Mahtab Qadr wrote:salaam
shummu behad khushi huvi aapki ghazal pakar ke aik arse baad naseeb horahi hai .
--w'salaammmmm!!!jee bilkul bajaa farmaaya aapne..maine taqreeban 4 maah baad kuch likha hai isliye is mein bahut ghaltiyaan thin jise maine aap ke aur Nazir sahab ke mashwaron ke baad durust kar liya hai..
jis ka Dar tha,wahi huaa aakhir
ho gaya unse saamnaa aakhir.
wah wah kia baat hai
--SHUKRIYA
kar gayi kuch asar du'aa aakhir
'Haal-e-dil lab pe aagayaa aakhir'
mashallah , haal e dil ko lab pe laane bhi waqai larhkioN ke lye dushwar hota aur aapne niswani ehsasaat ki akkasi ki hai.
--nawaazish!
dekh kar mujh ko ghamzadaa aakhir
tujh ko miltaa hai kyaa mazaa aakhir
khoob , pahle misre mai wazeh na ho saka ke aapka mukhatib kaun hai.
--apne mehboob se!
mujh ko koii de de pataa aakhir
koii DhooNDe kahaaN wafaa aakhir?
shayed aap "mujh ko de de koi pataa aakhir" kah rahi theiN aur typo ho gai , bahut khoob acha sher hai.
--jee jee shukriya nishaandehi farmaane ka
itna kyoN kar rahaa sitam mujh par?
kyaa khataa hai miree,bataa aakhir?!
shummu ji shayed 'kar raha' ke bajaye 'karte ho' ziada munasib hoga ,sher acha hai
--is sher mein maine Nazir sahab ke bataaye hue misre se apna pehla misra tabdeel kar diya hai.
ho gayii teri aankh nam kyoNkar?
usne aisa kya likh diyaa aakhir?
usne kia aisa likh diyaa aakhir , bahut khoob
--jee shukriya dubaara se sher dursut karne ke liye
kitna bhii khud se jhooT bolo tum
sach bataa dega aa'inaa aakhir
kab talak yuN hi zindagii jiyeiN..
jaane kab aayegii qazaa aakhir!
kab talak yuN hi zindaqi jeena , magar itni mayoosi kioN janab.
--is sher ko bhi maine durust karne ki koshish ki hai..dekhiye aur bataaiye ke main kamayaab ho saki hoon ya nahi..
kis wajah se 'shumaa'ilah' tum ho
is qadar zeest se khafaa aakhir?
bahut umda maqta hai bhai waah waah
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
--yahan pe 'wajah' ghalat hai isliye maine is sher ko kuch yun likha hai ab... kaisa hai ??
kis liye Aye 'Shumaa'ilah' tum ho
is qadar zeest se khafaa aakhir?
--shukriya bahut bahut Mahtaab sahab detail mein reply dene aur meri hausla afzaayi farmaane ke liye...!
talib-e-dua,
Shumaila