taazah ghazal

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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tahira Masood
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taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

salaam

aik taazah ghazal aap ki nazr.
aara ki mutaZir rehoN gee.

wassalam


justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

bashr-e-khaaki ko bakhshaa yeh aizaaz
raabtay aasmaan rakhtaa hai

tund khuee maiN bhool jaaey bashar
jaan hai tau jehaan rakhtaa hai

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

aadmi hai wahi Khudaa ko pasand
jo keh achaa gumaan rakhtaa hai

faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

gham ki shorish main bhi yeh mard-e-Haq
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai


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Last edited by tahira Masood on Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.
live and let live

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munir-armaan-nasimi
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Mohtarma Tahira Masood Saahiba,

Aapki aamad faal-e-nek hai hamare 'urdubandhan' ke liye.. aap ki ghazal bohat dilkush hai, pasand aayi. Ghazal ke wazn, behr ke baare main meri jaankari sifar hai phir bhi do ek baat jo mujhe aapki ghazal main lagi wohh likh deta hoon... Khata Gunaah Muaf Hum DeewaanoN ka........!!

justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

matla to bohat khoob hai magar misra-e-sani main mujhe "insaaN mahaaN" ek saath.... achcha nahin lag raha hai. Kya koi aur tarteeb nahin ho sakti hai???

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Sher bohat pyara hai bas typo ho gaya hai... insaaN ki jagah 'isnaaN' ho gaya hai... waise hamare India main hindi main isnaaN - Ghusal karne ko, Nahane ko kehte hain :lol:

faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

Sher haqeequat ke qareeb hai magar Moumeen kabhi Shaahi aan-baan nahin rakhte aur na Ro'ab dikhaate hain. Aazeezi inksaari hi unka shewa hai.

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai

Puri ghazal ki jaan hai yeh Maqtaa... Masha'Allah bohat pyara sher ban gaya hai. Daad qobol kiziye.

Armaan
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar »

moHtarmah T^ahirah Masa'ood SaaHibah tasleemaat! :-)

mashAllah Aap ke kalam meN din bah din nikhaar aor mazeed pukhtagee aatee jaa rahee hai. is kaa Saaf mat^lab yeh huwa keh aap mashq-e-sukhan se wabastah haiN. aor Urdu zabaan-o-bayaan se apnaa rishtah jooRe huwe haiN. Allah kare keh aesaa hee ho.

Ghazal dekhne kee taofeeq milee kiya kehne sabhee asha'aar meHnat-o-zaoq se kahe gae haiN. meree jaanib se dilee daad qubool keejiye. chand aek baateeN zehn meN haiN so aap kee khidmat meN daoraan-e-mut^ala'ah-e-Ghazal rakhooN gaa.

justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah khub kaha hai.
=======================

yahaN aek baat qaabil-e-Ghaor hai. keh faarsee kee tarakeeb meN a'aam t^aor par :aa'laan-e-noon: ko jaai'ez naheeN samjhaa jataa. jaesa keh aap ke miSra'-e-awwal meN :justuju-e-jahan: se z^aahir hai. maiN ne a'aam t^aor par is liye kaha hai keh Jigar Muradabadi saaHib ne apnee Ghazal ke maqat^a' meN "teraa deewaanah Ghareeb jigar fakhr-e-Hindustan hai peyaare" yahaN unhooN ne :fakhr-e-Hindustaan: kee tarkeeb baandh kar neeche Haashiyah meN likh chooRa hai. keh maiN is aa'laan-e-noon ko jaai'z samajhtaa hooN. ya'nee woh yeh samajhte haiN keh ise jaai'z naheeN samjhaa jata lekin woh apne :ijtihaad: se kaam lete huwe ise jaai'ez samajhte haiN. khaer!

dusre miSra' meN lafz^ :mahaan: Hindee ka hai. jo keh Z^aroorat-e-she'er ke liye to durust sahee lekin Quwaai'd kee rooH se she'er meN Ghaer maozooN samjhaa jae gaa. yooN to she'er Theek hee hai. lekin aese alfaaz^ jo hunooZ Urdu Zaban meN puree t^raH raai'j naheeN ho sake haiN. un se gurez behtar hai.
=============================

khaak kaa putlaa aur yeh aizaaz
raabtay aasmaan rakhtaa hai

yahaN :putlaa: kaa :alif: dab geya hai. jis kee wajah se miSra' ka Husn baaqi naheeN raha. aor dusree baat yeh keh Aasmaan raabit^eY rakhnaa muHaawirah naheeN. aor :aasmaan: ke ba'd lafz^ :par: kee kami bhee meHsoos ho rahee hai.
=============================

tund khuee maiN bhool jaaey bashar
jaan hai tau jehaan rakhtaa hai

Kiya kehne Waah Waah Waah Bohot khoob Waah Waah! HaZ^rat-e-RaZ^a AHmad Khan Barelawi RH ke miSra' "jaan hai to jahan hai" ko bohot khubSuratee se pesh kiya hai. Waah!
============================

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah! neeche ke miSra' meN :fanee: kee :yeh: dab gaee hai. so :fanee: ko :a'araZ^ee: kar deeN. to Theek ho gaa. ya'nee "a'araZ^ee jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai.
===========================

aadmi hai wahi Khudaa ko pasand
jo keh achaa gumaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Bohot khoob!

faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

Kiya kehne Waah! ya'nee faqr-o-faaqah meN bhee us kee shaahanah shaan baan hee qaae'im rehtee hai. Waah! ya'nee donooN SuratooN meN woh shaan baan rakhta hai. Aameeree meN bhee aor Ghareebee meN bhee!
==========================

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah! agarcheh yeh musalsal andaaz kee Ghazal hai. lekin baa eeN hamah is she'er ko agar infaradee t^aor par paRha jaae to yeh pata naheeN chalta keh kaon :shukr wird-e-Zabaan: rakhta hai. agarcheh aap kee muraad mumin ya'nee SaaHib-e-eemaan shakhS muraad hai. lekin yeh WaZ^aHat miSra' meN az khud maojood hona laaZamee hai. so yeh Surat ho saktee hai.
"Gham kee shaorish meN bhee yeh mard-e-HaQ"
=============================

meree jaanib se is Ghazal par dilee kee gehraai'yooN se daad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye. meHfil meN kalam a't^aa farmaane par bhee mamnoon hooN.
Wassalam
Muzaffar AHmad Muzaffar
afzalshah
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by afzalshah »

tahira Masood wrote:salaam

aik taazah ghazal aap ki nazr.
aara ki mutaZir rehoN gee.

wassalam


justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

khaak kaa putlaa aur yeh aizaaz
raabtay aasmaan rakhtaa hai

tund khuee maiN bhool jaaey bashar
jaan hai tau jehaan rakhtaa hai

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai



faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai



muhatarmah tahira masood sahibah
taslimaat!
kia kehnay
bohut khoob
aadmi hai wahi Khudaa ko pasand
jo keh achaa gumaan rakhtaa hai

bohut achi ghazal paRhnay ko milii

dhairoN daad haazir hay

qubool kijiay

andaaz bhi khoob hay
aor
bayaan bhi khoob hay

mukhlis
afzal shah
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sbashwar
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by sbashwar »

Mohtarama Tahira Masood Sahiba
:salaam:

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Ek achchi koshish aapne ki hai.
Muzaffar Saheb ka tabsira bhi pasand ayaa.

Meri daad aur mubarakbaad qubool farmayega.

Mukhlis
Salem Bashwar
سالم احمد باشوار
tahira Masood
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

munir-armaan-nasimi wrote:Mohtarma Tahira Masood Saahiba,

Aapki aamad faal-e-nek hai hamare 'urdubandhan' ke liye.. aap ki ghazal bohat dilkush hai, pasand aayi. Ghazal ke wazn, behr ke baare main meri jaankari sifar hai phir bhi do ek baat jo mujhe aapki ghazal main lagi wohh likh deta hoon... Khata Gunaah Muaf Hum DeewaanoN ka........!!

justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

matla to bohat khoob hai magar misra-e-sani main mujhe "insaaN mahaaN" ek saath.... achcha nahin lag raha hai. Kya koi aur tarteeb nahin ho sakti hai???

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Sher bohat pyara hai bas typo ho gaya hai... insaaN ki jagah 'isnaaN' ho gaya hai... waise hamare India main hindi main isnaaN - Ghusal karne ko, Nahane ko kehte hain :lol:

faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

Sher haqeequat ke qareeb hai magar Moumeen kabhi Shaahi aan-baan nahin rakhte aur na Ro'ab dikhaate hain. Aazeezi inksaari hi unka shewa hai.

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai

Puri ghazal ki jaan hai yeh Maqtaa... Masha'Allah bohat pyara sher ban gaya hai. Daad qobol kiziye.

Armaan
Shukeriyah Armaan Saheb

salaam

aap kaa tabSirah pasand aaya

. ghazal pasand karne kaa shukeriyah

typo per ma'zerat khawaah hoN Inshallah theek kerdoNgi

aayndah bi apni qeemati raaey se nawaazte rehiyee gaa
live and let live

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tahira Masood
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:moHtarmah T^ahirah Masa'ood SaaHibah tasleemaat! :-)

mashAllah Aap ke kalam meN din bah din nikhaar aor mazeed pukhtagee aatee jaa rahee hai. is kaa Saaf mat^lab yeh huwa keh aap mashq-e-sukhan se wabastah haiN. aor Urdu zabaan-o-bayaan se apnaa rishtah jooRe huwe haiN. Allah kare keh aesaa hee ho.

Ghazal dekhne kee taofeeq milee kiya kehne sabhee asha'aar meHnat-o-zaoq se kahe gae haiN. meree jaanib se dilee daad qubool keejiye. chand aek baateeN zehn meN haiN so aap kee khidmat meN daoraan-e-mut^ala'ah-e-Ghazal rakhooN gaa.

justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah khub kaha hai.
=======================

yahaN aek baat qaabil-e-Ghaor hai. keh faarsee kee tarakeeb meN a'aam t^aor par :aa'laan-e-noon: ko jaai'ez naheeN samjhaa jataa. jaesa keh aap ke miSra'-e-awwal meN :justuju-e-jahan: se z^aahir hai. maiN ne a'aam t^aor par is liye kaha hai keh Jigar Muradabadi saaHib ne apnee Ghazal ke maqat^a' meN "teraa deewaanah Ghareeb jigar fakhr-e-Hindustan hai peyaare" yahaN unhooN ne :fakhr-e-Hindustaan: kee tarkeeb baandh kar neeche Haashiyah meN likh chooRa hai. keh maiN is aa'laan-e-noon ko jaai'z samajhtaa hooN. ya'nee woh yeh samajhte haiN keh ise jaai'z naheeN samjhaa jata lekin woh apne :ijtihaad: se kaam lete huwe ise jaai'ez samajhte haiN. khaer!

dusre miSra' meN lafz^ :mahaan: Hindee ka hai. jo keh Z^aroorat-e-she'er ke liye to durust sahee lekin Quwaai'd kee rooH se she'er meN Ghaer maozooN samjhaa jae gaa. yooN to she'er Theek hee hai. lekin aese alfaaz^ jo hunooZ Urdu Zaban meN puree t^raH raai'j naheeN ho sake haiN. un se gurez behtar hai.


Janaab Muzaffar bha'ee

is aalimanah tabsire per mamnoon hioN

aap kaa ilm kaafee wasee hai urdu shaairee k hawaale se

Mashallah

baat tau saheeh fermaa'ee magar jab Jigar Saheb jaise bare shaair ne khud ko yeh shaulat jaaiz fermaaee tau ham jasie aam insaan k liye kayaa ta'arruZ hai :-)


=============================

khaak kaa putlaa aur yeh aizaaz
raabtay aasmaan rakhtaa hai

yahaN :putlaa: kaa :alif: dab geya hai. jis kee wajah se miSra' ka Husn baaqi naheeN raha. aor dusree baat yeh keh Aasmaan raabit^eY rakhnaa muHaawirah naheeN. aor :aasmaan: ke ba'd lafz^ :par: kee kami bhee meHsoos ho rahee hai.

shukeryah is nishaadahi k liye
maine isko badal diaa hai
beraa-e-mehrbaani check ker laiN

=============================



tund khuee maiN bhool jaaey bashar
jaan hai tau jehaan rakhtaa hai

Kiya kehne Waah Waah Waah Bohot khoob Waah Waah! HaZ^rat-e-RaZ^a AHmad Khan Barelawi RH ke miSra' "jaan hai to jahan hai" ko bohot khubSuratee se pesh kiya hai. Waah!

bohat bohat shukeriyah

============================

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah! neeche ke miSra' meN :fanee: kee :yeh: dab gaee hai. so :fanee: ko :a'araZ^ee: kar deeN. to Theek ho gaa. ya'nee "a'araZ^ee jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai.

jism-o-jaan k liye "aarZi" mujhay faSeeH nahin lagtaa

khair sochti hoN koee badal
:-k


===========================

aadmi hai wahi Khudaa ko pasand
jo keh achaa gumaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Bohot khoob!

faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

Kiya kehne Waah! ya'nee faqr-o-faaqah meN bhee us kee shaahanah shaan baan hee qaae'im rehtee hai. Waah! ya'nee donooN SuratooN meN woh shaan baan rakhta hai. Aameeree meN bhee aor Ghareebee meN bhee!

Jazaakomullah :rose
==========================

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai

Waah Waah! agarcheh yeh musalsal andaaz kee Ghazal hai. lekin baa eeN hamah is she'er ko agar infaradee t^aor par paRha jaae to yeh pata naheeN chalta keh kaon :shukr wird-e-Zabaan: rakhta hai. agarcheh aap kee muraad mumin ya'nee SaaHib-e-eemaan shakhS muraad hai. lekin yeh WaZ^aHat miSra' meN az khud maojood hona laaZamee hai. so yeh Surat ho saktee hai.
"Gham kee shaorish meN bhee yeh mard-e-HaQ"

SaHeeH fermaaya aap ne
=============================

meree jaanib se is Ghazal par dilee kee gehraai'yooN se daad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye. meHfil meN kalam a't^aa farmaane par bhee mamnoon hooN.
Wassalam
Muzaffar AHmad Muzaffar


janaab meri jaanib se bhi is tafseeli tabSire aur tajaaweezper dilee shukeriyah qabuul fermaain [/b]
[/color]
live and let live

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tahira Masood
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

afzalshah wrote:
tahira Masood wrote:salaam

aik taazah ghazal aap ki nazr.
aara ki mutaZir rehoN gee.

wassalam


justju-e-jehaan rakhtaa hai
Azm insaaN mahaan rakhtaa hai

khaak kaa putlaa aur yeh aizaaz
raabtay aasmaan rakhtaa hai

tund khuee maiN bhool jaaey bashar
jaan hai tau jehaan rakhtaa hai

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai



faqr maiN bhi hai ro'ab momin kaa
shaahi yeh aan baan rakhtaa hai

gham ki shorish ho yaa dukhoN kaa hujoom
shukr wird-e-zabaan rakhtaa hai



muhatarmah tahira masood sahibah
taslimaat!
kia kehnay
bohut khoob
aadmi hai wahi Khudaa ko pasand
jo keh achaa gumaan rakhtaa hai

bohut achi ghazal paRhnay ko milii

dhairoN daad haazir hay

qubool kijiay

andaaz bhi khoob hay
aor
bayaan bhi khoob hay

mukhlis
afzal shah

bohat bohat shukeriyaH Afzal Saheb

maiN aap k in qahsaasat k liye teh-e-dilse mamnoon hoN

aayndah bhi apni qeemati raaey se nawaazte rehiye gaa

khush rehaiN
live and let live

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tahira Masood
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

sbashwar wrote:Mohtarama Tahira Masood Sahiba
:salaam:

bhool jaata hai josh maiN isnaaN
faani woh jism-o-jaan rakhtaa hai

Ek achchi koshish aapne ki hai.
Muzaffar Saheb ka tabsira bhi pasand ayaa.

Meri daad aur mubarakbaad qubool farmayega.

Mukhlis
Salem Bashwar
mohteram
Ghazal ko seraahen kaa bohat bohat shuekriyah

aur mashere kaa bhi

Jazaak Allah
live and let live

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haamidbaaqri
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by haamidbaaqri »

Assalaam o alaikum
behan tahira masood saahibah

aapki is ghazal per hum pehlay bhi kisee mehfil meiN daad day chukay haiN.

yahaaN dobaarah daad haazir kar rahay haiN.

ahbaab kay tabcray bahut dilchasp rahay aapki ghazal per.

allah(sbhnwt)karay zory qalam aur ziyaadah

aapkka bhaaii
haamid
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
tahira Masood
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Re: taazah ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

haamidbaaqri wrote:Assalaam o alaikum
behan tahira masood saahibah

aapki is ghazal per hum pehlay bhi kisee mehfil meiN daad day chukay haiN.

yahaaN dobaarah daad haazir kar rahay haiN.

ahbaab kay tabcray bahut dilchasp rahay aapki ghazal per.

allah(sbhnwt)karay zory qalam aur ziyaadah

aapkka bhaaii
haamid

bohat bohat shukeriyah hamid bha'ee

khush rehaiN
live and let live

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