Aek taazah ghazal baraaye islaah / June 14
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Mohtarmah Duniya SahibaH, Tasleemaat
Aapki ghazal dekhee. Achche mazamin haiN aap ne achche koshish ki hai. Meri janib se dad qubool farmaaiye.
Ghazal ko bharpur tawajjo se dekhne ke bAAd maiN iss nateeje per pahooNcha keh aap ko sher kahna aata hai bus misAroN ko thoRee Safaii ki zaroorat hai. Aap ya to kise ustaad se madad hasil kijiye ya Khood apne misAroN per nazr-e saani kijiye aur unheN Saaf karne ki koshish kijiye. Maslan "Raat baqi bahut hai Khuwaab karo". Iss misAre meN Khuwaab karo kuch namunasib sa lagta hai. Khuwaab kabhi kiya nahiN jata dekha jata hai. Agar iss misAre ko yooN kaha jaaye to kitna farq ho jata hai zara Ghaur farmaaiye: "Apnee aaNkhoN ko nazr-e Khuwaab karo."
Ummid hai meree baat aap samajh gayee hoNgee. Agar aap munsib samjheN to apni aaindaH ghazal post karne se qabl mujhe PM kar dijiyega maiN misroN ko Saaf karne kee habt.al.imkaan koshish karooNga.
Khair Andesh,
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
- Mahtab Qadr
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Re: shukriya
dunya wrote:
Ustad Jawaid Badayuni Sahib,
Adaab o Tasleemat,
Aapki qeemati raaye ke liye behad shukriya. Aap ne likhha hei:
Mohtarmah Duniya SahibaH, Tasleemaat
Aapki ghazal dekhee. Achche mazamin haiN aap ne achche koshish ki hai. Meri janib se dad qubool farmaaiye.
Ghazal ko bharpur tawajjo se dekhne ke bAAd maiN iss nateeje per pahooNcha keh aap ko sher kahna aata hai bus misAroN ko thoRee Safaii ki zaroorat hai. Aap ya to kise ustaad se madad hasil kijiye ya Khood apne misAroN per nazr-e saani kijiye aur unheN Saaf karne ki koshish kijiye. Maslan "Raat baqi bahut hai Khuwaab karo". Iss misAre meN Khuwaab karo kuch namunasib sa lagta hai. Khuwaab kabhi kiya nahiN jata dekha jata hai. Agar iss misAre ko yooN kaha jaaye to kitna farq ho jata hai zara Ghaur farmaaiye: "Apnee aaNkhoN ko nazr-e Khuwaab karo."
Ummid hai meree baat aap samajh gayee hoNgee. Agar aap munsib samjheN to apni aaindaH ghazal post karne se qabl mujhe PM kar dijiyega maiN misroN ko Saaf karne kee habt.al.imkaan koshish karooNga.
Khair Andesh,
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
Jee achcha, aayindah maiN aapko pm bhejkar mashwirah karungi. Lekin aek sawal poochnaa chaahti hooN. Aap ne "kharab karo" ko ghalat qarar diyaa hei tou Meer Taqi Meer ke yeh sheAr ghalat hei?
'khuda kareem hei uske karam se rakhkar chashm
daraz kheincho kisi maikade mein khwab karo'
Aapke irshad ki muntazir rahungi.shukriya.
khair andesh,
Dunya,
MohtarmaH Dunya SahibaH
Meer ki zubaan hi alag thee. Aap ki puree ghazal agar Meer ke raNg ya unki zubaan meN hoti to baat deegar thee. Main ne aap ko PM bhi kiya hai dekh lijiyega.
Nez yeh keh maiN Khood tifl-e maktab hooN mujhe Ustaad kahkere shamindah nah kijiye.
Khulooskaar,
Jawaid
- Mahtab Qadr
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