Ghalib ki zameen main aik Ghazal

[Waqar Zaidi]

GHAZAL

YOON TO KIS DIN SAHAR NAHIN AATI
ROUSHNI MAIRAY GHAR NAHIN AATI

JIS SAY ROUSHAN HO MIRA KHANA E DIL
KOII AISI SAHAR NAHIN AATI

MAIRAY GHAR MAIN BHI AIK RAOZAN HAY
ROUSHNI KIYUN IDHAR NAHIN AATI

SUN RAHA HOON NAVEED E MAUSAM E GUL
SHAKL AB TAK NAZAR NAHIN AATI

AIK MUDDAT SAY HOON MAIN SAR GARDAAN
KIYUN TAIRI REHGUZAR NAHIN AATI

KHAK HO JAYE GI YE NAU E BASHAR
JANG SAY BAAZ AGAR NAHIN AATI

DAD KIA FANN E SHER KI DAIN GAY
JIN KO QADR E HUNAR NAHIN AATI

MUJH KO BHI TOO NAY KAR DIA GUMRAH
SHARM AIY RAAHBAR NAHIN AATI

ZINDAGI KA GILA NA KAR ZAIDI
ZINDAGI TUJH SAY KAR NAHIN AATI

WAQAR ZAIDI

[najma]

waqar zaidi sahib!
bohat khoobsoorat khayalaat qalam-band kiye haiN aap ne apne ash,aar meiN.
bohat khoob
daad qubool kijiye

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramii
Waqar Zaidi Saahib,


Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,


Aapkii mandarja-e-zail ghazal bahut pasand aayii jiske liey meri daad o teHseen qubool farmaayiye. Agar aap ijaazut deN to maiN apnaa tafseeli tabsirah pesh karne jaarahaa hooN jis se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN.


GHAZAL

(1) YOON TO KIS DIN SAHAR NAHIN AATI
ROUSHNI MAIRAY GHAR NAHIN AATI

Achcha maTLaA hei. Aap ne is maTleA se ghaliban yeh kehnaa chaahaa hei ke fiTrati Taur per tou her rouz sahar houti hei lekin us se mujhe shkhsii Taur per koii faayidah nahiN houtaa kiyooNkeh mere ghar meiN tou andheraa hii rehtaa hei.

2) JIS SAY ROUSHAN HO MIRA KHANA E DIL
KOII AISI SAHAR NAHIN AATI

MatleA meiN aap ne kahaa thaa ke mere ghar meiN raushni nahiN aati aur is sheAr meiN bhii seHar kaa hii qaafiyah hei albattah ghar kii bajaye khaana-e-dil isteAmaal kiyaa hei. Waise sheAr ka mafhoom vaazeh hei
.
3) MAIRAY GHAR MAIN BHI AIK RAOZAN HAY
ROUSHNI KIYUN IDHAR NAHIN AATI

Is sheAr meiN bhii ghar aur raushnii kaa zikr kiyaa jaarahaa hei. Waise, sheAr ka mafhoom vaazeH hei.

4) SUN RAHA HOON NAVEED E MAUSAM E GUL
SHAKL AB TAK NAZAR NAHIN AATI

Is sheAr meiN mazmoon qadre badlaa houaa hei aur achcha hei. Bahut achchaa sheAr hei.

5) AIK MUDDAT SAY HOON MAIN SAR GARDAAN
KIYUN TAIRI REHGUZAR NAHIN AATI

Is sheAr meiN bhii mazmoon kii nudrat hei doosre ashAar kii banisbat. Achcha sheAr hei.

6) KHAK HO JAYE GI YE NAU E BASHAR
JANG SAY BAAZ AGAR NAHIN AATI

Is sheAr meiN bhii mazmoon kii tabdeeli ke sabab nudrat paidaa hougaii. sheAr achcha hei.

7) DAD KIA FANN E SHER KI DAIN GAY
JIN KO QADR E HUNAR NAHIN AATI

Seedha saadah sheAr hei. Theek hei.

8) MUJH KO BHI TOO NAY KAR DIA GUMRAH
SHARM AIY RAAHBAR NAHIN AATI

Yeh sheAr bhii achchaa hei.

9) ZINDAGI KA GILA NA KAR ZAIDI
ZINDAGI TUJH SAY KAR NAHIN AATI

MaqTaA saheeh hei.

MaTeA, doosre sheAr aur teesre sheAr meiN in alfaaz kii takraar se ghazal kamzour hougaii hei.
1)saHar, raushni aur ghar.
2)raushan aur saHar
3)ghar aur raushni.

Aap agar apni ghazal mukammal karne ke ba'd nazar-e-caani kareN tou bahut hii dilkash sheAr keh sakte heiN.

NaseeHat;
a) Alfaz kii takraar se bachne kii koushish keejiye.
b) Mazameen meiN tanavvuA paidaa karne kii koushish keejye.
c) Aamad ke mani yeh nahiN ke kamzour sheAr ko apnaaliyaa jaye balkeh nazaar-e-caani karke beHtar banaane kii koushish karni chaahiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Waqar Zaidi]

MOHTARAM NAZIR SAHIB AUR MOHTARMA NAJMA SAHIBA !
SALAM E MASNOON ! NAWAZISH,KARAM,SHUKRIYA,MEHRBAANI.

WAQAR ZAIDI.

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Waqaar Zaidi saaHib,

aapkii Gahzal nazar guzaar huii aur bahot pasand aayii. moHtaram Naazir saaHib ke tabsire ke ba'd ham aur mazeed kuchh izafa nahiiN kar sakte...mausoof ke tabsire se ham bhii mustafeed huye...shukria aapkaa janaab e Naazir saaHib. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal kahne par merii jaanib se DheroN daad qubuul kijiiye.

Hashmat