EK GHAZAL:ho sake to aap mujh par ek eh,saaN kijiye

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

EK GHAZAL:ho sake to aap mujh par ek eh,saaN kijiye

Post by najma »

sathiyo!
ek ghazal k saath is ummeed par hazir hooN ,keh apkopasand aeygii.asaatizah kiraam ki aa,raa ki bhi muntazir rahoongii.
:-)


1=ho sake to mehrbaaN! mujh par ik ehsaaN kijiye
aap haiN jis meiN makeeN, wo dil na weeraaN kijiyey


2=mausim-e-gul ka taqaazah hayba-unwaan-e-bahaar
aap agar hamraah hoN, khud ko Ghazal-khaaN kijiyey



3=shiddat-e-eh,saas se har aaNkh lau dene lagay
dil ke daaGhoN ko kuch-is,tarhaa numaayaaN kijiyey


4=dekh kar unko pishemaan-e-jafaa, kehta hay dil
nazr-e-husn-e-dost phir naqd-e-dil-o-jaaN kijiyey



5=asr-e-nau ke aadamii ke muzmahil eh,saas ko
mish,al-e-eesaar ki zau se furozaaN kijiyey


6=zindagii ke aainah-khaane pe yuuN kije nigaah
aap hoN hairaan, NAJMA ko bhi hairaaN kijiyey

:NAJJMA ANSAR NAJMA
Attachments
ho sake to--------roman.gif
ho sake to--------roman.gif (5.97 KiB) Viewed 1322 times
ho sake to--------.gif
ho sake to--------.gif (6.85 KiB) Viewed 1322 times
Last edited by najma on Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Raji
-
-
Posts: 211
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 6:58 am
Location: Home Sweet Home
Contact:

Post by Raji »

Azeezi Najma jee
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

umeed az mizaaj bakhair hasb-e-mamool, hasb-e-rivayaat aur hasb-e-aadaat aap ek baar phir ek khoobsoorat kalam ke saat Hazir hooveN aur hameN khosh kar gaheN. :-)

tamaam hee ashaar ache lage.
ek darkhwaast hai ke roman version ko gif na baneN taa ke hameN apne pasandeeda ashaar quote karne meN aasaani ho.

meree janib se ek khoobsoorat ghazal kee peshkash par daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.

Wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:
Meree sha'iree se mujhe jaan Lo
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
(Raji)
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

Raji wrote:Azeezi Najma jee
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

umeed az mizaaj bakhair hasb-e-mamool, hasb-e-rivayaat aur hasb-e-aadaat aap ek baar phir ek khoobsoorat kalam ke saat Hazir hooveN aur hameN khosh kar gaheN. :-)

tamaam hee ashaar ache lage.
ek darkhwaast hai ke roman version ko gif na baneN taa ke hameN apne pasandeeda ashaar quote karne meN aasaani ho.

meree janib se ek khoobsoorat ghazal kee peshkash par daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.

Wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:




1=ho sake to aap mujh par ek ehsaaN kijiye
aap haiN jis meiN makeeN, wo dil na weeraaN kijiyey


2=mausim-e-gul ka taqaazah hayba-unwaan-e-bahaar
aap agar hamraah hoN, khud ko Ghazal-khaaN kijiyey



3=shiddat-e-eh,saas se har aaNkh lau dene lagay
dil ke daaGhoN ko kuch-is,tarhaa numaayaaN kijiyey


4=dekh kar unko pishemaan-e-jafaa, kehta hay dil
nazr-e-husn-e-dost phir naqd-e-dil-o-jaaN kijiyey



5=asr-e-nau ke aadamii ke muzmahil eh,saas ko
mish,al-e-eesaar ki zau se furozaaN kijiyey


6=zindagii ke aainah-khaane pe yuuN kije nigaah
aap hoN hairaan, NAJMA ko bhi hairaaN kijiyey

:NAJJMA ANSAR NAJMA



raji jaan!
wa alaikum assalaam
aapki itni pur kholoos hausla afzaaee be-had shukriya
hukm ki ta,meel meiN, ghazal baGhair gif ke bhi haazir hay :oops: .aainda khayaal rak,khoongii .====wa,daa :cry:
:wink:
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

Bahut khoob, waah waah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah Najma Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal behut pasand aayi. Saare ashAar pasand aaye. MaiN is ghazal per tabsirah karte houe yeh bataadenaa chaahtaa hooN ke maiN usko aek kuhnah mashq shayer kii ghazal samajhkar apni raaye pesh karraha hooN jis se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN. Agar aap paRhengi tou kuch nah kuch faa'idah uThaasakengi aur agar rad kardengi tou na aapka nuqsaan houaa nah meraa.

1-Housake tou aap mujh per aek iHsaaN keejiye
aap heiN jis meiN makeeN, wo dil na weeraaN keejiye.

Mafhoom ke liHaaz se bahut hii achcha maTlaA hei. Alfaaz ke liHaaz se dounoN misraAoN meiN lafz aap ki takraar theek nahiN hei. Pahle misreA ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
Housake tou mehrbaaN mujh per yeh iHsaaN keejiye
2-mausam-e-gul kaa taqaaza hei ba'unwaan-e-bahaar
aap agar hamraah houN khud ko ghazalkhwaaN keejiye

Yeh sheAr bhii achchaa hei. Lafz "agar" kaa isteAmal aap ne agar is qasd se kiyaa hei ke samajhne waalaa yeh samjhe ke basharT yeh ke yaa us haalat meiN ke agar hamraah aanaa houaa tou. Warnah lafz "agar" kii jagah "jab" munaasib hougaa.
3-Shiddat-e-iHsaas se her aankh lau dene lage
dil ke daaghaoN ko kuch is soorat numaayaaN keejiye

Waah waah, bahut achcha sheAr hei.
4-dekhkar unko pashemaan-e-jafaa kehtaa hei dil
nazr-e-husn-e-doust phir naqd-e-dil o jaaN keejiye

Yeh sheAr bhii bahut achchaa hei. Doosre misreA mein husn-e-doust kii jagah mandarjae zail alfaaz isteAmaal kiye jaasakte heiN:
Chashm-e-doust, luTf-e-doust, waghairah.
5-Asr-e-nau ke aadami ke muZmaHil iHsaas ko
mashAal-e-ieecaar ki Zau se farouzaaN keejiye

Bahut achcha sheAr hei.
6-zindagi ke aayienah-khaane pah hou kuch yooN nazar
khud bhii houN Hairaan, :Najmah: ko bhii hairaaN keejiye.

MaqTaA bhii bahut achchaa hei.

Is bahut hii achchi ghazal per meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Wed Apr 06, 2005 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Re: Bahut khoob, waah waah

Post by najma »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramah Najma Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal behut pasand aayi. Saare ashAar pasand aaye. MaiN is ghazal per tabsirah karte houe yeh bataadenaa chaahtaa hooN ke maiN usko aek kuhnah mashq shayer kii ghazal samajhkar apn raaye pesh karraha hooN jis se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN. Agar aap paRhengi tou kuch nah kuch faa'idah uThaasakengi aur agar rad kardengi tou na aapka nuqsaan houaa nah meraa.

1-Housake tou aap mujh per aek iHsaaN keejiye
aap heiN jis meiN makeeN, wo dil na weeraaN keejiye.

Mafhoom ke liHaaz se bahut hii achcha maTlaA hei. Alfaaz ke liHaaz se dounoN misraAoN meiN lafz aap ki takraar theek nahiN hei. Pahle misreA ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
Housake tou mehrbaaN mujh per yeh iHsaaN keejiye
2-mausam-e-gul kaa taqaaza hei ba'unwaan-e-bahaar
aap agar hamraah houN khud ko ghazalkhwaaN keejiye

Yeh sheAr bhii achchaa hei. Lafz "agar" kaa isteAmal aap ne agar is qasd se kiyaa hei ke samajhne waalaa yeh samjhe ke basharT yeh ke yaa us haalat meiN ke agar hamraah aanaa houaa tou. Warnah lafz "agar" kii jagah "jab" munaasib hougaa.
3-Shiddat-e-iHsaas se her aankh lau dene lage
dil ke daaghaoN ko kuch is soorat numaayaaN keejiye

Waah waah, bahut achcha sheAr hei.
4-dekhkar unko pashemaan-e-jafaa kehtaa hei dil
nazr-e-husn-e-doust phir naqd-e-dil o jaaN keejiye

Yeh sheAr bhii bahut achchaa hei. Doosre misreA mein husn-e-doust kii jagah mandarjae zail alfaaz isteAmaal kiye jaasakte heiN:
Chashm-e-doust, luTf-e-doust, waghairah.
5-Asr-e-nau ke aadami ke muZmaHil iHsaas ko
mashAal-e-ieecaar ki Zau se farouzaaN keejiye

Bahut achcha sheAr hei.
6-zindagi ke aayienah-khaane pah hou kuch yooN nazar
khud bhii houN Hairaan, :Najmah: ko bhii hairaaN keejiye.

MaqTaA bhii bahut achchaa hei.

Is bahut hii achchi ghazal per meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.


mohtaram abdullaah nazir sahib!
assalam-0-alaikum
aap ki is shafqat bharii daad aur islaahii mashware ki dil se qadr karte huey, aap k us qeematii waqk ke liye bhi mamnoon, jo aap ne apni masroofiyaat k bawujood is naa cheez ke liye sarf kiya.
allaah aapko sehat-o-salamati k saath umre daraaz ata farmaey, aur aap hamarii rahbarii farmate raheN.
aameen
:-)
khair andesh
najma
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Re: EK GHAZAL:ho sake to aap mujh par ek eh,saaN kijiye

Post by najma »

sara_j wrote:
najma wrote:sathiyo!
ek ghazal k saath is ummeed par hazir hooN ,keh apkopasand aeygii.asaatizah kiraam ki aa,raa ki bhi muntazir rahoongii.
:-)

Beshak! zaroor pasand ayegi, akhir kyun pasand nahi ayegi bhala 8)


1=ho sake to aap mujh par ek ehsaaN kijiye ( :wink: bas aek hi ehsaan na!)
aap haiN jis meiN makeeN, wo dil na weeraaN kijiyey

bohat khoob! bohat khoobsurat matla kaha aapne!

2=mausim-e-gul ka taqaazah hayba-unwaan-e-bahaar
aap agar hamraah hoN, khud ko Ghazal-khaaN kijiyey

waah! bohat khoob!

3=shiddat-e-eh,saas se har aaNkh lau dene lagay
dil ke daaGhoN ko kuch-is,tarhaa numaayaaN kijiyey

bohat khoob najma ji kya kehne!

4=dekh kar unko pishemaan-e-jafaa, kehta hay dil
nazr-e-husn-e-dost phir naqd-e-dil-o-jaaN kijiyey

very nice!

5=asr-e-nau ke aadamii ke muzmahil eh,saas ko
mish,al-e-eesaar ki zau se furozaaN kijiyey

bohat ache!

6=zindagii ke aainah-khaane pe yuuN kije nigaah
aap hoN hairaan, NAJMA ko bhi hairaaN kijiyey

wah wah!

:NAJJMA ANSAR NAJMA
Najma ji is haseen ghazal per daad o mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.

sara



sara j
:shock:
aap ne daad kuch ziyada hi naheeN dedee bhala? :oops:
bohat shukriya sara j
khush rahiye
:-)
asad
-
-
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 9:11 pm

Post by asad »

Najma Sahiba Adab! :-)

iss behad murassaa' kalaam pe nacheez ki daad bhi qubool farmaayeiN!

khairaNdesh
asad
har ek se vo bazm mein shab poochte the naam
thaa lutf jo koii miraa hamnaam nikaltaa:)
Hashmat Usmani
-
-
Posts: 1173
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:00 pm
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Re: EK GHAZAL:ho sake to aap mujh par ek eh,saaN kijiye

Post by Hashmat Usmani »

salaam Najma saaHiba,

aapkii Ghazal nazar se guzrii aur paRh kar bahot pasand aayii. moHtaram Naazir saaHib kii aaraa ke ba'd ab ham aur kia kah sakte haiN. aapkaa kalaam bahot nafees hai aur merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarakbaad qubool kijiiye.

Hashmat
Image
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

asad wrote:Najma Sahiba Adab! :-)

iss behad murassaa' kalaam pe nacheez ki daad bhi qubool farmaayeiN!

khairaNdesh
asad
asad sahib!
is pur-khuloos hausla-afzaaee aur daa k liye maiN aap kii be-had mamnoon hooN.
khair andesh
najma
:-)
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

asad wrote:Najma Sahiba Adab! :-)

iss behad murassaa' kalaam pe nacheez ki daad bhi qubool farmaayeiN!

khairaNdesh
asad
asad sahib!
itnii pur-khuloos daad-o-tehseen ke liye apki be-had mamnoon hooN.aainda bhi hausla-afzaae farmate rahiye
shukriya
:-)
Dawood_Rizwan
-
-
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:30 pm
Location: Islamabad
Contact:

aoa

Post by Dawood_Rizwan »

mashaallah najma ji

mujay zati toor par teesra sher bhuhat acha laga. dad qabool kijay
rizwan




janab dawood rizwan sahib
bohat shukriya.
poori ghazal me se 1 she,r bhi pasand ka nikal aaey to baRii baat hotii hay.
apko pasand aya.bohat shukriya
:-)
zmufti
-
-
Posts: 594
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:28 am
Location: lahore
Contact:

Post by zmufti »

Najma jee,
Aap ki ghazal behad pasand aayi dad qabool kijye
I like the 2nd last best
zarqa
Ibn-e-siddique
-
-
Posts: 219
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:12 am
Location: Doha Qatar
Contact:

Post by Ibn-e-siddique »

Najma baji

aap ki ye ghazal mujhe pasand aayee

meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai, zaroor qubool keejiye ga :)

amjad
Mire ash'aar ae Iqbal kyuN pyaare na hoN mujhko
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Re: EK GHAZAL:ho sake to aap mujh par ek eh,saaN kijiye

Post by najma »

Hashmat Usmani wrote:salaam Najma saaHiba,

aapkii Ghazal nazar se guzrii aur paRh kar bahot pasand aayii. moHtaram Naazir saaHib kii aaraa ke ba'd ab ham aur kia kah sakte haiN. aapkaa kalaam bahot nafees hai aur merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarakbaad qubool kijiiye.

Hashmat
biradaram!
aapki is hausla-afzaaee k liye be-had mamnoon hooN.bohat shukriya.
khair andesh
najma
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Re: aoa

Post by najma »

Dawood_Rizwan wrote:mashaallah najma ji

mujay zati toor par teesra sher bhuhat acha laga. dad qabool kijay
rizwan




janab dawood rizwan sahib
bohat shukriya.
poori ghazal me se 1 she,r bhi pasand ka nikal aaey to baRii baat hotii hay.
apko pasand aya.bohat shukriya
:-)




janab dawood rizwan sahib
bohat shukriya.
poori ghazal me se 1 she,r bhi pasand ka nikal aaey to baRii baat hotii hay.
apko pasand aya.bohat shukriya
:-)
Post Reply