"jafaaYeN dekh` liyaaN, be-wafaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN"

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Sun May 22, 2005 6:36 am

yaaraan-e-meHfil: tasleemaat!

maiN ne Haal hee meN kayee GhazaleN Mir Taqi "Mir" ke raNg meN kehne kee koshish kee hai. aaj kee yeh Ghazal Mir kee us Ghazal kee teHreek kaa nateejah hai jis kaa mat^la' hai:

jafaaYeN dekh` liyaaN, be-wafaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN
bh`alaa huwaa ke tiree sab buraa,iyaaN dekh`eeN!

yeh Ghazal is laRee kee shaayad aaKhiree kaRee hai. kam se kam mustaqbil-e-qareeb meN is t^araf rujoo' karne kaa kam hee imkaan naz^ar aataa hai! maiN is raNg meN fikr karnee jitnaa aasaan samajh`taa th`aa utnaa hee yeh kaam mushkil caabit huwaa! Khair, ab aap Ghazal suniYe aur apnee raaYe se aagaah karnaa nah bh`ooliYe! shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
-------------------------------
GHAZAL:

"jafaaYeN dekh` liyaaN, be-wafaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN"
tire Ghuroor kee sab be-ridaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN

buraa,iyoN meN bh`ee teree bh`alaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN
Khudee kaa dh`yaan kiyaa, Khud-numaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN!

jab aa,iyaaN tiree yaadeN hameN shab-e-hijraaN
Khayaal-o-Khwaab kee be-dast-o-paa,iyaaN dekh`eeN

tanik idh`ar bh`ee kabh`oo chashm-e-naaz se dekh`o
ik u'mr guZree keh bas kaj-adaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN!

miaaN! kuch` apne ta,yeeN dekh` bh`aal to lete
yeh kyaa keh auroN meN saaree buraa,iyaaN dekh`eeN!

chale th`e raah-e-wafaa meN jude-jude ham lek!
Ghuroor-e-i'shq kee sab Khastah-paa,iyaaN dekh`eeN

kabh`oo kisoo ne sunee haiN hamaariyaaN SaaHeb?
hamesh sab ne hameeN meN buraa,iyaaN dekh`eeN

kabh`oo nah aayaa tujh`e a'ashiqee kaa Dh`ab "Sarwar"
keh jab bh`ee dekh`eeN tiree Khud-sitaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN!
----------------------------------
ridaa = chaadar
be-ridaayee = be-pardagee
Khud-numaayee = apnee numaa,ish
aa,iyaaN = aa,yeeN
be-dast-o-paa = jis ke haath`-pair donoN nah hoN
be-dast-o-paayee = haath`-pair kaT jaanaa = bilkul majboor ho jaanaa
tanik = Zaraa
kaj = TeRh`aa
kaj-adaa = TeRh`ee adaa waalaa
ta,yeeN = t^araf
jude-jude = sab se alag-alag
lek = lekin
Khastah-paayee = th`akaan (pairoN kaa th`ak-haar jaanaa)
Dh`ab = t^areeqah
Khud-sitaayee = apne muNh se apnee hee ta'reef karnaa

Post by **najma** » Sun May 22, 2005 4:12 pm

JANAB SARWAR.A.RAZ:SARWAR: SAHIB!
assalam-o-alaikum
sab se pehle to

((yeh Ghazal is laRee kee shaayad aaKhiree kaRee hai. kam se kam mustaqbil-e-qareeb meN is t^araf rujoo' karne kaa kam hee imkaan naz^ar aataa hai!))

arz hay keh aap aur ham sabhi, ba-khoobi jante haiN keh hameshah yahaaN apka kitna ehm kirdaar raha hay.

.aap ki sar-parastii ne yahaaN na-cheez samet,bohtoN ko hausla diya hay.ham aapki deegar masroofiyaat ke saath saath ek naee zimma-daarii se bhi waaqif haiN.dua hay keh allaah apko sehat-o-salamatii ke saath ye tamaam faraaiz ada karne ki himmat-o-hausla deta rahay.
aap ko ese meiN rokna bhi munasib naheeN, lekin jaane deiN, ye bhi ik imtihaan se kam naheeN.
ek guzarish albatta urdubandhan ke tamaam muntazmeen-o-membraan ki taraf hay hay, keh jab jab mumkin ho, zaroor tashreef late rahiyyega.
dua hay keh jald aap ham meiN hasb-e-ma,mool bhii ayaa kareN, aameen.
aap ki tamaam-tar adabii khidmaat aur sar-parastii ke liye ham aap ke be-had mamnoon haiN, aur aap ke achay mustaqbil ke liye dua-go haiN.
aap bhi duaaoN meiN yaad rakhiyega.
(ye baat alag, keh aap jahaaN jahaaN bhi jaeiN, ham bhii aap ke pairaw raheNgay)

aap ki ghazal par ab agar ziyada kuch kaha to aap phir wohii kuch kaheN gay jo ab tak hameiN kehte aaey haiN.
lekin itna zaroor arz kar deiN keh paRh k ye mehsoos hi naheeN hua keh aaj k shaair ka kalaam hay.

iska ye matlab hargiz naheeN keh ye waqaee apka naheeN, bal-k aap k andaz-e-bayaaN ka kamaal hay.

har she,r hii bohat khoobsoorat andaaz aur haseen laffaazii se muzayyan hay.
bohat hii khoob
dilii daad qubool farmaiyye

khair andesh
najma

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Sun May 22, 2005 5:07 pm

Najma SaaHebah:aadaab!

aap Khat^ paRh`ne meN itnee jaldee nah kiyaa kareN warnah Ghalat^-fehmiyaaN baRh`tee hee jaaYeN gee!

:is laRee: se meree muraad :Mir ke raNg kee GhazaleN: th`aa nah keh :Urdubandhan:! ya'nee "ab shaayad Mir ke raNg meN kuch` a'rSe tak nah kahooN"! yahaaN to maiN aataa hee rahooN gaa. meree :nayee: maSroofiyaat kee ek shart^ yeh bh`ee hai keh maiN apnee :puraanee: maSroofiyaat naheeN ch`oRooN gaa!

daad ke liYe shukriyah qubool keejiYe.

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

Post by **najma** » Sun May 22, 2005 7:13 pm

[quote="Sarwar Raz"]Najma SaaHebah:aadaab!

aap Khat^ paRh`ne meN itnee jaldee nah kiyaa kareN warnah Ghalat^-fehmiyaaN baRh`tee hee jaaYeN gee!

:is laRee: se meree muraad :Mir ke raNg kee GhazaleN: th`aa nah keh :Urdubandhan:! ya'nee "ab shaayad Mir ke raNg meN kuch` a'rSe tak nah kahooN"! yahaaN to maiN aataa hee rahooN gaa. meree :nayee: maSroofiyaat kee ek shart^ yeh bh`ee hai keh maiN apnee :puraanee: maSroofiyaat naheeN ch`oRooN gaa!

daad ke liYe shukriyah qubool keejiYe.

JANAB SARWAR.A.RAZ:SARWAR: SAHIB!
assalam-o-alaikum

ufffff

bas lafz ''aakhirii'' ne hameiN ek-dam aisa chaunkaya keh baqi sab kuch bhool gaey tha.kuch aur nazar hi naheeN aarahaa tha.

shukr hay keh ye ek Ghalat-fehmii hi thii.

ma,zrat khaah haiN ham.

lekin hameiN kam az kam ye ma,loom hogaya k agar esa hota to kya hota

khair andesh

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:24 am

muHtarimah Dunya SaaHebah: aadaab!

itnee KhoobSoorat daad ke ba'd kaun aisaa ho gaa jo jh`uk kar aap ko salaam nah kare aur dil se daad (aur dua'a!) nah de? so yeh faqeer bh`ee aap kaa shukriyah adaa kartaa hai aur aap ke liYe dua'a-go hai!

reh gayaa aap kaa yeh she'r:

rahaa nah khauf judaayi kaa umr bhar ke liye
jab apne haathaoN mei teri kalaayiyaaN dekheeN

to is kee daad HaaZ^ir hai! aap ne bohat naazuk baat saleeqeh se keh dee hai aur yeh baRee baat hai:

baat chaahe be-saleeqah ho :Kaleem:
baat kehne kaa saleeqah chaahiYe! (Kaleem Ajiz)

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

Abdullah Nazir · Post by **Abdullah Nazir** » Tue May 24, 2005 10:31 am

MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: Saahib,

Aapki ghazal paRhkar bahut luTf aayaa her sheAr apni aap micaal hei. Itne dilkash heiN aap ke ashaar ke mujhe aap andaaz-e-bayaan per rashk houne lagtaa hei.

Jab Dunyaa Saahibah kii comments aur aapka javaab dekhaa to luTf dogunaa hougayaa.

Meri dili daad qubool farmaayiye.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:26 pm

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee nawaazish hai keh naacheez kee Ghazal ko pasandeedagee kee naz^ar se dekh`aa aur daad se sarfaraaz kiyaa. bohat bohat shukriyah qubool keejiYe.

:taar-e-anfaas-e-Ghazal: ko kyaa aap ne Kitabghar ko de diyaa hai? agar aisaa kar sakeN to :ghar baiTh`e: maiN bh`ee us se mustafeed ho sakooN gaa.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Post by **naheedv** » Tue May 24, 2005 4:21 pm

jab aa,iyaaN tiree yaadeN hameN shab-e-hijraaN
Khayaal-o-Khwaab kee be-dast-o-paa,iyaaN dekh`eeN

mohtaram Sarwar saahab, kis she'r kee ta'rif kee jaaye aur kis kee na kii jaaye!
aap kee ye ghazal ne buhat mutaacir kiyaa aur "meer" ke ranG se zeyaadah lutf diyaa :)

maiN Najma saahibah kee post paRh kar pareshaan ho gayee ke aap kahaaN jaa rahe heiN, ab baaqi sab posts tau paRh naheeN sakee magar un ke liye aap kaa jawaab zaroor paRhaa aur be.saakhitah haNsi nikal gayee paRh kar

iss khobsoorat kaavish par daad paish kartee hooN. qubool kijiye!

muikhliS
Naheed

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Wed May 25, 2005 1:02 pm

Naheed SaaHebah: aadaab!

aap ke Khat^ se masarrat huyee. Mir ke raNg meN kuch` kehne kaa meraa muNh kahaaN hai. bas ek dil kee bh`aRaas th`ee jo th`oRee see nikal gayee! maiN ne ek she'r meN kahaa hai:

shaa,i'ree apnee baraa-e-bait hai "Sarwar" keh maiN
Haashiyah-bardaar-e-Ghalib, Khoshah-cheen-e-Mir hooN!

yehee meree bisaat^ hai. aap kee daad kaa dil se mamnoon hooN.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Wed May 25, 2005 1:07 pm

mukarramee Ra'na SaaHeb: salaam-e-shauq!

yaad naheeN keh is se qabl aap se mulaaqaat huyee keh naheeN. lekin is se koyee farq naheeN paRtaa hai. aap ne jis muHabbat aur dil-sozee se meree Ghazal dekh` kar us par tafSeel se likh`ne kee zeHmat gawaaraa kee hai woh hazaar mulaaqaatoN par bh`aaree hai! mujh` ko akcar yeh eHsaas reh jaataa hai keh shaayad maiN apnee baat Ghazal meN bayaan naheeN kar sakaa aur isee liYe log us kee jaanib ziyaadah mutavajjeh naheeN ho sake haiN. aap ke Khat^ ne yeh eHsaas miTaa diyaa. maiN aap kaa mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hooN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Abdullah Nazir · Post by **Abdullah Nazir** » Thu May 26, 2005 12:09 pm

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

MuHtarami aapke is muHabbat bhare javaab ke liye beHad mamnoon hooN jis meiN aap ne likhkha hei:

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee nawaazish hai keh naacheez kee Ghazal ko pasandeedagee kee naz^ar se dekh`aa aur daad se sarfaraaz kiyaa. bohat bohat shukriyah qubool keejiYe.

:taar-e-anfaas-e-Ghazal: ko kyaa aap ne Kitabghar ko de diyaa hai? agar aisaa kar sakeN to :ghar baiTh`e: maiN bh`ee us se mustafeed ho sakooN gaa.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Aap se kyaa chupaanaa hei, aap ko tou maAloom hei keh barashaa baras kii mashq ke baavajood meri shaayeri meiN bahut se Auyoob reh jaate heiN. Is khud aagahii ne mujhe apna doosraa deewaN shayeA karne kii niyyat se door rakhkhaa. Khudaa bahlaa kare As'ad sm Saahib aur Sahil Saahib kaa jinhouN ne mujhe yeh kehkar himmat baRhaayi ke bahut se aise shayer heiN jou bahut hii kam ilm houne ke baavajood apne deewaan chapwaarahe heiN.

Iske bad silsilah yooN chalaa ke in dounoN Hazraat ne ye kahaa ke agar maiN ikhraajaat kaa tahammul karlooN tou baaqi ijraa'aat meiN mujhe koii fikr karne kii zaroorat nahiN.

Martaa kyaa nahiN kartaa maiN ne un se haaN kardi aur in dounouN ne Janab Dr. Iqtidar Farouqi kii madad Haasil karli jin ke tavassut se mandarje zeil muHsinaoN se tabsire likhwaaye:
1-Dr. Mohd. Iqtidar HuseiN Farouqi Saahib ne taAruf likhkha.
2- Dayar-e-ghair meiN aabaad Abdullah Nazir ke unwaan se Shamsurraham Faaruqi saabib ne chand suToor likhkhar iAzaaz bakhshaa aur meri aek shayer houne kii muhr-e-tauceeq cabt kardii.
3- Dayyar-e-Arab se aek sheAri majmooAah ke unwaan ke teHt aek safhe per Dr. Fareed Iqbal Zubairi, Lukhnaw, ne meri shayeri ke andaaz per bahut hii hauslah afzaa kalimaat likhkhe.
4- Ghinaayiyat se bahrpoor Abdullah Nazir ke ashAar, is unwaan ke teHt 2 safHaoN per Dr. SulTan shakir Haashimi, Sadr saahitiyah Acadamy, ne chand ashAar ke hawaale se Hauslah afzaayi farmaayi.
5- Abdullah Nazir ki ghazal ke Havaale se, is unwaan ke teHt Zia Farouqi Saahib Kaanpoor, ne mere kalaam ko saraaha aur himmat afzaayi kii.
6- Mazeed mukhtasar ta'assuraat likhne ke liye mandarja-e-zeil muHsinaoN se guzaarish kii gaii hei:
a- Usman Ghani Saahib saabiq Editor , Qaumi aavaaz, Lukhnaw.
b- Aabid Suhail, maAroof afsaanah nigaar, Lukhnaw.
c- Maulaanaa Shams Tabrez, Professor shobae Arabi, Lukhnaw University.
d- Professor Shaah Abdussalaam, shoba-e-Islamic studies, Lukhnaw Univer.
e- Professor Shaarib Rudulavi, saabiq sadar shoAba-e-Urdu, Delhi University.
F – Prof. Siddiqurrahman Qidwaaii, saabiq sadar shoba-e-urdu, Jawaahirlaal University, Delhi.
g- Prof. Taahir Mehmood, Shoba-e-Urdu, JaameA-e-milliyah islaamiya,Delhi.
h- Prof. Salahuddin Amari, Shoba-e-Islamic Studies, aligaRh Muslim University, AligaRh.
i- Prof.Wali ul Haq Ansaari, saabiq sadar shoAba-e-Faarisi, Luknaw University Lukhnaw.
======
Printers: Shee-wam arts, Lukhnaw.
Milne ke pate jin meiN izaafah baqii hei:
1- Syed Kamal Ahmed, , Abu Saraaye, Faizaabaad, UP.
2- Anwaar Book Depot, Ameen aabaad, Lukhnaw.
3- Daanish maHal, ameen aabaad, Lukhnaw.
4- Sidrah Pulishers, Shaahid Apart. Goulah Gunj, Lukhnaw.
5- Millat Book Center 125-A, sunnat nagar, Nayi Delhi, 110065.

Agar is baar kaamyaabi houi tou aayindah bhii koushish karungaa ke apni mashq jaari rakhooN.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Fri May 27, 2005 4:57 am

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb:aadaab!

Khat^ kaa shukriyah! maiN ne to Sirf yeh pooch`aa th`aa keh aap ne apnee kitaab kyaa Kitaab Ghar ko bh`ee dee hai? ab is qadar ma'loomaat mere paas hai keh is sawaal ke jawaab kee Z^aroorat hee naheeN rahee.

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

Abdullah Nazir · Post by **Abdullah Nazir** » Sat May 28, 2005 3:23 pm

MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz. :Sarwar: Saahib,

Purkhuloos TAsleemaat,

Aapke inaayat naameh ke liye behad shukrguzzar hooN. Aap meri Hauslah afzaayi nah kareN tou kaun karegaa.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Post by **jawaid badauni** » Sat May 28, 2005 5:44 pm

dunya wrote:
Janab Sarwar Sahib,

Tasleemat,

MaiN ne aapki poori ghazal kii copy apne computer kii Hard Disk meiN meHfooz karlii taakeh tafseeli tabsirah pesh karuN.

Matle se lekar maqTe tak saare ashaar parhne ke bad main yeh souchi rehi ke aek baar aur parha jaaye. Is tarah kaii baar parhti rehi lekin is nateejeh per pahonchi ke itni murassa ghazal per tabsirah karne ke liye alfaz kahaN se laaooN.

Meri daad aur mubarkbad qubool farmaayiye. Aur aek shear bhi:

rahaa nah khauf judaayi kaa umr bhar ke liye
jab apne haathaoN mei teri kalaayiyaaN dekheeN

Khair andesh,
Dunya,

Mohtarmah Duniya SahibaH, Tasleem,

Sarwar Aalam Sahab qiblah ki Ghazal per maiN kisee doosree site per tabsara kar chuka hooN. Mukarrar daad.o.tahseen ka koii jawaz nahiN. Albattah, aap ne jis andaz se mausoof ko daad pesh ki hai, woh daad Khood bhi qabil-e sud-daad hai. Mujhe aapka andaz pasaNd aaya.

HaaN Maadaam, aapke sheir ke hawale se kuch arz karna chaahta tha. Mumkin hai mera Khyaal ghalat ho aur yeh bhi mumkin hai aap iss se ittefaq na kareN. Ab baat dil meN aa gayee hai to kahta hi chalooN. Yeh dostoN ki mahfil hai.

Insaan ko jo cheez mil jati hai, usko hamesha yeh Khadsha laga rahta hai kahiN woh khooshi uss se chin na jaye. Lihaza iss sher meN gar yeh kaha jaaye keh teri kalaaiyaN hathoN meN aane ke baad teri judaai ka Khauf aur bhi darane laga to ziyada munasib hoga. Mera matalb hai, shayad yeh she'r kuch yooN hona chahiye tha:

Nah jane Khauf judaaii ka kyooN satane laga
Jab apne haathoN meN teri kalaaiyaaN dekheen

Aap ke jawab ka intezar rahega.

Mukhlis,
Jawaid Badauni

"jafaaYeN dekh` liyaaN, be-wafaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN"

"jafaaYeN dekh` liyaaN, be-wafaa,iyaaN dekh`eeN"

Bahut khoob waah wah

Bahut bahut shukriah aapki inaayat ke liye

Bahut bahut shukriyah

Re: Bahut khoob waah waah