqt naheeN nikaal sakaa. Ghalib kee zameen meN aap kee is Ghazal par to kuchh likhnaa hee hai! mujh ko Ghazal kaa u'moomee raNg achhaa lagaa. aap kee Ghazal meN jo aap kaa t^arz-e-adaa hotaa hai us kee is meN kamee naz^ar aayee. aur shaayad aisaa honaa hee thaa. Ghalib phir Ghalib haiN!
ba-har-Haal ek kaamyaab kaawish par naacheez kee daad qubool farmaa,iYe.
do ek baateN Zehn meN aayeeN so a'rZ^ kiYe detaa hooN. aap tashreeH kar hee deN ge. shukriyah!
------------------------------
shumaar-e-naawak-e-joor-o-jafaa kiyaa
HiSaab-e-talkhee-e-SubH-o-masaa kiyaa!
mat^la' pasand aayaa! waah!
--------------------
faqat^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
aap ne :bandagee: ke ma'nee meN :bandagaanee: baaNdhaa hai. is meN mujh ko kuchh takalluf naz^ar aayaa. mazeed yeh keh aap kis se sawaal kar rahe haiN? aap kee peshaanee kaa daaGh to aap kaa apnaa kiyaa huwaa hai, kisee aur kee a't^aa naheeN hai. so is ko :Silaa: kaise kahaa jaa saktaa hai?
-------------------------------
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
:du,a'a: aur :dawaa: do muKhtalif cheezeN haiN aur donoN se shifaa kee ummeed hotee hai. du,a'a kee naakaamee ko :laa-dawaa: se ta'beer karnaa shaayad is ma'nee meN hai keh :du,a'a: bhee ek qism kee :dawaa: hee hai?
-----------------------------
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
kaun hai yeh :naa-Khudaa:? agar meHboob hai to usee ne to Gham diyaa hai so us se yeh kehnaa keh mujh ko Gham se door rakh a'jeeb saa lagaa. shaayad maiN she'r samajh naheeN sakaa!
----------------------------
fareb-e-AarZu gar ibtedaa hai
to ho gee Justuju kee intehaa kiyaa!
achhaa she'r hai! daad! :ho gee: kee jagah :to phir hai: bhee keh sakte haiN.
---------------------------
maiN waqf-e-Giryah-e-ranj-e-safar hooN
dikhaooN Zakhm haa-e-dast-o-paa kiya!
mu,a'af keejiYe. is she'r meN mujh ko jaZbeh kee shiddat nah naz^ar aayee. paa,ooN to zaKhmee ho sakte haiN aur hote haiN lekin haath? mumkin hai keh aap ne kaaNToN bharee jhaaRiyoN kee raah iKhtiyaar kee ho!
-------------------------
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaayad is meN :typo: hai. aap :Ghamzah-o-naaz: kehnaa chaahate hoN ge. doosraa miSra' halkaa rahaa. yeh meree kam-fehmee ho saktee hai.
--------------------------
shaheed-e-Hasrat-e-naakaam ho jaa
"nah ho marnaa jo jeene kaa mazah kiyaa"
achhee girah lagaayee hai. dil Khush huwaa.
----------------------------
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
chaliYe aap Khush haiN warnah log pardes jaa kar udaas hee rehte haiN!
=================
aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
is se qabl bhee aap kee Ghazal dekhee thee lekin baa-wujood koshish ke waqt naheeN nikaal sakaa. Ghalib kee zameen meN aap kee is Ghazal par to kuchh likhnaa hee hai! mujh ko Ghazal kaa u'moomee raNg achhaa lagaa. aap kee Ghazal meN jo aap kaa t^arz-e-adaa hotaa hai us kee is meN kamee naz^ar aayee. aur shaayad aisaa honaa hee thaa. Ghalib phir Ghalib haiN!
ba-har-Haal ek kaamyaab kaawish par naacheez kee daad qubool farmaa,iYe.
do ek baateN Zehn meN aayeeN so a'rZ^ kiYe detaa hooN. aap tashreeH kar hee deN ge. shukriyah!
------------------------------
shumaar-e-naawak-e-joor-o-jafaa kiyaa
HiSaab-e-talkhee-e-SubH-o-masaa kiyaa!
mat^la' pasand aayaa! waah!
--------------------
faqat^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
aap ne :bandagee: ke ma'nee meN :bandagaanee: baaNdhaa hai. is meN mujh ko kuchh takalluf naz^ar aayaa. mazeed yeh keh aap kis se sawaal kar rahe haiN? aap kee peshaanee kaa daaGh to aap kaa apnaa kiyaa huwaa hai, kisee aur kee a't^aa naheeN hai. so is ko :Silaa: kaise kahaa jaa saktaa hai?
-------------------------------
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
:du,a'a: aur :dawaa: do muKhtalif cheezeN haiN aur donoN se shifaa kee ummeed hotee hai. du,a'a kee naakaamee ko :laa-dawaa: se ta'beer karnaa shaayad is ma'nee meN hai keh :du,a'a: bhee ek qism kee :dawaa: hee hai?
-----------------------------
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
kaun hai yeh :naa-Khudaa:? agar meHboob hai to usee ne to Gham diyaa hai so us se yeh kehnaa keh mujh ko Gham se door rakh a'jeeb saa lagaa. shaayad maiN she'r samajh naheeN sakaa!
----------------------------
fareb-e-AarZu gar ibtedaa hai
to ho gee Justuju kee intehaa kiyaa!
achhaa she'r hai! daad! :ho gee: kee jagah :to phir hai: bhee keh sakte haiN.
---------------------------
maiN waqf-e-Giryah-e-ranj-e-safar hooN
dikhaooN Zakhm haa-e-dast-o-paa kiya!
mu,a'af keejiYe. is she'r meN mujh ko jaZbeh kee shiddat nah naz^ar aayee. paa,ooN to zaKhmee ho sakte haiN aur hote haiN lekin haath? mumkin hai keh aap ne kaaNToN bharee jhaaRiyoN kee raah iKhtiyaar kee ho!
-------------------------
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaayad is meN :typo: hai. aap :Ghamzah-o-naaz: kehnaa chaahate hoN ge. doosraa miSra' halkaa rahaa. yeh meree kam-fehmee ho saktee hai.
--------------------------
shaheed-e-Hasrat-e-naakaam ho jaa
"nah ho marnaa jo jeene kaa mazah kiyaa"
achhee girah lagaayee hai. dil Khush huwaa.
----------------------------
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
chaliYe aap Khush haiN warnah log pardes jaa kar udaas hee rehte haiN!
=================
aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- -
- Posts: 1258
- Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
- Location: London, England
- Contact:
Sarwar Raz wrote:mukarramee Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab!
is se qabl bhee aap kee Ghazal dekhee thee lekin baa-wujood koshish ke waqt naheeN nikaal sakaa. Ghalib kee zameen meN aap kee is Ghazal par to kuchh likhnaa hee hai! mujh ko Ghazal kaa u'moomee raNg achhaa lagaa. aap kee Ghazal meN jo aap kaa t^arz-e-adaa hotaa hai us kee is meN kamee naz^ar aayee. aur shaayad aisaa honaa hee thaa. Ghalib phir Ghalib haiN!
ba-har-Haal ek kaamyaab kaawish par naacheez kee daad qubool farmaa,iYe.
do ek baateN Zehn meN aayeeN so a'rZ^ kiYe detaa hooN. aap tashreeH kar hee deN ge. shukriyah!
------------------------------
shumaar-e-naawak-e-joor-o-jafaa kiyaa
HiSaab-e-talkhee-e-SubH-o-masaa kiyaa!
mat^la' pasand aayaa! waah!
--------------------
faqat^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
aap ne :bandagee: ke ma'nee meN :bandagaanee: baaNdhaa hai. is meN mujh ko kuchh takalluf naz^ar aayaa. mazeed yeh keh aap kis se sawaal kar rahe haiN? aap kee peshaanee kaa daaGh to aap kaa apnaa kiyaa huwaa hai, kisee aur kee a't^aa naheeN hai. so is ko :Silaa: kaise kahaa jaa saktaa hai?
-------------------------------
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
:du,a'a: aur :dawaa: do muKhtalif cheezeN haiN aur donoN se shifaa kee ummeed hotee hai. du,a'a kee naakaamee ko :laa-dawaa: se ta'beer karnaa shaayad is ma'nee meN hai keh :du,a'a: bhee ek qism kee :dawaa: hee hai?
-----------------------------
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
kaun hai yeh :naa-Khudaa:? agar meHboob hai to usee ne to Gham diyaa hai so us se yeh kehnaa keh mujh ko Gham se door rakh a'jeeb saa lagaa. shaayad maiN she'r samajh naheeN sakaa!
----------------------------
fareb-e-AarZu gar ibtedaa hai
to ho gee Justuju kee intehaa kiyaa!
achhaa she'r hai! daad! :ho gee: kee jagah :to phir hai: bhee keh sakte haiN.
---------------------------
maiN waqf-e-Giryah-e-ranj-e-safar hooN
dikhaooN Zakhm haa-e-dast-o-paa kiya!
mu,a'af keejiYe. is she'r meN mujh ko jaZbeh kee shiddat nah naz^ar aayee. paa,ooN to zaKhmee ho sakte haiN aur hote haiN lekin haath? mumkin hai keh aap ne kaaNToN bharee jhaaRiyoN kee raah iKhtiyaar kee ho!
-------------------------
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaayad is meN :typo: hai. aap :Ghamzah-o-naaz: kehnaa chaahate hoN ge. doosraa miSra' halkaa rahaa. yeh meree kam-fehmee ho saktee hai.
--------------------------
shaheed-e-Hasrat-e-naakaam ho jaa
"nah ho marnaa jo jeene kaa mazah kiyaa"
achhee girah lagaayee hai. dil Khush huwaa.
----------------------------
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
chaliYe aap Khush haiN warnah log pardes jaa kar udaas hee rehte haiN!
=================
aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Mukarram Janaab Sarwar A'alam Raz Sarwar SaaHib aadaab-o-tasleemaat!
meree adnaa see koshish ko aap ne qaabil-e-tabSirah-o-tanqeed kheyaal kiyaa aor apnee maSrufiyaat ke hote huwe bhee SalaaH-o-mashwarah dene meN taakheer nah farmaee. aap kaa yeh iqdaam sabhee Aarakeen-e-majlis ke liye qaabil-e-qadr hai. Allah aap ko is kaar-e-khaer ke liye nek jazaa se nawaze Aameen!
meree she'eree tarbiyat DeeDh do saal qabl inheeN adabee chaopalooN se shuru' hoee thee. aor hunooZ jaaree hai. is silsilah meN jin moa'tabar hastiyooN kaa naam liyaa jaa saktaa hai. un meN aap kaa ism-e-Giraamee sar-e-fehrist hai.
maiN ne in adabee chaopalooN kee afadiyat aor Z^arurat se hameshah ittefaaq kiyaa hai. aor kabhee bhee in kee afadiyat kaa munkar nah huwaa.
aaj ke daor meN jahaaN insaan aek purzah-e-masheen kee manand har lamHah maSroof-e-a'amal hai. jahaaN adabee teHqeeqaat aor tanqeedee mut^aalea'aat kaa sha'oor-o-idraak baqadr-e-badaam reh geyaa ho. wahaaN Zubaan-o-bayaan aor usloob-o-andaaz kee GuththiyaaN suljhaana mushkil tareen koshish taSawwur kee jatee hai. aese meN aap aese naabGhah-e-roozgaar kaa muyassir honaa Ghaneemat se kam naheeN. Aap ke fikr-o-naz^ar meN qudrat ne Gehree baSeerat rakhee hai. aap takhleeqkaar kee takhleeq ko us ke Zaaviyah-e-nigaah se bhee dekhne kee koshish karte haiN aor yooN khaaliq-e-takhleeq kee nigaarish ko pasand farmate huwe nah Sirf himmat afzaaee farmate haiN balkeh use nae'ee adabee tawaqua'aat-o-imkaanaat se bhee hamkinaar kar dete haiN.
aap farmate haiN.
Quote
faqat^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
aap ne :bandagee: ke ma'nee meN :bandagaanee: baaNdhaa hai. is meN mujh ko kuchh takalluf naz^ar aayaa. mazeed yeh keh aap kis se sawaal kar rahe haiN? aap kee peshaanee kaa daaGh to aap kaa apnaa kiyaa huwaa hai, kisee aur kee a't^aa naheeN hai. so is ko :Silaa: kaise kahaa jaa saktaa hai?
ya'nee mujhe daaGh-e-sajdah ke siwaa bandaganee yaa i'badat meN kuch nah milaa aor mujhe ummeed Zeyadah kee thee. aor mila hai to kiyaa. Sirf aek daaGh-e-sajdah. ab maiN meHboob se poochtaa hooN keh kiyaa yahee Silaa hai sajdah reezee kaa yaa bandaganee ka?
Quote
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
:du,a'a: aur :dawaa: do muKhtalif cheezeN haiN aur donoN se shifaa kee ummeed hotee hai. du,a'a kee naakaamee ko :laa-dawaa: se ta'beer karnaa shaayad is ma'nee meN hai keh :du,a'a: bhee ek qism kee :dawaa: hee hai?
-----------------------------
meree muraad yeh hai keh mujhe dard-e-jigar laaHiq hai.......aor maiN is ke khaatimah ke liye du'aeeN kartaa hooN.....lekin dua'aa qubool naheeN hotee. yahaaN maZ^moon waSeeH ho geyaa hai keh dua'aa kaargar is liye naheeN hotee keh maraa dard laa dawaa hai. yeh kisee ke bas kaa rooG naheeN rahaa. qudrat bhee sipar andaaZ ho gaee hai.....ya'nee aesaa laa dawaa hai keh qudrat bhee is kaa Hal naheeN kar sakee. yahee wajah hai keh meree dua'aa kaargar naheeN hotee. aor meraa dard naheeN jataa.
Quote
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
kaun hai yeh :naa-Khudaa:? agar meHboob hai to usee ne to Gham diyaa hai so us se yeh kehnaa keh mujh ko Gham se door rakh a'jeeb saa lagaa. shaayad maiN she'r samajh naheeN sakaa!
naa khudaa meHboob hee hai. aap ne she'er ko durust samjhaa hai. koee naheeN chahataa keh keh karam kee jagah use Gham-o-andoh mile. is liye meHboob se darkhuwaast guzaar hooN keh mujhe Gham-o-muSeebat se door rakh.
Quote
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaayad is meN :typo: hai. aap :Ghamzah-o-naaz: kehnaa chaahate hoN ge. doosraa miSra' halkaa rahaa. yeh meree kam-fehmee ho saktee hai.
jee yeh typo ho gaee hai. "Ghamzah-o-naaz" durust hai. nishaandahee kaa shukriyah!
Quote
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
chaliYe aap Khush haiN warnah log pardes jaa kar udaas hee rehte haiN!
=================
mujhe bhee ta'ajub hai. keh looG pardees aakar Ghamgeen ho jate haiN. aor meree kaefiyat mukhtalif kiyooN hai. jawaab yahee ho saktaa hai keh. " mujhe raas aagaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa"
khush raheeN
Zeyaadah Hadd-e-adab!
Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
Re: Aek tazah Ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
BEHAD KHOOBSURAT KALAM HAI AAP KA MUZAFFAR JI MERI AUR SE MUBAARAKBAD KABOOL KARENMuzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:[align=center]yaaraan-e-urdubandhan aadaab!
aek Ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai. jo hamsaayah chaopaal par aek t^arHee mushae'rah meN pesh kar chukaa hooN. yahaaN is bazm meN bhee aap kee nazr karne kaa ishteyaq hai. ummeed hai sama'atooN par GiraaN nah Guzre gee. mulaHiZ^ah farmaiye.
Ghazal
shumaar-e-naawak-e-joor-o-jafaa kiyaa
HiSaab-e-talkhee-e-SubH-o-masaa kiyaa!
faqa^ ek daaGh-e-sajdah hai jabeeN par
yahee hai bandaganee kaa Silaa kiyaa!
dua'aa kiyooN kaargar hotee naheeN hai
miraa dard-e-jigar hai laa dawaa kiyaa!
safeenah door rakh gardaab-e-Gham se
Dabo de gaa hameeN aeY naa khudaa kiyaa!
fareb-e-AarZu gar ibtedaa hai
to ho gee Justuju kee intehaa kiyaa!
maiN waqf-e-Giryah-e-ranj-e-safar hooN
dikhaooN Zakhm haa-e-dast-o-paa kiya!
Qateel-e-Ghamzah-e-naaz-e-butaaN hooN
mere barah meN mujh se poochnaa kiya!
shaheed-e-Hasrat-e-naakaam ho jaa
"nah ho marnaa jo jeene kaa mazah kiyaa"
muz^affar shaad hooN pardees aa kar
mujhe raas aa gaee aab-o-hawaa kiyaa!
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
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