EK GHAZAL: kis-qadar gumraah thay ham, haey kya kehte rahe

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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najma
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EK GHAZAL: kis-qadar gumraah thay ham, haey kya kehte rahe

Post by najma »

sathiyo!
aadaab
ek ghazal ke saath phir hazir hhooN, isiummeed ke saath, kehapko pasand aeygii.asaatizah kiraam ki aa,raa kibhi muntazir rahooN gii.
:-)

atrz hay
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brainheater
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Post by brainheater »

asslamualikum


waah buhat hi umdah ghazal share ki hai buhat buhat shukriya
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Hashmat Usmani
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Post by Hashmat Usmani »

salaam Hamsheerah saaHiba,

kaisi haiN aap? aapkii Ghazal paRhii aur do ek "gaRbaR" ke 'ilaava Ghazal bahot pyaarii lagii. matl'a meN "kia na kia" ke bajaaye "kia kia na" honaa chaahiye aur aage chal kar ek she'r meN aapne "Khudaa Haafiz" ko "Haafiz Khuda" Khuda kahaa hai. mere Khaayaal se ya'nii merii naaqis raaye meN in moHaavaraat ko aise baraatnaa ma'yuub lagtaa hai. aap plz nazar e saanii kar leN. shukria.

Har she'r umda hai so daad qubool kijiiye.

Hashmat
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khurram_shaikh
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Post by khurram_shaikh »

Assalaam o alekum,



Najma baaaji bahooot khoob bahoot hi umdeh kavish humse share ki aapnien andaaz aapkaa bahoot pyaaraa hai likhnien kaa, dili daad qabool karien khush rahien sada
RISK IS MY BUSINESS
DANGER IS MY GAME
DONT PLAY WITH ME
BCOZ KHURRAM IS MY NAME
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najma
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Re: bahut khoob

Post by najma »

dunya wrote:
Muhtaramah
Najma Saahibah, :oops:

Aapki ghazal mujhe bahut pasand aayii.

Aap ne is ghazal meiN muhaaviraoN ko badal diyaa hei jaisa ke maTleA meiN "kyaa kyaa nah" ko "kyaa na kyaa" aur chauthe shear meiN "khuda hafiz" ko "hafiz khuda" jis kii vajah se mere khayaal meiN ghazal kii khoobsoorati per acar paRrahaa hei. Aapka kya khayaal hei?

Khair Andesh,

dunya,

dunya sahiba!
apka bohat shukriya keh aap ne itne Ghaur-o-khauz se meri kawish ko dekha aur parkha. :-)
maiN sarasar aap de muttafiq hooN, lekin ba,z auqaat jo aap kehna chaah rahay haiN, us k liyey mutabaadal alfaaz meiN wo mauzuuniyyat naheeN hotii, jo darkaar hay.is liye ''hafiz khuda'' to kaha hay lekin '' kya na kya'' mahaware ke pesh-e-nazar nahii kaha hay. :-)
apki tawajjoh ke liye mamnoon hooN
khush rahiye
najma
:-)
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zmufti
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Post by zmufti »

Najma jee
Aapki ghazal buhat pasand aayii share karnay ka shukria
pehlay sher K barey meiN Duniya ka khayal durust maaloom hota hai
kia kia na kehtay rahey sounds better
allah hafiz
zarqa
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waqar_masood
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Post by waqar_masood »

najma ji assalam o alaikum

MA SAHA ALLAH buhut khoob ghazal kehi hay meri janib say daad qubool kejay..

waqar masood
hello
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Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

mukarramah Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal dekh`ee aur pasand aayee. tafSeelee tabSirah likh`aa aur woh Kuhdaa jaane kahaaN Ghaa,ib ho gayaa! ab ph`ir likh` rahaa hooN!

sab se pehle is kaamyaab kaavish par meree daad qubool keejiYe. yeh Ghazal aap ke maKhSooS raNg kee aa,eenah-daar hai. Khayaalaat aur bayaan donoN hee Saaf aur achh`e haiN. aap kee ijaazat se do ek baateN a'rZ^ kar rahaa hooN. yeh nah to tanqeed hai aur nah hee :iSlaaH:! haaN aap is ko :fikr ba-aawaaz-e-baland: keh saktee haiN.
----------------------------
kis qadar gumraah th`e ham, kyaa nah kyaa kehte rahe
muddatoN tak ek patth`ar ko Khudaa kehte rahe

waah! bohat achh`aa mat^la' hai. daad HaaZ^ir hai. :kyaa na kyaa: albattah qadre Ghair-maanoos hai. yooN keh sakte haiN:

kis qadar gumraah th`e ham, haaYe! kyaa kehte rahe
zindagee bh`ar ek patth`ar ko Khudaa kehte rahe
--------------------------------
ham tumheN Dh`ooNDaa kiYe har raah meN, har moR par
tum nah mil paa,oge dil ko baarhaa kehte rahe

pehlaa miSra' bohat achh`aa hai lekin doosraa us kaa saath` naheeN de paa rahaa hai. :ko: kee bajaaYe :se: behtar hai lekin is se bh`ee miSre' kee kamzoree kaa i'laaj naheeN hotaa hai. ek baar aur dekh` leN?
----------------------------------
waaYe naakaamee keh woh ik shaKhS bh`ee maHram nah th`aa
jis ko ab tak zindagee kaa aasraa kehte rahe

:maHram: jis ma'nee meN ma'roof hai us ke pesh-e-naz^ar tabdeelee behtar hai. yooN soch sakte haiN:

waaYe naakaamee! nah niklaa mo'tabar woh shaKhS bh`ee
jis ko---------
--------------------------
Doobne waala -------
ahl-e-saaHil------------

ek to :Haafiz^ Khudaa: kuch` a'jeeb saa hai aur doosre she'r apne mat^lab meN waaZ^eh naheeN hai. meree raaYe meN is par naz^ar-e-caanee kee Z^aroorat hai. yooN aap behtar jaantee haiN.
-------------------------------
woh to un kaa z^arf th`aa aur yeh hamaaraa HauSilah
z^ulm woh karte rahe, ham marHabaa kehte rahe

bohat Khoob! daad!! yooN keh kar is kee bandish ko chust kar sakte haiN:

woh th`aa us kaa z^arf aur yeh th`aa hamaaraa HauSilah
z^ulm woh kartaa rahaa, ham marHabaa kehte rahe
----------------------------
dekh` leN ----------
aah ko ----------------

yeh she'r meree samajh` meN mukammal t^aur se naheeN aayaa. tashreeH kar deejiYe. shukriyah!
-------------------
dard-o-Gham------------
aap ph`ir -------------

waah! achh`aa she'r hai!
---------------------------
yooN gaye muR kar nah dekh`aa raahee-e-mulk-e-a'dam
dekh`iYe mat jaa,iYe ham barmalaa kehtr rahe

pehle miSre' meN :raahee-e-mulk-e-a'dam ne: honaa chaahiYe. :barmalaa: kaa yeh ista'maal bh`ee tavajjuh chaahataa hai. ek baar aur dekh` lene meN harj naheeN hai. aur pehlaa miSra' yooN ho saktaa hai:

yooN gayaa muR kar nah dekh`aa us ne ham ko ik naz^ar
dekh`iYe mat jaa,iYe ham barmalaa kehtr rahe
----------------------------
zindagee meN ham ne paiham is qadar khaaYe fareb
har qadam par rehzanoN ko rehnumaa kehte rahe

she'r kaa mat^lab yooN bh`ee nikal saktaa hai jaise rehzanoN ko rehnumaa kehnaa zindagee ke fareb kaa nateejah ho! aur yeh aap kaa maqSad naheeN hai. :is: ko :kis: se badal deN to yeh ibhaam door ho jaataa hai.
----------------------------
sun,ne waale to nah jaane kaun se a'alam meN th`e
Khud hee :Najma: she'r par ham marHabaa kehte rahe

kis ke she'r par?

sun,ne waale jaane :Najma: kaun se a'alam meN th`e
Khud hee apne she'r par ham marHabaa kehte rahe
======================
aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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najma
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Post by najma »

sara_j wrote:Najma ji,

salaam.

aapki ghazal pasand aayi, ye ashaar kuch ziyada pasand aaye:

kisqadr gumraah the hum, kiya na kiya kehte rahe
muddaton tak aek pathar ko khuda kehte rahe.

waah bohat khoob!

hum tumhe dhoonda kiye har raah mein, har moRh per
tum na mil paoge, dil ko baraah kehte rahe


doobne wala tou kosoN door ja pahuncha magar
ahle saahil dair tak hafiz khuda kehte rahe


voh tou unka zarf tha aur ye humara hosla
zulm voh karte rahe, hum marhaba kehte rahe

dekh lein voh aasmaaN ki qahr aaludah nazar
aah ko meri jou aah narisa kehte rahe

yun gaye muRh ker na dekha, raahiye mulke adam!
dekhiye! mat jaiye!! hum bermala kehte rahe

sunne wale tou na jaane kaun se aalam mein the
khud hi Najma shair per hum marhaba kehte rahe

waah najma ji daad qubool keejiye.

sara

sara j sabiba!
:o
aap ne to taqreeban poori ghazal hi pasand kar lii :o
khushi huee
bohat shukriya
:grin:
najma
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najma
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Post by najma »

brainheater wrote:asslamualikum


waah buhat hi umdah ghazal share ki hai buhat buhat shukriya


bohat shukriya brainheater sahiba!
sada khush rahiye
:-)
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taimoor
nau-waarid
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Post by taimoor »

aslam_O_alakum
mohtarmah najma sahiba bohat khoob appki ya ghazal mujhay bohat pasand aayi ha



waah buhat hi umdah ghazal share ki hai buhat buhat shukriya :P


taimoor tariq [/b]
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taimoor
nau-waarid
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Post by taimoor »

taimoor tariq
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najma
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Post by najma »

Sarwar Raz wrote:mukarramah Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal dekh`ee aur pasand aayee. tafSeelee tabSirah likh`aa aur woh Kuhdaa jaane kahaaN Ghaa,ib ho gayaa! ab ph`ir likh` rahaa hooN!

sab se pehle is kaamyaab kaavish par meree daad qubool keejiYe. yeh Ghazal aap ke maKhSooS raNg kee aa,eenah-daar hai. Khayaalaat aur bayaan donoN hee Saaf aur achh`e haiN. aap kee ijaazat se do ek baateN a'rZ^ kar rahaa hooN. yeh nah to tanqeed hai aur nah hee :iSlaaH:! haaN aap is ko :fikr ba-aawaaz-e-baland: keh saktee haiN.
----------------------------
kis qadar gumraah th`e ham, kyaa nah kyaa kehte rahe
muddatoN tak ek patth`ar ko Khudaa kehte rahe

waah! bohat achh`aa mat^la' hai. daad HaaZ^ir hai. :kyaa na kyaa: albattah qadre Ghair-maanoos hai. yooN keh sakte haiN:

kis qadar gumraah th`e ham, haaYe! kyaa kehte rahe
zindagee bh`ar ek patth`ar ko Khudaa kehte rahe
--------------------------------
ham tumheN Dh`ooNDaa kiYe har raah meN, har moR par
tum nah mil paa,oge dil ko baarhaa kehte rahe

pehlaa miSra' bohat achh`aa hai lekin doosraa us kaa saath` naheeN de paa rahaa hai. :ko: kee bajaaYe :se: behtar hai lekin is se bh`ee miSre' kee kamzoree kaa i'laaj naheeN hotaa hai. ek baar aur dekh` leN?
----------------------------------
waaYe naakaamee keh woh ik shaKhS bh`ee maHram nah th`aa
jis ko ab tak zindagee kaa aasraa kehte rahe

:maHram: jis ma'nee meN ma'roof hai us ke pesh-e-naz^ar tabdeelee behtar hai. yooN soch sakte haiN:

waaYe naakaamee! nah niklaa mo'tabar woh shaKhS bh`ee
jis ko---------
--------------------------
Doobne waala -------
ahl-e-saaHil------------

ek to :Haafiz^ Khudaa: kuch` a'jeeb saa hai aur doosre she'r apne mat^lab meN waaZ^eh naheeN hai. meree raaYe meN is par naz^ar-e-caanee kee Z^aroorat hai. yooN aap behtar jaantee haiN.
-------------------------------
woh to un kaa z^arf th`aa aur yeh hamaaraa HauSilah
z^ulm woh karte rahe, ham marHabaa kehte rahe

bohat Khoob! daad!! yooN keh kar is kee bandish ko chust kar sakte haiN:

woh th`aa us kaa z^arf aur yeh th`aa hamaaraa HauSilah
z^ulm woh kartaa rahaa, ham marHabaa kehte rahe
----------------------------
dekh` leN ----------
aah ko ----------------

yeh she'r meree samajh` meN mukammal t^aur se naheeN aayaa. tashreeH kar deejiYe. shukriyah!
-------------------
dard-o-Gham------------
aap ph`ir -------------

waah! achh`aa she'r hai!
---------------------------
yooN gaye muR kar nah dekh`aa raahee-e-mulk-e-a'dam
dekh`iYe mat jaa,iYe ham barmalaa kehtr rahe

pehle miSre' meN :raahee-e-mulk-e-a'dam ne: honaa chaahiYe. :barmalaa: kaa yeh ista'maal bh`ee tavajjuh chaahataa hai. ek baar aur dekh` lene meN harj naheeN hai. aur pehlaa miSra' yooN ho saktaa hai:

yooN gayaa muR kar nah dekh`aa us ne ham ko ik naz^ar
dekh`iYe mat jaa,iYe ham barmalaa kehtr rahe
----------------------------
zindagee meN ham ne paiham is qadar khaaYe fareb
har qadam par rehzanoN ko rehnumaa kehte rahe

she'r kaa mat^lab yooN bh`ee nikal saktaa hai jaise rehzanoN ko rehnumaa kehnaa zindagee ke fareb kaa nateejah ho! aur yeh aap kaa maqSad naheeN hai. :is: ko :kis: se badal deN to yeh ibhaam door ho jaataa hai.
----------------------------
sun,ne waale to nah jaane kaun se a'alam meN th`e
Khud hee :Najma: she'r par ham marHabaa kehte rahe

kis ke she'r par?

sun,ne waale jaane :Najma: kaun se a'alam meN th`e
Khud hee apne she'r par ham marHabaa kehte rahe
======================
aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:



janab Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: sahib!
assalaam-o-alaikum
aapki is khoobsoorat rah-numaee aur qeematee raey-o-islaah se na sirf muttafiq hooN, bal-k be-had mamnoon bhi hooN.
ab Ghazal islaah kar ke lagaa dii hay.
ek baar phir ap ka shukriya ada kartii hooN.
khair andesh
najma
:-)
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najma
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Post by najma »

Hashmat Usmani wrote:salaam Hamsheerah saaHiba,

kaisi haiN aap? aapkii Ghazal paRhii aur do ek "gaRbaR" ke 'ilaava Ghazal bahot pyaarii lagii. matl'a meN "kia na kia" ke bajaaye "kia kia na" honaa chaahiye aur aage chal kar ek she'r meN aapne "Khudaa Haafiz" ko "Haafiz Khuda" Khuda kahaa hai. mere Khaayaal se ya'nii merii naaqis raaye meN in moHaavaraat ko aise baraatnaa ma'yuub lagtaa hai. aap plz nazar e saanii kar leN. shukria.

Har she'r umda hai so daad qubool kijiiye.

Hashmat

baradaram!
aapki raey aur daad, donoN sir aaNkhoN par.
bohat shukriya
khair andesh
najma
:-)
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najma
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Post by najma »

saathiyo!
aadaab
aap meiN se kuch saathii hamarii ghazal ko urdu
hamarre kuch saathiyoN, khusuusi taur pe waqar sahib aur najm sahib ko hamari ye ghazal urdu meiN nazar nahii aasakii, lihaza ab ham, un ke hukm ki ta,meel meiN, ise roman meiN bhi pesh kar rahay haiN.
:grin:

kis qadar gum-raah thay ham, haey, kya kehte rahay
mud,datoN tak ek pat,thar ko khuda kehte rahay



ham tumheN DhoonDaa kiye har raah meiN, har moR par
is pareshaanii meiN janay kya se kya kehte rahay


waAey naakaamii, na nikla mo,tabar wo shakh,s bhii
jisko ab tak zindagii ka aasraa kehte rahay


Doobne waala to kosoN duur jaa ponhcha, magar
ehl-e-saahil sirf ik harf-e-dua kehte rahay



wo to unka zarf tha, aur ye hamara hauslah
zulm wo karte rahay, ham marhaba kehte rahay



dekh leN wo, aasmaaN ki qehr-aaluudah nazar
aaah ko merii jo, aah-e-naa-rasaa kehte rahay


dard-o-Gham, ranj-o-alam, aah-o-fuGhaaN thay mere saath
aap phir kese mujhe tanhaa bhalaa kehte rahay


jaane waale ne to muR kar bhi na dekha ik nazar
dekhiye! mat jaaiyye!! ham baar,haa kehte rahay


zindagii meiN ham ne paiham, kis-qadar khaaey fareb
har qadam par rah-zanoN ko, rah-numaa kehte rahay


sun,ne waale NAJMA, jaane kaun se aalam meiN thay
khud hi apne she,r par ham marhabaa kehte rahay

:NAJMA ANSAR NAJMA:
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