Omar Khaiyaam kii rubaa'ii aur mera filbadi manzoom tarjumah

[Hashmat Usmani]

mera fil-badii manzoom tarjumah:

wa_Alllah! karuuN maiN roz ba shab tauba
bas, az jaam-e-pyaala-e-laba_lab tauba
us waqt ki jab ho gul-e-rangiiN pe nazar
mausam-e-gul meN hai tauba se, yaa Rab! tauba!!!

shukria

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Saara,

aapkii pasandeedgii kaa shukria bahot bahot. mera dil karta hai ki maiN Omar Khaiyaam ke silsile se ek "HAFTA" manaauuN yahaaN is taKhtii-e-paiGhaam par. maiN ne kaafii mavaad bhii yakja kar liyaa hai...agar aapkii ijaazat shaamil-e-Haal ho to maiN yeh silsila shur'uu kar duN...shukria.

Hashmat

[najma]

baradaram!
rubaa,ee ka rubaa,ee meiN tarjuma karna ,achalaga.auzaan ziyada naheeN jaantii.
lekin ye mushkil sinfhay.aap ki kawish pasand aaee.
daad qubool kijiye

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Najma saaHiba,

aapkii taHreer paRh kar baRii Khushii huii aur aapkii is Hausalah_afzaaii ka shukria.

dar asl, mujhe bhii koii 'ilm nahiiN ki rubaa'iiyaat kii haiyat aur avzaan kia hote haiN...maiN ne bas satar ba satar tarjumah kar diyaa.

shukria ek baar phir se aapkaa.

Hashmat

[Sarwar A. Raz]

mukarramee Hashmat SaaHeb: aadaab!

rakh`iyo Ghalib mujh`e is talKh-nawaayee se mu,a'af
aaj kuch` dard mire dil meN siwaa hotaa hai!
-----------------
har roz bar-aanam keh kunam shab taubah
az jaam-o-piyaalah-e-labaalab taubah
aknooN keh raseed waqt-e-gul, taubah kujaa-ast?
dar mausam-e-gul za taubah yaa-Rab taubah!

aap ne Umar Khayyaam kee is rubaa,e'e kaa tarjumah yooN kiyaa hai, aur woh bh`ee :fil-badii:! (SaHeeH lafz^ :fil-badeeh: hai)!!

wa_Alllah! karuuN maiN roz ba shab tauba
bas, az jaam-e-pyaala-e-laba_lab tauba
us waqt ki jab ho gul-e-rangiiN pe nazar
mausam-e-gul meN hai tauba se, yaa Rab! tauba!!!

yeh "tarjumah"dekh` kar maiN intihaayee Hairat kaa shikaar huwaa! ph`ir jab Najma SaaHebah ke jawaab-e-Khat^ meN aap kaa yeh e'tiraaf naz^ar se guZraa keh "dar asl, mujhe bhii koii 'ilm nahiiN ki rubaa'iiyaat kii haiyat aur avzaan kia hote haiN...maiN ne bas satar ba satar tarjumah kar diyaa" to Hairat ke saath` afsos bh`ee shaamil ho gayaa!

agar aap ne rubaa,e'e ke rumooz aur auzaan se waaqifiyyat baham poNhchaayee hotee aur is beHad mushkil Sinf-e-suKhan meN fikr bh`ee kee hotee to aap kee yeh koshish shaayad qaabil-e-e'tinaa maanee jaatee. maujoodah Soorat-e-Haal to yeh hai keh:

naat^iqah sar-ba-girebaaN hai, ise kyaa kahiYe?

aap to maashaa-Allah shaai'r haiN. agar Umar Khayyaam kaa doosraa miSra' rubaa,e'e ke wazn meN hai (aur yaqeena" hai!) to :bas: ke iZ^aafeh se yeh Khaarij az wazn naheeN ho jaaYe gaa? ph`ir aap ke is :tarjumah: kee kyaa Haiciyyat reh gayee? aap ke is tarjumeh meN aur bh`ee Ghalat^iyaaN haiN. wazn ke i'laavah, micaal ke t^aur par yeh :roz ba shab: kyaa hotaa hai? yooN bh`ee aap kaa pehlaa miSra' Khayyaam ke pehle miSre' kaa tarjumah naheeN hai!

guZaarish hai keh rubaa,e'e kee fikr abh`ee nah kareN. pehle is kaa i'lm HaaSil kar leejiYe to behtar ho gaa. mujh` ko i'lm hai keh aap ko meree baateN bohat naa-gawaar guZreN gee. mushkil yeh hai keh Urdu meHfiloN meN :waah, waah: karne waale to beshumaar haiN lekin belaag SaHeeH baat karne waaloN kee bohat kamee hai. mujh` ko Najma SaaHebah kee teHreer se baRee maayoosee huyee. agar un jaise ashKhaaS bh`ee aisee "siyaasat" barteN ge to hamaaraa aur Urdu donoN kaa Allah hee Haafiz^ hai!

is teHreer se aap kee dil-aazaaree maqSood naheeN hai bal.k Sirf iz^haar-e-waaqia' manz^oor hai. Saaf-goyee ke liYe ma'Zirat-Khwaah hooN!

apne bh`ee Khafaa mujh` se haiN, begaane bh`ee naa-Khush
maiN zehr-e-halaahal ko kabh`ee keh nah sakaa qand!

dua'a-go

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[Hashmat Usmani]

mukarramee Hashmat SaaHeb: aadaab!

rakh`iyo Ghalib mujh`e is talKh-nawaayee se mu,a'af
aaj kuch` dard mire dil meN siwaa hotaa hai!

salaam moHtaram Sarwar saaHib,

jii, zaroor kahiiye jo baat jaaiz hai...maiN aapkaa shukr_guzaar huuNga.

har roz bar-aanam keh kunam shab taubah
az jaam-o-piyaalah-e-labaalab taubah
aknooN keh raseed waqt-e-gul, taubah kujaa-ast?
dar mausam-e-gul za taubah yaa-Rab taubah!

roman rasm_ul_Khat meN qalam_band karne ke liye aapkaa shukria.

aap ne Umar Khayyaam kee is rubaa,e'e kaa tarjumah yooN kiyaa hai, aur woh bh`ee :fil-badii:! (SaHeeH lafz^ :fil-badeeh: hai)!!

saHeeH lafz se aagaah karne ke liye maiN aapkaa mutashakkir huN.

wa_Alllah! karuuN maiN roz ba shab tauba
bas, az jaam-e-pyaala-e-laba_lab tauba
us waqt ki jab ho gul-e-rangiiN pe nazar
mausam-e-gul meN hai tauba se, yaa Rab! tauba!!!

yeh "tarjumah"dekh` kar maiN intihaayee Hairat kaa shikaar huwaa! ph`ir jab Najma SaaHebah ke jawaab-e-Khat^ meN aap kaa yeh e'tiraaf naz^ar se guZraa keh "dar asl, mujhe bhii koii 'ilm nahiiN ki rubaa'iiyaat kii haiyat aur avzaan kia hote haiN...maiN ne bas satar ba satar tarjumah kar diyaa" to Hairat ke saath` afsos bh`ee shaamil ho gayaa!

agar aap ne rubaa,e'e ke rumooz aur auzaan se waaqifiyyat baham poNhchaayee hotee aur is beHad mushkil Sinf-e-suKhan meN fikr bh`ee kee hotee to aap kee yeh koshish shaayad qaabil-e-e'tinaa maanee jaatee. maujoodah Soorat-e-Haal to yeh hai keh:

naat^iqah sar-ba-girebaaN hai, ise kyaa kahiYe?

jii, bajaa farmaayaa aapne. mujhe aite'raaf hai ki mujhe bahoor, avzaan vaGhaira kaa 'ilm qata'ii nahiiN...maiN to bas gungunaa kar hii she'r kah letaa huN vo bhii us andhere meN teer kii taraH ki kabhi nishaane par lagaa to kabhi nishaana Khata bhii ho jaataa hai aur is mauq'e par yaqeenan aisaa hii huaa.

dar_asl, maiN aapke saamne is tarjumah ke vujood meN aane kaa pas manzar 'arz kar duuN. abhii Haal hii meN, Maaham saaHiba ne maHfil-e-suKhan taKhtii-e-paiGhaam par 'omar Khaiyaam kii ek rubaa'ii aur uska manzoon tarjumah dar zabaan e farhangii chaspaaN kiyaa...maiN ne az rah-e-mashq sochaa ki kiuN na mausoof ke kisii rubaa'ii par tab'a aazmaaii kii jaaye, so bas vahiiN baiThe baiThe jaisa mujh se ban paRa qalam_band kiyaa aur use usii waqt vahaN aur deegar sites par chaspaaN kar diyaa.

yeh mashq maiN ne qata'ii sanjeedgii se nahiiN sar-anjaam diyaa thaa aur agar chaahtaa bhii to kuchh mazeed behtar tarjumah na kar paataa kiuNki is mushkil sinf-e-suKhan ke aadaab o rumooz aur uske avzaan ka mujhe raayii baraabar bhii 'ilm nahiiN hai. yeh baat ki maiN is sinf e suKhan meN mustaqil mizaajii ke saath sanjeedgii se tab'a aazmaai karuuNgaa, kabhii mere zehn o gumaan meN bhii na thaa. merii itnii jurrat nahiiN Huzoor e waalaa!

aap to maashaa-Allah shaai'r haiN. agar Umar Khayyaam kaa doosraa miSra' rubaa,e'e ke wazn meN hai (aur yaqeena" hai!) to :bas: ke iZ^aafeh se yeh Khaarij az wazn naheeN ho jaaYe gaa? ph`ir aap ke is :tarjumah: kee kyaa Haiciyyat reh gayee? aap ke is tarjumeh meN aur bh`ee Ghalat^iyaaN haiN. wazn ke i'laavah, micaal ke t^aur par yeh :roz ba shab: kyaa hotaa hai? yooN bh`ee aap kaa pehlaa miSra' Khayyaam ke pehle miSre' kaa tarjumah naheeN hai!

lol Huzoor, kujaa shaa'irii aur kujaa shaa'ir! maiN to Khud ko tuk_bandiya bhii nahiiN gardaantaa...bas maiN to shaa'ir-e-raah [galiyoN ka tuk_bandiya] ya shaa'ir-e-bait-ul-Khalaa [bathroom poet] [ ] bhii kahlavaane kaa Haq_daar nahiiN. aapne saHiiH farmaayaa ki mujhe aisii koshishoN se ijtinaab baratnaa chaahiye. yaad_dehaanii ka shukria.

guZaarish hai keh rubaa,e'e kee fikr abh`ee nah kareN. pehle is kaa i'lm HaaSil kar leejiYe to behtar ho gaa. mujh` ko i'lm hai keh aap ko meree baateN bohat naa-gawaar guZreN gee. mushkil yeh hai keh Urdu meHfiloN meN :waah, waah: karne waale to beshumaar haiN lekin belaag SaHeeH baat karne waaloN kee bohat kamee hai. mujh` ko Najma SaaHebah kee teHreer se baRee maayoosee huyee. agar un jaise ashKhaaS bh`ee aisee "siyaasat" barteN ge to hamaaraa aur Urdu donoN kaa Allah hee Haafiz^ hai!

jii, aapkaa Hukm sar aaNkhoN par! is meN kia shak hai ki be-laag tabsire har kisi ke bas kii baat bhii nahiN aur saaf goyii bhii 'aam nahiiN. sabkii apnii apnii majbooriyaaN haiN. Allah aisa kabhii na kare ki hamaarii hamaaraa apnaa ravaiya urdu ke Haq meN "siyaasii" ho. bas ham to yehi kah sakte haiN ki:

fahm apnii apnii, Khayaal apnaa apnaa

is teHreer se aap kee dil-aazaaree maqSood naheeN hai bal.k Sirf iz^haar-e-waaqia' manz^oor hai. Saaf-goyee ke liYe ma'Zirat-Khwaah hooN!

apne bh`ee Khafaa mujh` se haiN, begaane bh`ee naa-Khush
maiN zehr-e-halaahal ko kabh`ee keh nah sakaa qand!

ba_Khuda nahiiN, hargiz nahiiN...aap jaise buzurgoN aur saaHib-e-ilm_o_zakaa kii rahnumaaii yaqeenan hamaare liye mash'al-e-raah hogii. mujhe qata'ii aapkii baat burii nahiN lagii. dar_Haqeeqat aisii tahreer ka maiN to shaidaaii hooN taaki kuchh seekh sakuuN. merii kam_zarfii mu'aaf farmaaiyegaa. shukria.

duaaoN kaa taalib

Hashmat

[Sarwar A. Raz]

muHibbee Hashmat SaaHeb:aadaab!

aap ke jawaab ke liYe aur KhuSooSa" us faraaKh-dilee ke liYe mamnoon hooN jis kaa maz^har aap kaa Khat^ hai. aap ne apne baare meN kuch` Z^aroorat se ziyaadah saKht alfaaz^ likh` diYe haiN. inheN paRh kar afsos huwaa. aap yaqeena" shaai'r haiN. reh gayeeN Ghalat^iyaaN to un kaa Sudoor kis se naheeN hotaa? meree teHreer bh`ee bohat saKht ho gayee th`ee aur is kaa mujh` ko dilee afsos bh`ee hai. ma'Zirat? shukriyah!

dar aSl rubaa,e'e ek intihaayee mushkil Sinf hai. is meN baRe shoa'raa (macala" Josh Maleehabadi!) ne bh`ee Th`okareN kh`aayee haiN. is ke auzaan ta'daad meN 24 haiN aur in ko barqaraar rakh`naa intihaayee mushkil kaam hai. yehee vajh hai keh aap ko rubaa,e'e bohat hee kam naz^ar aatee hai. Ghalib, Momin, Mir waGhairah ne bh`ee kam kam hee kahee haiN! beshtar logoN ne agar kahee haiN to ek hee wazn meN fikr kee hai. sab auzaan meN jaane kee koshisheN bohat kam huyee haiN.

rubaa,e'e kaa sab se a'am wazn wohee hai jo is fiqreh kaa hai:

laa-Haul-a-wa-laa-quwwat-a-illaa-billaah

mujh` ko yaad hai keh apne bachpan meN waalid-e-marHoom se jab is wazn kaa Zikr kiyaa th`aa to woh bohat Khush huwe th`e. yeh aur baat hai keh aaj tak mujh` ko ek rubaa,e'e bh`ee kehne kee taufeeq naheeN huyee!

maiN aap kee muHabbat ke liYe dua'a-go hooN.

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: