Dear Friends,
EK Ghazal...jo ek tazruba bhi hai... le kar hazir hoa hoon. Ummed hai ke aap sab ko pasand aayegi... Bhai Abdullah Nazir aur Sara ji, Shummu ji se honest 'Comments' ki sakht jaroorat hai. Ummed hai maayus nahin karenge.
Khuda Hafiz,
aap ka apna
Munir Armaan Nasimi
Ek Albeli Ghazal...
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- munir-armaan-nasimi
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Ek Albeli Ghazal...
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- Yeh Ghazal nahin...Ghazala hai...!!
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khayaal achcha hei lekin
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Munir armaan nasimi SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Albeli ghazal ke unwaan ke teHt aapki kaawish qaabil-e-daad hei. Meri dili daad qubool farmaayiye:
MULAAHIZAAT:
beTiyaaN, tifliyaaN raAnaayiyaaN
surkhiyaan, shokhiyaaN shehnaayhiyaaN
Iskaa vazn hei faa'i'lun, faa'i'lun, mustaf'i'lun
laRkiyaaN, be-zabaaN, majbooriyaaN
hichkiyaaN, siskiyaaN, tanhaayiyaaN
iskaa vazn bhi pahle sheAr ke muTaabiq hei.
khiRkiyaaN, seeRhiyaaN, sargoushiyaaN
ungliyaaN, chiTThiyaaN, rusvaayiyaaN
Yeh bhi mandarja-e-baalaa vazn meiN hei.
imtiHaaN, tarjumaaN, khoobiyaaN
shaadmaaN, kaamraaN sachchaayiyaaN.
Is sheAr ke pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
aasmaaN, bijliyaaN, aandhiyaaN
kashtiyaaN, baadbaaN, purvaa'iyaaN.
iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun
garmiyaaN, kaarwaaN, udaasiyaN
saayibaaN, nekiyaaN, achchaayiyaaN.
iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mufaa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
armaaN, raayigaaN, betaabiyaaN
dooriyaaN, darmiyaaN, shenaayiyaaN.
Pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
feAlun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
YooN meHsoos houtaa hei ke aap ne ghazal kehte hi us per nazar-e-caani kiyay baghair hi site per bhejdi. Ummeed ke is ghazal ko aek hi vazn meiN karlenge. Shukriyah.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
- munir-armaan-nasimi
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Jee Bhai jaan,
Aap bilkul sahi farma rahe hain. Ghazal mukammal hoi aur main ne post kar diya. Bas... ek tazruba karna chaahta tha. Dekhna chaahta tha ke aap logon ko kaisi lagti hai meri ghazala.
Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri islaah farmayi. Aaindah bhi apne karam se nawazte rahenge..is ummed ke saath,
aap ka apna
Munir Armaan Nasimi
Aap bilkul sahi farma rahe hain. Ghazal mukammal hoi aur main ne post kar diya. Bas... ek tazruba karna chaahta tha. Dekhna chaahta tha ke aap logon ko kaisi lagti hai meri ghazala.
Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri islaah farmayi. Aaindah bhi apne karam se nawazte rahenge..is ummed ke saath,
aap ka apna
Munir Armaan Nasimi
wah andaaz bahut munfarid laga...achchi kosish ki hai..mufassil tabsira to mohtaram Abdullah nazir sahab farmaa hi chuke hain.....ab bas us pe ghaur kijiyega aur apni ghazal ko behtar banaane ki koshish kijiyega..AL THE BEST :)
Adaab,
shumaila
Adaab,
shumaila
Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai
Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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- munir-armaan-nasimi
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