Jashn-e-Bahar

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Steve Almas
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Jashn-e-Bahar

Post by Steve Almas »

Tasleemat
Hazreen-e-Mehfil

Aik aour taza ghazal Pesh-e-khidmat he

Steve Almas


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poet
nau-waarid
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:51 pm

Post by poet »

almas ji aap ka nam too main pehlay kai jaga daikh chuka hoon lakin aap ki takhliqat paRhnay ka ittifaq nahi howa tha. ( mayri bad naseebi ) mashallah. aik doo jaga aap nay kuch ghalitiyan ki hain un par nazar Dal lijay ga.
1) panah koo yahan alaf kay sath bandhna ghalt hay. ya lafz yoon likha jay ga "pnah" na ka "panaah" agar mayra kaha wazih na hoo sakay too ya mayra nahi roman urdu ka qasoor hoo ga lol. mazirat kay main roman urdu main apna muddaa biyan karnay say qasir hoon. nazar sahib wazih kar dain gay. is kay ilawa dewar ka wazn ghalt hay.
majmooi toor par ghazal pasand aai. dad qabool farmain
Steve Almas
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Post by Steve Almas »

almas ji aap ka nam too main pehlay kai jaga daikh chuka hoon lakin aap ki takhliqat paRhnay ka ittifaq nahi howa tha. ( mayri bad naseebi ) . aik doo jaga aap nay kuch ghalitiyan ki hain un par nazar Dal lijay ga.
1) panah koo yahan alaf kay sath bandhna ghalt hay. ya lafz yoon likha jay ga "pnah" na ka "panaah" agar mayra kaha wazih na hoo sakay too ya mayra nahi roman urdu ka qasoor hoo ga . mazirat kay main roman urdu main apna muddaa biyan karnay say qasir hoon. nazar sahib wazih kar dain gay. is kay ilawa dewar ka wazn ghalt hay.
majmooi toor par ghazal pasand aai. dad qabool farmain
Mohtaram
Aadab
Zahe Naseeb. chaliye der aayed durust aayed. Aaapki nazar-e-karam to hooi. Ghalatiuon ki nishan dahi ke liye bohat shukriya. Waisey Panah ke yeh do version samajh nahein aaye.

Aapki khariyat ka mutmani
Steve Almas
Star Mind
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Location: Balochistan
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Post by Star Mind »

Almas SaaHib, aadaab

bahut Khoob janaab ! ham maahir to nahiN k tanqeedi pehloN pe nazar rakkheN ! albatta aap ki Ghazal bahut pasand aayee ! daad qabool kejeye!
shukriya

moKhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
Steve Almas
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Posts: 43
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 6:52 pm

Post by Steve Almas »

Almas SaaHib, aadaab

bahut Khoob janaab ! ham maahir to nahiN k tanqeedi pehloN pe nazar rakkheN ! albatta aap ki Ghazal bahut pasand aayee ! daad qabool kejeye!
shukriya

moKhliS : Zia Baloch
Mohtram Zia Saahib
Addab-o-Niaz

Zaroorat to nazr ki he woh tanqeedi ho ya phir pasandeedgi .....
Ghazal per aapki nazr-e-karam aour Pasand ka dili shukriya. jawab ki deri ke liye ma'zrat chahta hoon.

Steve Almas
Steve Almas
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Posts: 43
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 6:52 pm

Jashn-e-Bahar

Post by Steve Almas »

Almas ji,

adaab arz hai.

waah kya ghazal kahi aapne paRhker bohat lutfandoz hui. khaas kar shair # 1, 2, 4, aur maqta tou lajawaab hai.

dhair saari daad qubool keejiye.

sara
Sara Ji
Aadab
Yeh to aapki nigah ki khoobsoorti he. Ghazal our uske ashaar ki pasand per shukriya.

:grin: :grin: :grin:

Mukhlis
Steve Almas
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