Ek Albeli Ghazal...

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
munir-armaan-nasimi
-
-
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:21 am
Location: INDIA
Contact:

Ek Albeli Ghazal...

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Dear Friends,

EK Ghazal...jo ek tazruba bhi hai... le kar hazir hoa hoon. Ummed hai ke aap sab ko pasand aayegi... Bhai Abdullah Nazir aur Sara ji, Shummu ji se honest 'Comments' ki sakht jaroorat hai. Ummed hai maayus nahin karenge.

Khuda Hafiz,

aap ka apna

Munir Armaan Nasimi
Attachments
Yeh Ghazal nahin...Ghazala hai...!!
Yeh Ghazal nahin...Ghazala hai...!!
Ghazal-Beetiyaan.gif (13.48 KiB) Viewed 515 times
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

khayaal achcha hei lekin

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Munir armaan nasimi SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Albeli ghazal ke unwaan ke teHt aapki kaawish qaabil-e-daad hei. Meri dili daad qubool farmaayiye:

MULAAHIZAAT:

beTiyaaN, tifliyaaN raAnaayiyaaN
surkhiyaan, shokhiyaaN shehnaayhiyaaN


Iskaa vazn hei faa'i'lun, faa'i'lun, mustaf'i'lun

laRkiyaaN, be-zabaaN, majbooriyaaN
hichkiyaaN, siskiyaaN, tanhaayiyaaN


iskaa vazn bhi pahle sheAr ke muTaabiq hei.

khiRkiyaaN, seeRhiyaaN, sargoushiyaaN
ungliyaaN, chiTThiyaaN, rusvaayiyaaN


Yeh bhi mandarja-e-baalaa vazn meiN hei.

imtiHaaN, tarjumaaN, khoobiyaaN
shaadmaaN, kaamraaN sachchaayiyaaN.


Is sheAr ke pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.

aasmaaN, bijliyaaN, aandhiyaaN
kashtiyaaN, baadbaaN, purvaa'iyaaN.


iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun

garmiyaaN, kaarwaaN, udaasiyaN
saayibaaN, nekiyaaN, achchaayiyaaN.


iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mufaa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.

armaaN, raayigaaN, betaabiyaaN
dooriyaaN, darmiyaaN, shenaayiyaaN.


Pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
feAlun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.

YooN meHsoos houtaa hei ke aap ne ghazal kehte hi us per nazar-e-caani kiyay baghair hi site per bhejdi. Ummeed ke is ghazal ko aek hi vazn meiN karlenge. Shukriyah.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

Image
User avatar
munir-armaan-nasimi
-
-
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:21 am
Location: INDIA
Contact:

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Jee Bhai jaan,

Aap bilkul sahi farma rahe hain. Ghazal mukammal hoi aur main ne post kar diya. Bas... ek tazruba karna chaahta tha. Dekhna chaahta tha ke aap logon ko kaisi lagti hai meri ghazala.

Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri islaah farmayi. Aaindah bhi apne karam se nawazte rahenge..is ummed ke saath,

aap ka apna

Munir Armaan Nasimi
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:

Post by Shummu »

wah andaaz bahut munfarid laga...achchi kosish ki hai..mufassil tabsira to mohtaram Abdullah nazir sahab farmaa hi chuke hain.....ab bas us pe ghaur kijiyega aur apni ghazal ko behtar banaane ki koshish kijiyega..AL THE BEST :)

Adaab,
shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
User avatar
munir-armaan-nasimi
-
-
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:21 am
Location: INDIA
Contact:

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Behad Shukriya Shumaila ji, main ne Nazir saheb ki baat NOTE kar li hai aur unka shukr guzaar bhi hoon ke wohh meri ghazal ke liye itna waqt nikaal paaye... aise mukhlish log aaj kal kahan milte hain?

I am really grateful to 'urdubandhan' for providing me the opportunity.

Regards,


Armaan
User avatar
rahmed25682
-
-
Posts: 126
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:28 am
Location: Karachi
Contact:

Post by rahmed25682 »

Salam Armaan sahab ...

wah kia baat hay janab ..ye to waqai ALBELI cheez pesh ki aap ne ..

Daad qubool farmaayeN/

Khush rahaiN

Khair Andesh

Raheel Ahmed
Kab Say HooN , Kia BataaooN Jahan-e-Kharab Main
Shab-Haaye Hijr Ko Bhee RakhooN Gar Hisab Main
=============================
Ghalib
User avatar
munir-armaan-nasimi
-
-
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:21 am
Location: INDIA
Contact:

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Sara ji,

Armaan nawazi ka behad shukriya. Meri "Ghazalaaaa... aap ko pasand aayi.... jahe-naseeb. Ummed karta hoon ke aage bhi hoshla afzai ki daulat se malamaal karengi.

Regards,

armaan
User avatar
munir-armaan-nasimi
-
-
Posts: 460
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:21 am
Location: INDIA
Contact:

Post by munir-armaan-nasimi »

Dear Raheel Bhai,

Meri "Albeli Ghazal" aap ko behad pasand aayi... khuda ka shukr hai. Aisa karein.. aaj se ye Albeli ... aap ki hoi. Qobool farmayein.

With lotsa luvs,

munir armaan nasimi
Post Reply